You showed me heaven, but it smelled of sulfur.
You taught me love, but it wasn't the same shade.
You explained my body to me, and how it was reactive, sinful.
You told me my life was not my own. It was a part of a plan. Who's plan?
Oh yeah, "God's plan". The most powerful force ever to exist without being seen. Always to be feared and submitted to and never to be questioned.
How could you expect a child to survive in such a repressed state?
A place with no autonomy, no freedom, no love?
I planted my faithful mustard seed and was surprised when it couldn't grow without warmth, nutrients, and water. Funny how science can explain why this phenomenon happened, but God just remains silent.
Always so silent.
If I am deaf and blind, why has He not chosen me to be healed? What could a child have done to be forsaken?
May 23, 2023
May 23, 2023 at 9:18 AM UTC
nothing causes greater inner termoil
then a friend who pushes our truth further into us
when we finally have the courage to share
Mar 4, 2023
Mar 4, 2023 at 8:14 AM UTC
religious trauma
indoctrination
poisonous pedagogy
spiritual manipulation
emotional exhaustion
submission
possession
religious duality
child abuse
psychological distress
isolation
grief
recovery
ambivalance
self-actualization
self-soothing
safety
trust
autonomy
freedom
Feb 6, 2023
Feb 6, 2023 at 12:44 AM UTC
just as the braces of an adolescent teen bend and mold through force and binding
as does your love for me
Apr 7, 2022
Apr 7, 2022 at 10:40 PM UTC
Your smile is a fond memory
Though I remember it faintly
I care about your happiness
Sending warm regards
and thoughtfulness
May you be happy and have peace of mind
May your happiness flourish
and your heart feel kind
May you appreciate your feelings of joy
and simply remember
Your peace is a choice
Sep 8, 2021
Sep 8, 2021 at 1:12 AM UTC
As we sat in the car and the sun declined, the world turned to a peach hue and dimmed. The pouring rain from not only an hour before still felt as if it lingered in the air, sticking to my skin. A car joined us in the parking lot and started staring to the East, we both turned our gaze to align with theirs and saw a perfect rainbow accompanied by a faded second. And as we sat there and reflected on the topic of the human perseption of light, I found a moment to ask, "Can I kiss you so we can remember this moment forever?"
They replied, "of course".
Aug 10, 2020
Aug 10, 2020 at 4:05 PM UTC
Your lies are as pale as the backside of my thighs
The worst shade really
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 4, 2019 at 9:57 PM UTC
An empty chest
A stomach of pain
Swirling thoughts
Around in my brain
Countless hours
No time to live
Everything I am
I have to give
There's no point
Unless there's love
An endless equation
No one can solve
Day by day
It's all the same
Misery and sarrow
With someone to blame
Are you living?
Finding happiness
Or are you surviving?
Combatting mental illness
No courage to get help
Independence is key
Aid is unaffordable
Never free
Kindness of the innocent
A beacon of light
Someone to follow
Out of the black night
May 25, 2019
May 25, 2019 at 2:25 AM UTC
It's just me here
Speaking to the void that appears as a blank page in front of me
Any words I speak to others that contains any meaning only reflects negativity
The glimmers of me I let shine through the holes of my shell are always quickly denied
It seems no one wants to even look at me
It's clear I don't fit anywhere in this world
If actions speak louder than words then the world has preached novels to me
Lecturing me to leave
It's just me here
A cast away holding onto the last thread
Consciousness desparately dangling
I wish something would grab me and tell me it's okay
I'd be content with being pulled towards either direction
I just need to be told I'm meant to be somewhere
That I'm wanted
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 10:20 PM UTC
Fight for me.
Trust me.
Love me.
And I'll give you the world.
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 4:17 PM UTC