renee-riffle
American
I am a Virgo through and through! I am logical, analytical and able to see all sides of a debate. My opinions are strong, mostly because I don't form one until I know through my own experiences, therefore I am brutally honest and some people think I am 'harsh' or 'insensitive' but that simply is not the case! I like to march to the beat of my own drum and take often stray from the path that has been paved for me just to see if I can! I am also a psychic sensitive, which does not classify me to predict the winning lotto numbers or tell you if your spouse is loyal or not, it simply means I am a sponge to the emotions of those around me. Therefore I have found I am more of a loner. But for the most part I am an extremely positive individual and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I am a single Mother of 2 teenagers (a son and a daughter) and 2 Boston Terror's (I didn't misspell that either) and THAT damn near makes me a Saint!
Early morning the world still sleeping,
The only sound was the birds singing.
My meditation and solitude was broken
With the sound of the phone ringing.
My heart sank quickly at the words I would hear.
Somehow I already knew, A deep breath I held.
Closed my eyes to see the picture my head drew
Your color fading quickly
Red, purple, blue and then grey,
Your hands were clenched around your throat
The panicked look on your face,
You were gasping for air as if you had choked.
The Present and Afterlife were starting to collide,
Life’s memories brought peace as you laid there and died
Then a blank stare
Your eyes a lifeless glaze
Your last moments had passed
You’ve reached the final phase
Thinking back on our conversation,
Accepting death you confessed
Acting as if I supported your decision was the ultimate test.
The mental block was successful,
I gave you a warm smile, I hugged you so tight & walked away
Out of your site, I fell to my knees and began to pray.
Sobbing…
My arms holding my stomach at the news that came over the phone,
Cumbersome
My regrets of keeping it inside, you believed your decision to die was condoned.
If I had it to do all over again, would the outcome be the same?
My decision of you not to worry about me partly to blame?
A few days have passed, as I stare at your final resting place.
I feel a breeze & close my eyes just to picture your face.
A tap on my shoulder “My Condolences” I hear.
Pulling my knees tightly to my chest & used my shoulder to wipe my fallen tears.
I nodded my head to the stranger, the same warm smile I gave,
As they stared at the fresh dirt that was laid upon your grave.
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM UTC
If you think with your heart and not with your head
This world will leave you broken & left for dead.
To believe that your past is now history,
You should prepare for a lifetime of misery.
If you are a doormat for the world to use,
You have sentenced yourself to a life of abuse.
To grant the world happiness & sunshine all day,
This will leave your days dingy & gray.
Too hard for most, this is only for the elite,
But sometimes you fall & need help back on your feet.
To be chosen to see the world thru a different light,
Only later, you learn it was not worth the fight.
Again & again, you sacrifice your happiness for all,
And no one is there to pick you up when you fall.
A heart is broken again; you were given false hope,
They saw you drowning & never threw you a rope.
This time was your last; you’re too weak to attack,
That is when your eyes go hollow and your heart turns black.
Too scared to care again, your heart is completely numb,
The dead still walking is what you have become.
Now you have fallen & chose not to arise,
No longer wanting a part of the evil that this world applies.
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 1:11 AM UTC
Insecurity and fear is haunting me again,
I have not figured out how to escape this sin.
When I let my guard down, the weakness I feel
It is Love, My ultimate evil.
I have no choice or control
This is an inner battle with my soul.
Torn to shreds by the thoughts I consume
I know this place well, it is my ultimate doom.
Love. It is my Darkness. The heartache you will feel
It hurts so bad, the pain is real.
From death, growing apart or not seeing eye to eye
One day it inevitable, you will say good-bye.
So scared, breathe deeply, I start to calm down
Security and safety are finally found.
I welcome your darkness it is my true friend
Solitude is the one thing I need till the end.
Triumph again! Love, I must walk away
If only they understood, if they would see it my way.
Alone again, a safe place for me
My heart I will keep guarded, that is my eternity.
‘She’s built up a wall’ I’ve heard them chime
My heart is so numb; it was broke too many times.
Alone? It’s not my darkness, this is where my happiness lye’s
No hurt, No pain, or true love that dies
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 1:09 AM UTC
This poor girl, she completely had it coming!
Even I have to admit that the ending was stunning….
Ladies & Gentleman! Boys & Girls!
Pay close attention and the lessons are yours….
A casting call for a play that he advertised
Renee leaving her guard down stopped in and applied.
With compassion shown, He convinced her to stay for a while.
Renee, so naive, believed him because she loved the way that he made her smile.
Renee saw the sadness and pain that he could not disguise
She trusted his role, He will bring a tear to all of the audience’s eyes.
Renee took the role from His story to heart. Meanwhile; she did not notice her own life began to fall
She cried for Him to help her, but he said he was too busy preparing for the Masquerade Ball.
There she goes again! Renee is following her heart, has she COMPLETELY forgot?
This is where I had to step in to protect her and show her the plot!
I have warned Renee in the past so I reminded her
When you start to care, history show’s it is your heart you despair!
I thumbed through the script & there He wrote on the last page….
At the end of his story, Renee ended up alone on the stage.
A ****** up tragedy for Renee’s character,
She put a dagger to her heart and her blood poured on the floor.
When Renee read this scene, she did not know what to do…
So I yelled at Him….
“SHE FINALLY LOVED AGAIN! SHE TRUSTED HER HEART WITH YOU!”
She insisted on believing Him…. God! This girl does not have a clue!
I had to stop her from this mistake, so I grabbed her and choked her until she turned blue.
I have kept her hidden, That is, until today,
Bound, gagged, & tied, because she cannot take the pain when she gives her heart away.
Sadly, we all know how this story will end…
I killed her so Renee’s heart would start to mend.
She fought me so hard; this girl said she knew love,
Nevertheless, I knew she could not handle it, so I watched her soul rise above.
**** Love, **** Hope, **** Trust and **** YOU!
Renee’s Dying words were “But my love for him was true!”
THE END
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 1:08 AM UTC
The Outcast’s was the last name they once had shared,
All members of this family would have their security despaired.
The sky was being swallowed by the evening’s twilight,
For the Outcast’s it symbolic, for their hope they must fight.
The sky, now jet-black and their presence seemed so small,
The Outcast has joined forces to regain the future they once saw.
Dawn brought faint colors in the east sky of light blue,
The Outcast’s started sorting out all the troubles they had been through.
This family, forever changed as they parted ways,
The black sky, just a sign that there will be a dawn of a new day
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 1:06 AM UTC