I lost me the day I found you.
Shed my skin like tears and waved my old self goodbye
Took some belongings but left my memories behind
If justice is blind
But so is my mind
Then what am I?
I lost me when I dared to call you mine.
Fell for your ice blue eyes and stone cold lies
Thought I knew you but all I knew was plastic.
If hope springs eternal
But my fountain has run dry
Then what am I?
I lost me when I lost my mind too.
Told everyone to leave me alone
Then complained that no one ever stayed with me.
If rose colored glasses are merely glasses
If the truth is the beautiful truth
Then what am I?
I found me the day I lost you.
Picked up my old self and dusted her off.
Introduced myself as the stronger one.
We both learned the true meaning of fear
But we both smiled for the first time in years
And for the first time, I spoke words I believed in.
“If rose colored glasses are merely glasses
And if the truth is the beautiful truth
Then, so am I.”
Mar 18, 2021
Mar 18, 2021 at 6:28 AM UTC
It's been a long time since my world turned upside-down
And you'll be happy to know I'm doing just fine
When I walk by your house at night
I only think of you twenty times
And now I'm sitting in the same room as you
Yeah, I'm totally not thinking about it
Trying to avoid your eyes
Cuz I can feel you avoiding mine
And really, I talk before the words go through my mind
And that's why now I stay closed off all the time
Now that I've got it, my first taste of crime
Did you like it better when I was polite?
Now I know what it feels like when you can't catch your breath
When you honestly think that you'd rather face death
For all of my silent screaming and all of my fears
And yes, I still remember after all of these years
Opening this notebook, it reopens old scars
I thought it was over, but it's barely just begun
Cuz I'm still walking by your second-hand car
Thinking that this is thought twenty-one
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 7:04 AM UTC
Roses grow, and your stone's cold
You're way up there, you're all alone
And normally I don't trust psychics who claim they can talk to the dead
But this time I guess I"ll go
The gypsy put her cold hands both on mine
Told me that there's help from the divine
That I could reach way deep inside
And find what you had left behind
I close my eyes but all I can see
Is the hole where you used to be
And all the crystal ***** in the world
Could never make me complete
Forget-me-nots evermore
A prayer sent for you and I
And normally I don't trust self-help books cuz they say all the same things
But I guess this time I'll try
It said 'Let your emotions be expressed and released'
But I feel they could never be free
'Talk about it whenever you can' it reads
But the only person who'll listen is me
I imagine you watching me
But I know I'm not just imagining
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 7:03 AM UTC
If he asks you if you're with someone
Say your mom's waiting in station two
Always give the man your extra change
Chances are that he won't report you
If you ignore them, they'll ignore you
Who cares about some curious kid?
For the first time being thought to be stupid
Might actually play to your advantage
And if anyone dares to ask you how old you are
Say you're old enough to know better than to tell them
Don't talk to anybody, no one will talk to you
You're not going to fall for them again
Be careful not to say a single word
You don't need the strangers' gaze
You know exactly where you're walking to
And you know all one thousand ways
Feel the morning air cool on your skin
Soak it in, you won't walk this way again
Stop by at the florists' shop
Breathe in the flowers' scent
You said you won't stop for anything
But maybe you'd stop for me
You walked in empty-handed
But you walked out with an orchid leaf
And maybe you might try to text me
You've done it eight thousand times
Your pride stops you from saying sorry
But you're hoping I'll read between the lines
And after everything's been done
The sand is beautiful when it's moonlit
Your family's been frantic, where've you been
Shake your head, they wouldn't get it
And maybe when I open my door tonight
I'll find a beautiful orchid leaf
And maybe when I stare out the window tonight
I'll know you're dreaming of me
I'll know you're finally sorry
And I'll know you're dreaming of me
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 7:01 AM UTC
night is dark but lights are bright
fades away but your ice blue eyes
continue to haunt me all the way home
i stayed at the party way too late
but i was wonderstruck today
and i never wanted to be alone
i'd never wanted anyone except me
but after seeing what we could be
i realise exactly what i've been missing
i can't sleep when it's so soon
i turn around, look at the moon
are you too looking at the same thing?
my black eyes search the black night
but i am using them to search for light
there will be a way
i think i'm in love with you
it feels forward but it's true
i was wonderstruck today
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 1:33 AM UTC
Alone, maybe it's not such a bad thing anymore
Can't fall asleep or remember what it was like before
Quietly lie, say I feel fine, as they check in for the hundredth time
I don't belong, I don't belong here
Stop saying that time is the best medicine
It's been months and I'm still not healing
You can't stop someone after they've already jumped in
Nothing, nobody knows how I'm feeling
And everyone thinks they understand
Say "I go through that all the time"
No you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be smiling
Blanket beneath my chin, stare at the TV
Even when it's off, and the wind blows free
And it feels like it's taunting me because I can't leave
I'm not bad, I'm not good, so what am I?
