I woke in the morning, everything seems normal
Suddenly there is a frightening reality that you gone
As I lay to face reality
I imagine I hear the shower, I run to see if you there
But you were never there
I look into your closet, I see clothes
Nothing triggers off a memory
I guess you were never there
In the garage I hear the engine roar
Again I run to see you, I see you car
But you were never there
I sit on the couch where I use to lay in your arms
I swear that it was true
But you were never there
At a dinner table for two, I look over at the empty seat
I know you use to sit there
But you were never there
In a king size bed, now I only take a fraction of it
I use to bury myself in you
But you were never there
So how did I get here
In this house with this couch and this bed
Was it a dream
Because you were never there
Nov 3, 2013
Nov 3, 2013 at 11:51 AM UTC
If she didn't have THAT past....
Would they have a future?
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 2:14 AM UTC
My sweetest pain
It feels like deja- vu, yet I am the writer this time around
I have set the stage, everything is on cue
I decided how this will end, I planned it all
Right to the time the dagger hits my heart
I choose to relive the pain
Because its my sweetest pain
The pain was so intense, I was submerged in it
So I rewrote the script, so that I would feel it again
Only this time i will not be numbed by the shock
This time I will make sure that it doesn't break me
I am prepared to sacrifice everything
Just to taste my sweetest pain
Again
Do you think its coincidence that the life span is the same
Or that the offspring is the same ages in both productions
The only way to perfect it, is to rehearse it
That way I control when the dagger strikes
That way I can taste my sweetest pain
Again
The scripts are identical in so many ways
I smile at how well I planned it, this is my Oscar moment
All the actors are in place, cameras ready to roll
As I strike the dagger
I smile as I feel my sweetest pain
Again!
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 11:22 AM UTC
When u travel on a road,
You have a map
When you travel by sea or desert,
You have a compass
When you travel by air,
You have navigation
When you travel by your heart,
What do you have?
When you feel, it directs you,
When your soul leaps, it moves you forward,
When the wind blows it causes you to turn,
Even just to change your direction
When your emotions are lost,
How do u move?
I have searched for the tremmer,
Or just a breeze,
Just a bump to knock me,
I searched for it in an ******
I searched for it at the bottom of a bottle
I looked in my childrens laughs
Where is it?
I am lost, for I know not what direction to take
I don't know who I am, or where I need to be
How do I send out a cry for help?
How do I call for rescue?
I search for silence, silence of the ever growing fear
Fear of loss
Fear of abandonment
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of never being found!
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013 at 5:30 PM UTC
Things we lost in the fire,
Sometimes the things we loose while in battle are not physical things
But rather characters of ourselves
I lost my bravery
I used to be able to jump into anything with guns blazing
Yet today I cannot decide what's my next step
Because I lost my most prized possession
I lost my bravery
Bravery has always been my tool to make the most of my life
Never afraid to loose
Of everything I lost in the fire
I miss my bravery the most
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 3:02 PM UTC
I close my eyes as I breathe in the ocean, I am happy
A little white house on the beach, you and I sitting on a verander facing the ocean
I smile as peace flows over me, this is my dream
My dream with u by my side
But you not here, you haven't been here for years
How does my heart recover when all it wanted was you
My heart searched for a similar love
And it has not found it, so now it transports me here
To my dream
My dream with you by my side
My heart comes here to feel you near
To smell your sweet mask, the smell that remains in it
My heart comes here to taste the happiness its lost
To taste the softness of your lips, the softness that soothes it
Yet this is a dream
My dream with you by my side
Now that my heart is filled with the memory of you, I smile
I open my eyes, tears rolling down my face because I know
That my dream is gone
My dream of you by my side
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 1:59 PM UTC
My soul where are you?
You have vanished from me
Yet sometimes I get a glimpse of you
But I close my eyes because you a reminder of all I lost
So I remain empty
Missing the piece of me that has hope and love
I no longer smile from you
I no longer dance from you
You are gone and I am glad you are
Although there is a part of this body
That longs to be a part of your happiness
But I cannot let you back in,
Fear has frozen my limbs
Fear has frozen my lips
Fear has frozen my heart
For I know I can never let myself be hurt
Again
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 6:46 AM UTC
What if...
That night you came home and
Wrapped your arms around me
If you whispered, I am home
And gently kissed me as I fell asleep
What if...
What if...
We stood side by side,
Watching our kids grow
Their first gold award
The first training bra
The first boyfriend
What if...
What if...
You stayed with me
And I didn't have to only meet you in my dreams
And all the butterfly kisses and touches were actually real
What if...
What if...
All the tears I cried had to gather and conspire to bring you back
And tomorrow I wake up and you laying next to me
What if...
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 2:39 AM UTC
I close my eyes as I breathe in the ocean, I am happy
A little white house on the beach, you and I sitting on a verander facing the ocean
I smile as peace flows over me, this is my dream
My dream with u by my side
But you're not here yet, I am waiting for you
Where are you, why you not here
How long do I have to wait for you, for my dream to come true
My dream with you by my side
So often I believed you were here, but it wasn't you
I don't know your face, but I know the way you make me feel
I don't know your name, but I know the way you say mine
I don't know when you will come, but I am waiting for you
I am waiting for my dream, my dream with you by my side
So I open my eyes and look at my desk
I breathe as I wait, wait for my dream
My dream with you by my side
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 5:20 AM UTC
I am dancing with him, but I am dancing for you
I know you watching me, I am aware you want me
I sway my hips to lure you, lure you to want me more
Because you and I have played this game before
A game of cat and mouse, a game of the mind
A game of power, so when he pulls me close I don't resist
Because I know you watching
I sway my hips to the rhythm of the base, with him up against me
I know you watching, I know you want me
So when you come and take my hand
I know that I have the power, the power to make you want me
I feel your breathe on my neck, I am intoxicated by my desire for you
Seduced by the sensation of your touch
Encouraged by the smell of your perfume
I drown in the power of you!
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 5:21 AM UTC