riiptides - Hello Poetry

i said i like broken houses and what is a broken house have i felt that cold in me in bones and skin and nails that scratch into a wall which won't be even marked by daylight and maybe it wasn't as broken and that's why i relish in the falling apart that sordid emptiness the freefalling, such helpless moment because daylight never made it better nor worse because my eyes are blind to color and sound and touch and there's nothing that can change how i perceive my surroundings so don't give me lillies, look at my walls and you will see the ones i had already withered away in time in death and having flowers depresses me like it's some sick way of seeing death and you killed for giving me something nice so that i can think about you by night but all i get to think about is how that flower could've gotten to grow and be even prettier and how everything that's beautiful one day loses all its petals and we throw it away so i fear that when i'm no longer what you want what you pictured in your silly mind then you'll throw me away like i'd do with a decaying flower.

0

Jul 20, 2015

Jul 20, 2015 at 1:32 PM UTC

Untitled

i said i like broken houses and what is a broken house have i felt that cold in me in bones and skin and nails that scratch into a wall which won't be even marked by daylight and maybe it wasn't as broken and that's why i relish in the falling apart that sordid emptiness the freefalling, such helpless moment because daylight never made it better nor worse because my eyes are blind to color and sound and touch and there's nothing that can change how i perceive my surroundings so don't give me lillies, look at my walls and you will see the ones i had already withered away in time in death and having flowers depresses me like it's some sick way of seeing death and you killed for giving me something nice so that i can think about you by night but all i get to think about is how that flower could've gotten to grow and be even prettier and how everything that's beautiful one day loses all its petals and we throw it away so i fear that when i'm no longer what you want what you pictured in your silly mind then you'll throw me away like i'd do with a decaying flower.

32

i like broken houses a little too much. shattered glass rotting floorings dust and cobwebs and echoings so you can nearly hear the laughter and the cries of her old residents and how she's kept them in an ivory box all those years in her basement while everything else ******* falls to pieces and there's nobody to mend a single thing. maybe nothing's the same after hearing a hospital hall's echo and how he only tries to get away from the screams and kisses and the pristine courtains barerly let light in and he's a broken mess that hasn't been abandoned but the impending damnation breaks him and kills others death resides but so does life and which one is stronger and poetry cannot fix the world or fix her or fix him or anybody and buildings should be buildings and a dust-covered door should not be a call for my curiosity and i should not mark my fingerprints on it because my sweaty palms will make her shriek awake and believe someone's finally going to take care of her while someone else then walks away and leaves her walls stained i feel the allure of it somehow because there's no more ******* glass to stain break scratch within her so i must find some in me some that can contain her and contain me i'm falling fallingfallingfelldownandwhereaminow and hospital halls are nothing but white and sad and a cemetery that's being pieced together and it smells of cleaning products but the abandoned place has harbored entire lives so maybe i'd rather bleed out at an abandoned house without glass than next to a graveyard in the make people tell me i should stop thinking so much.

0

Jul 20, 2015

Jul 20, 2015 at 1:30 PM UTC

Untitled

i like broken houses a little too much. shattered glass rotting floorings dust and cobwebs and echoings so you can nearly hear the laughter and the cries of her old residents and how she's kept them in an ivory box all those years in her basement while everything else ******* falls to pieces and there's nobody to mend a single thing. maybe nothing's the same after hearing a hospital hall's echo and how he only tries to get away from the screams and kisses and the pristine courtains barerly let light in and he's a broken mess that hasn't been abandoned but the impending damnation breaks him and kills others death resides but so does life and which one is stronger and poetry cannot fix the world or fix her or fix him or anybody and buildings should be buildings and a dust-covered door should not be a call for my curiosity and i should not mark my fingerprints on it because my sweaty palms will make her shriek awake and believe someone's finally going to take care of her while someone else then walks away and leaves her walls stained i feel the allure of it somehow because there's no more ******* glass to stain break scratch within her so i must find some in me some that can contain her and contain me i'm falling fallingfallingfelldownandwhereaminow and hospital halls are nothing but white and sad and a cemetery that's being pieced together and it smells of cleaning products but the abandoned place has harbored entire lives so maybe i'd rather bleed out at an abandoned house without glass than next to a graveyard in the make people tell me i should stop thinking so much.

40

i was darker than you and it made me sad to think you're so shallow you could never take my different shades of black

0

Jul 20, 2015

Jul 20, 2015 at 12:41 AM UTC

Untitled

i was darker than you and it made me sad to think you're so shallow you could never take my different shades of black

3

(...) she wanted him there like old times, waking up next to him and to his messy bedhead she’d always tease him about. She wanted the discussions because he’d play when she was already asleep and keep her up the rest of the night and she was a workaholic but he was a way better drug than anything she’d ever had and maybe she hadn’t dropped drugs all at once because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing all of him.

0

Jul 20, 2015

Jul 20, 2015 at 12:40 AM UTC

Untitled

(...) she wanted him there like old times, waking up next to him and to his messy bedhead she’d always tease him about. She wanted the discussions because he’d play when she was already asleep and keep her up the rest of the night and she was a workaholic but he was a way better drug than anything she’d ever had and maybe she hadn’t dropped drugs all at once because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing all of him.

1

it hurts, i know and it's just a girl, they tell you and you could scream because no it's not just a girl it's a hole burnt in your skin, it's a hole pierced through your heart and it's the memories that (once) made you smile and now they feel like KNIVES through your stupid ******* SOUL but don't cry, no don't you ******* let them see she isn't just a girl because for six months she turned into your whole stupid world and now it crumbled down and it feels like choking it feels like being underwater. ( drowned ) but, still, don't cry even though you want her back and you never got to feel her arms around you or her lips or her flawed nose you teased her about because you can't let them see you weak what are you even doing anymore just get up and don't ******* cry just ignore it. (and by this i mean that it's okay if you cry and i love you even with a broken heart)

0

Jul 20, 2015

Jul 20, 2015 at 12:39 AM UTC

Untitled

it hurts, i know and it's just a girl, they tell you and you could scream because no it's not just a girl it's a hole burnt in your skin, it's a hole pierced through your heart and it's the memories that (once) made you smile and now they feel like KNIVES through your stupid ******* SOUL but don't cry, no don't you ******* let them see she isn't just a girl because for six months she turned into your whole stupid world and now it crumbled down and it feels like choking it feels like being underwater. ( drowned ) but, still, don't cry even though you want her back and you never got to feel her arms around you or her lips or her flawed nose you teased her about because you can't let them see you weak what are you even doing anymore just get up and don't ******* cry just ignore it. (and by this i mean that it's okay if you cry and i love you even with a broken heart)

27