Please don't stick around. I don't want a glass of water.
Don't leave the curtains open, I don't want the light of day
Drown my feelings, I'm not the perfect daughter
You wanted, I tried but I died along the way
And the pain turns to hurt
And the bad turns to worse
Like I thought it would go.
You could never feel
All this pain, yes it's real
And it's like wildfire through my mind
And I'm falling through air
Feels like I'm not there
Maybe I'm dead
Alone
Is that such a bad thing anymore?
Sep 10, 2020
Sep 10, 2020 at 11:45 PM UTC
Remember when I said I'd see you one day?
Remember what I said to make me feel okay
About myself and now you're gone
I know you don't know me but I shoulda said goodbye
So many beautiful people I've lost in my life
And I know you didn't deserve to go
It's no myth though I try
To get you out of my eyes
Tear it out but there goes a piece of my life
And ever since you died
I've been trying so hard not to cry
And I keep thinking that I didn't say goodbye
And I remember that I loved you so much
Even though we never were close enough
So many memories I never got to write
I remember how I said I would meet all five
But in the end I suppose only four would survive
But I still know that you didn’t deserve to go
But you were too young, too needed to fade away
On such a beautiful day
Leaving our sorrow and pain
Nothing can bring you back this way
I prayed that one day
I'd get to meet you this way
So now I think God's fake
And I'm just praying, hoping, thinking, I shoulda said goodbye
Jul 14, 2020
Jul 14, 2020 at 3:06 AM UTC
Nobody cares anymore.
Money makes the world go round
Not the orbit of the sun.
The universe doesn’t matter anymore.
They say that we should keep our eyes wide open
But their eyes are glued down
At the screens that feed them information
Whether it is true or false
We don’t know anymore
We just go with it since we know no better.
As you get older
You accept the world
Instead of questioning it like you should.
So many things you could do
But you are cut off from it
Your eyes are blocked off behind the mask.
I wonder how many miles
Our thumbs must have scrolled
On our screens.
“Look at the moon,” they say
“Of course,” they reply but once they sit outside
They are back to scrolling through their phones.
“Slow down,” I want to say
“Everything will be okay.”
But everyone keeps rushing all the same.
They ignore the skies
And instead find their gold
In cheap, plastic, machine-made stars.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 7:41 PM UTC
I can fly with birds of sorrow,
I can fly with twisted wings.
I can fly like there’s no tomorrow,
I can sing like many springs.
People are but lonely birds,
Calling, calling, to be heard,
By other birds, by anyone,
Yet each bird keeps flying on.
Not ever pausing, to stop and hear
A lonely voice, calling dear,
The voices are lost, the voices are found
In the sound of the song, the song of the sound.
But I can fly on lonely waters
And stop to sing with lonely souls,
I can linger on the frontier,
And stop to sing, all alone.
I can soar above the clouds
Watching for someone worth singing with
Watching for someone in the crowds
A singer of songs, a legend, a myth.
But the sky is still grey, so bleak and dark,
Of blackness and unwanted things,
So I fly, as lonely as a lark,
Singing alone, on whispered wings.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 7:39 PM UTC
A silhouette against the ground
Striding across its battleground
Watch it as it comes around
Never lost yet never found
A silver streak against the night
A pounce, a **** with all its might
A piercing call towards the moon
Through the black, ferocious wood
The wolf is a comet, darting by
The wolf is a stalker, sneak and pry
The wolf is the fox of the night sky
The wolf, the wolf with the hunter’s eye
Of the woods it flies, of the moon it sings
It presides over all the forest things
It readies its paw, starts to spring
Soaring across the sky as if on wings
Ferocious in fight
Tenacious in plight
The wolf is a hunter at heart
Never with the night or the woods will it part.
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 7:34 PM UTC