it's MINE
it only hurts me
it only comes after me because it's M I N E
so yes, i can blame myself
Dec 14, 2017
Dec 14, 2017 at 8:58 PM UTC
i'm kind of alone
which is ******* weird, really
"kind of alone"
but it's true
i'm surrounded by people
but i've never felt less wanted
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 8:03 AM UTC
i'm kinda
kinda scared, i guess
yeah
"scared"
when you say you're afraid, everybody's first response is "why?"
if i had a reason, i'd be able to fix it.
if i knew what caused the demons i'd have gotten rid of them by now.
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 8:10 PM UTC
They'll ask me how I am and I'll say "oh, uh, alive"
(or something to that extent, a minor variation, we can talk about that later)
But Monday? Monday was good.
Mondays aren't supposed to be good, either - we've got to get up and function and actually do things and that's much harder than it sounds, but Monday was good. I gave compliments and recieved them in return and a pretty girl smiled at me.
I was told that I was loved.
For once, I wasn't anxious.
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 7:59 PM UTC
It's like
We've swapped.
You've gotten better as I've gotten worse and we're in each other's shoes, now
Did you repair yourself at the same pace at which I was breaking, huh? That sounds fun, it sounds great, really.
But I've become less social and more anxious and less confident
And I'm both worth less and worthless, as in I mean less to people than I did and that I mean nothing to them, too
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 7:15 PM UTC
1/24/17
I talked to her today.
I cried in gym class over it.
I told myself what to say and I just couldn’t.
But I said what I needed to, and she apologized. We talked it out—actually had a nice, diplomatic discussion about it, and I got a promise. I know she’s trying.
And the funny thing is that I don’t feel completely emotionally drained anymore.
There’s something there.
2/8/17
It’s gone again. I think it was the drugs I was on: they cleared my mind.
Made me forget.
I lost everything I’d gained that day.
May 18, 2017
May 18, 2017 at 10:59 AM UTC
My hands keep shaking.
Pronouns are a mess.
Help? No, nothing really helps anymore.
I'm just
Kind of
Here
Essentially, there's really nothing left.
I'm a body running on automatic.
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 8:28 AM UTC
I've already prepared myself for the loneliness which is sure to come.
I just got back from Burger King.
I found out that I don't like Burger King.
May 15, 2017
May 15, 2017 at 8:03 PM UTC