Be oh so careful
My child
Lest you fall into
This same trench filled to the top
With depression
With self-hate
With abhorrence for the world
It never ends
Oh it never ends
It never ends
You think you can crawl out
You have already filled your head
With far too great an illusion
Of hope
There's no climbing out
The top has a glass cover
We're in Hell's prison
And God knows we'll never escape
It's walls
When you first fall through
Deep down into these depths
You don't know where to go
Everything is wrong
You can't say no
You can't just sing a sad song
But with time you figure out which trench
Is just right
But no one ever really picks right
We always pick what cuts the deepest
Words are powerful
And being able
To wield words is no different
Than a sword or a gun or any other weapon
Words will always be used as weapons
Because words is the name
Of one of the oldest places
In this sordid depression in this planet
The sound of
Words
Fades away
So soon
But the remnants
Cut like daggers
Straight down to the heart
From the mouth of those
Who let hate spill from their lips
Like venom from a viper's fangs
A venom so thick
And so abundant
Makes a pool we cannot swim out of
Trapping us like quicksand
Assimilating us into itself
So far in that we cannot remember ourselves
But only the intoxicated remnants of which remain
Our body's and our mind's
No longer our own
But belonging to the void
That this hopeless pointless life has become
Inside the void you only fall
Forever wondering when you'll meet the bottom
With quite the impression
You'll leave in the ground
Your body won't be altogether
But then again you mind wasn't in one piece either
Broken down along with your spirit
From all the pain you long endured
With no body to tether you to the ground
You go to see you can fly
You can
So you aim for the sky
But the glass atop the trench
Still holds you in your place
Always reminding you that
You did not die completely
Because at your time of demise
Part of you was already dead
Jun 16, 2014
Jun 16, 2014 at 11:48 AM UTC
I feel the cold
Kissing my hate stained flesh
It burns
The pure snow is falling from the sky
Landing on my skin
I wish that touching something pure
Could cleanse me
But it cannot
I'm left filthy
Sordid with human sin
I look to want I want
Thinking it's up so high
But I'm so down low
I can't reach
I can't reach
Could I ever get it
Can I make myself worthy
Can I wash away the weight
Or is it the weight that drives me
To be better than I was
Maybe I'm cleaner than I think
And what I seek
Is simply unrequited
Perhaps that would be so much worse
Because if I'm covered in filth I can wash
But I can't force love on anyone
Not even someone I spend my life with
If they don't wish for me then they won't
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
Can I simply have
This one thing
It's so beautiful
I just want to make it mine
Is it possible
For my desire
To know what I want
And for it to hide from me
I hope and I pray
That it doesn't make me pay
Make me pain for love unrequited
I don't know if I could take the pain
I need a handful of pills
Pills to pop to take away the pain
I down them with a drink
I feel dizzy
My vision goes blurry
I'm falling
I hit the ground
All I see is black
There are people now standing in the rain
But not just rain
Their tears
Are drowning them
They fall to their knees
Lamenting
Staring at a hole
Six feet deep
And two feet wide
I purged my soul from my body
Bringing burden with the love
Felt for me in life
And grief for the loss
Of my soul so soon
I see the pain
Passing from person to person
The dissemination of depression due to
Decimating my right of decision
To dismiss my gift to be alive
I'm Dead
I see them from the sky
Their sorrow seeping from them
Sweeping away the land
I abhor the fact the that
I can not repent the choice I rue
But there can be no retribution
For what I've done
I'm long since past
Dead to the world
But not to the eternals
They don't know where to place me
Evil balanced
With good deeds done in life
Placed in Purgatory
Stuck in Limbo
Lingering
Between Hell and Heaven
I wander here
Wondering
Did I sacrifice my soul to sin
In my not so long life
I never bathed in Grace and Glory
The clouds covered the luminance
Perpetual dark
Always dying to fill my searching eyes
With some magnificent light
Of Glory from God
But only ever falling on flames
Oh so far below
Oh so far
I heard someone
Begging and pleading
Half collapsed to the floor
Telling me that there is always a chance
To rectify the wrongs
To reform to the right
I answered
With
How could I ever do such a thing
And get away with it
I stole my life away
From everyone I held dear
I made them question
Everything they did
Everything they said
All to the point
Of contemplating repeating
My own mistake
I walk down a path
Leading to a tunnel
But there's not just a light
It's split down the middle
One side is blinding light
The other a darkness so thick
I made it to the end
Where in lies a podium
Maned by not so much a man
But one man's skeleton
Robed in black with a boat behind
He look to me and said
There's been a discussion
And my sorrow is boundless
But my pity is none
I'll be the captain for your boat
Not the escort up your stairs
I look to him and said
I felt the burden of ******
It shook the earth to the core
I knew where I was headed
But I felt so much better than that Hell up there
He told me that I was not the first to see
The world in such a dim light
But also that I wouldn't be the last
Because hate and sorrow burden the soul
So much weight pulls one into hell
He stretched out his arm towards a boat
Gesturing for me to climb aboard
I stepped over the side and took my seat
I prepared for the worst imaginable things
But what I saw so far outweighed
Even what my own twisted imagination
Could conjure from it's depths
People tied to cliffs with crows pecking at them
And eating their entrails
The Gluttons of life
Now could not eat any food unless rebuked by their stomachs
The adulators of life
Either having their implements of sin destroyed or sealed
The ones that implemented avarice
Now have sealed closed fists
I looked back to limbo
And saw that ethereal form named Virgil
I cried out to gain his attention
He looked to me and said
I already guided one through this Hell
I cannot lead another
I turned back to face the winding path
I saw so many cliffs leading further down into Hell
Nine circles in all
And three seemingly lead dominate circles within the final one
I asked where I was to go
I was told
That suicide woods
Was the second circle of
The seventh circle
After I heard I was going down that far
I looked around the boat
I found the simple black ominous scythe
That death had brought with him
I brought the blade to my neck
And I ripped up as hard as I could
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 3:22 PM UTC