Before you let me down,
All I wanted was for you to be proud.
A boyhood desire is now gone because of your fire.
It burned everything.
Here I am not but a shell.
There you are, dead.
Though not in a literal sense.
Time heals wounds,
And your face from my mind.
A roar to a whisper your voice is muted.
It's one of a coward.
It seems strange that I once craved the regard
Of a depraved heart. One who never gave.
Father is just a title.
You, the false idol.
At the conclusion of all things you
You just gave up
left me feeling bitter and disgusted.
The anger has long since faded
And all I know is how to feel nothing;
A recurring theme.
And that is what you taught me.
What remains of you? A shadow
Of a jaded past. It’s never been easy
But now I see with such clarity.
My eyes are like the desert
No tears to fill the mind’s sky.
The one thing I learned is
That I am strong.
I’m not broken. Not lost.
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 12:59 AM UTC
We were reckless;
Young and on fire.
I’ll always remember the tenderness.
With bated breath we watched each other grow
From Crestview to Spruce Street
Our lives changed forever when
You said
“Should we try that again?”
Now you’re gone
And you took all I had to give.
All I’m left with are dusty photo albums
Filled with the people we used to be.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 3:22 PM UTC
False glimmering smiles are always eager to
Make you believe
They are on your side.
Swift.
Eager.
Dying for
You to bend for them to feed.
You took my heart and set it on a dusty shelf
Next to our childhood.
I wanted to believe in you.
There’s always a fight and when you know
Nothing comes freely, you’re deluded when you think
That acceptance comes easy.
So when the day came that you thought it was your place
To tell me who I am because
I had kissed too many bottles I
Realized your game. You
Think I’m weak, but that’s okay.
How dare you make me feel
Like my claim to my identity is something
Trivial and is yours to take.
I am not defined by your expectations
Of the man you think I should be
Or of the men you think I should love.
Am I supposed to introduce you to every
Guy I ****
You see, you’re wrong if
You think that I’m ashamed of myself.
What I am ashamed of is the family that
Claims they will always be there for you
Unconditionally
Are only there when it’s convenient for them
Or only they like what you’re saying.
I am ashamed that you made me feel like
I was at home when
All you really cared about was building ammunition
To burn down the trust that I misplaced.
How dare you continue to lie to my face.
How dare you.
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 1:51 PM UTC
Sick of circling the same road.
Sick of bearing the guilt.
I’m so sick, infected with
A dream that we were dead
But we took everything life could give;
Almost thought we made it home.
I don’t know who I am anymore
And how can you look at me
When I can’t stand myself?
My scars are yours today
This story ends so good.
Tell me you hear my cry,
I hear haunted melodies calling me.
Lying when I say I’m free of pain;
I’m just paranoid of getting lost
Or that I might lose.
I’m pouring out passion.
I’m hanging by a thread.
Still I like to think you said
“This is not where the story ends.”
The sun will set on this, my dear.
We’ll cry tonight, and in the morning we are new.
I want to find the book and read it again
And savor in this heart that’s healing.
The dawn is breaking; we can see the fire glow.
Take my hand we’re almost home.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 3:54 PM UTC
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear and
Tell me there’s nothing to fear.
In your arms it feels like home.
I never thought you’d
be mine to hold.
How can it be,
Everything I want is all you are.
Cursing the way we got our start.
Totally infatuated, by the thought of us. I’m a fool.
Obviously,I’ll never have you.
Reason is abandoned.
But perfection is that look in your eyes
Reboot my mechanical heart;
it’s broken down, Jump start my life.
The words you speak, a work of art,
To be yours is all I want.
Thinking about ‘I love you’
I haven’t felt this way in...
It’s been a while,
Enamored by your piercing stare.
You are my answered prayers.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 12:34 PM UTC
The stillness after a fresh snowfall
Unsettles as senses heighten.
The bright sky hangs and falling ever closer.
The air is alive with a buzz of the gift.
Through the night light shines as day
And serenity sings.
Fire rolls across the sky, a mighty titan
The lightning dances in and out
The rain falls washing away all disdain
Of what never was.
Your words light the black sky of my mind
Like sparklers and fireworks though
You couldn't ever know.
It’s something about you that I just can't get over.
That hold over me like
The greatest story never told.
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 1:20 PM UTC
An idle mind thrives
On forced optimism.
For every action incites a reaction
And I’m always waiting for a sign
That things will be okay.
All I want is
To know there’s a reason, that it’s all for naught.
The mind is a cruel place it
Creates constant acts of treason.
Seeking the truth through logic’s embrace.
I’ve never been above disgrace.
All I have are the ghosts
Of haunted memories;
The remnants of a life which once was.
I’m trying to pick up the pieces
I keep cutting my hands on the
Fragments of a broken past.
The hardest lesson to learn:
Can’t fix shattered glass.
The battlefield is a dangerous place,
Deep in the facets of my mind many landmines await.
I hold myself to an unfair standard,
Judging myself against a measure of others.
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 5:02 PM UTC
It would be so easy to give in.
Though I don't want to end up back where I began.
You reap what you sow.
What you spend time doing informs on your character.
All I know is,
I will never surrender.
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC
I don't want to be your friend,
I want to be your lover.
I want to be the reason you smile,
and the person who makes your
Eyes light up the like the morning's first sun
I want to see your every candid moment.
I love you,
And I want you to love me too.
While I write these things with such ease,
I'll never say them aloud.
I can't speak for the way you think of me.
In a different place,
At a different time,
Living another life,
We could be the stuff that makes up dreams.
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 9:55 AM UTC
Your voice is like
The sound of rain falling and
Your touch is like Atlas, it
Moves mountains. Those
Lips like silk sheets and
Your tongue crashes into mine like
Ocean waves.
I breathe you in like
The scent of sweet summer wine.
I’m drunk.
The world spins and you
Catch me.
I am the moon,
You are the tide and
We dance an eternal set of steps.
They transcend the heavens and like
An enchanting New Mexico sunset
We find new life during the night.
When the sun rises, your light guides
Me home.
You’re mine.
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 5:24 PM UTC