I deserve everything
I deserve nothing
I'm thankful for what I was given
I am full of grief for what I lack
I see a friend with parents who move to be nearer
Who build her shelves and and brim with pride
Who enjoy her company and strive to help her succeed
And I wonder who I might have been with parents like that
What I might have done with a life free of neglect
I am gifted
I am brilliant
I am loyal
I am loved
And yet
There is a hole in me
That I don't know how to fill.
I can fix many small things.
I am hopeful
I can learn how to fix this too.
Apr 28, 2025
Apr 28, 2025 at 12:58 AM UTC
I never really understood
what it meant to
ache
with longing,
but now
I know.
I think too hard about
holding your hand
or kissing your lips;
sitting next to you on a train
or your couch --
or mine
and I feel it --
a sweeping pain.
Literal actual pain
from my teeth
to my stomach
to the tips of my fingers.
A reminder of how far my heart is stretched,
reaching for you.
Mar 16, 2025
Mar 16, 2025 at 2:24 AM UTC
that I will take home with me:
park benches in the sun
your hand in my hair
the care with which you cook
wordless touches in the morning to say we're awake
my fingers on your neck
forehead kisses
smile lines
cobblestones
windswept hair
backrubs
blister bandages
morning stubble
sunscreen stains
your mother's cooking
dog fur
sleep-rasped voices
strawberries
train selfies
reaching for your hand
a neon dancing fish
your grandmother's coffee
your lip ring against my mouth
five thousand three hundred twenty-seven miles
one date seed
Aug 27, 2023
Aug 27, 2023 at 6:28 PM UTC
there is an ache in my chest
the size of my current happiness
the shape of your touch
that will crack my heart open when I leave here
I am altered
changed by the reality of you
I don't know how to go back
to the smallness of only seeing you
through a screen
every dimension of you
compressed
into my pocket
Aug 24, 2023
Aug 24, 2023 at 10:54 AM UTC
in a few weeks
this ticket will
unfurl
stretch its wings
soar
in a roar of fuel and fire
quickly, but
never quick enough
carry me to
a strange new world
and finally
finally
to you
Jun 25, 2023
Jun 25, 2023 at 3:34 AM UTC
loving you feels
...different
it's not a headlong rush
not a quick descent to a hard landing
not scary
or fickle
it feels
safe
comfortable
inevitable
I have grown into it
learned to love myself
and in so doing
recognized
over time
that you were there
loving me
just the same
as you always have
Feb 13, 2023
Feb 13, 2023 at 11:27 PM UTC
There lives this one guy in Kuopio
who is just a little bit dope, yo
his jokes are appalling
and yet he's enthralling
he's goofy, yet somehow I cope, though <3
Sep 2, 2022
Sep 2, 2022 at 12:05 AM UTC
in my dreams
this **** screen
grows large
becomes a portal
and with joy
I step across
into your arms
easy as that
I guess I'm a little impatient.
Sep 1, 2022
Sep 1, 2022 at 11:54 PM UTC
I know how to say 'hello'
terve
I can name colors
sininen
I can call you a wizard
sinä olet velho!
but in no language
do I yet have the words
for how you make me feel
Sep 1, 2022
Sep 1, 2022 at 11:34 PM UTC
I am soft
I am curve and lush flesh
I am smooth and round
I am sensuous comfort
and that is never a bad thing.
Jul 24, 2022
Jul 24, 2022 at 8:33 PM UTC