Desire to fly alone and soar again
And continue to grow, becoming strong.
Enemies fear me greatly, for my gaze
Is causing the competition to work.
Receiving points, I crave so much to stay
Collide with the attempt of winning but not
I embrace defeat so gracefully
Support around overwhelms me greatly
I fear in what is really on their minds
Disappointed in myself for stopping us
Victory will hopefully wait until I fly
Because I want to fight on my own
Sep 24, 2020
Sep 24, 2020 at 12:47 AM UTC
A wall surrounds me that
acts like I am not a threat.
Acts like I am not an equal
I return to the corner of those
who are underestimated
Walls will not stop us even if
we are six-foot or five-foot two
We must break through.
The Iron Wall.
A wall seen as indestructible
A wall that mocks me
My hands spikes the ball only to
ricochet and slam
into the court beneath me
Run faster.
Jump higher.
Get there before they even realize.
A wall is only a problem until
you can see the other side
The view over the wall
is right before me
clear as day but
I know it’s only temporary
Temporary because there will
be more walls
Walls that I will have to take down
There will be other obstacles on
the other side that I will have to face
but breaking down the wall is
what I must face now
Sep 24, 2020
Sep 24, 2020 at 12:44 AM UTC
Mother wept for weeks when you died.
Her cries rang throughout the house
as if she had put a microphone up to her mouth.
She demanded to know why I killed her daughter.
Where was the daughter who wore floral skirts to spin around in?
Where was the daughter who wore shimmering gold makeup as a way to be pretty?
Where was the daughter that begged for her hair braided like Katniss every morning?
She demanded answers but I don’t know if you actually ever existed.
I know you tried to exist.
I know you kept trying to stop me from ‘taking your place’
by devouring every feminine stereotype you could find.
I couldn’t live repressed under emotions you refused to address.
I couldn’t survive as you tried every title besides the correct one.
I couldn’t stand the sight of you in the mirror or photos
I still can’t.
Maybe I did **** you as I cut my hair shorter than you wanted.
I killed you by throwing out all your favorite clothing items.
I killed you by no longer letting you be the ideal daughter.
I killed you just like I started to **** our family.
All it took was a simple letter saying I wasn’t a girl, but instead a boy.
The silent treatment felt more like a punishment for wanting to be me.
I was cut off while I still lived in the same house as them.
The only thing is that I would **** you again,
but only if I got to see you crumble away every time.
Sep 24, 2020
Sep 24, 2020 at 12:43 AM UTC
There was a time where the only color I could be was blue.
I was drenched within sadness and despair.
Everything crashed around me like waves crash against a ship.
I was only the color blue.
There was a time where the color I possessed was red.
All I could feel was anger.
My voice always raised and ready to snap.
The only thing I wanted to do was drench other people in the color blue.
I began to try to make purple.
The blue and red started to fade and yellow began to shine.
There was no sadness or anger inside me.
I wore a smile at all times, happy to be happy.
I loved so hard and gave everything my all.
Until I was no longer yellow.
Every color there could be would hit me.
Phases would come and go.
Some would even return
Until everything muddled together all at once.
Creating the color black.
I felt so hard, everything affected me in ways I did not like.
I was human, feeling multiple things at once and not one at a time.
The color black consumed me when I took my medication.
It consumed me when I tried to get better and succeeded.
It made me feel human.
It made me feel normal.
It made me feel hopeful.
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 29, 2019 at 12:53 AM UTC
You silenced us
Ruined my trust
No longer on your mind
But you're still on mine
Why did you ruin this
Why did you let us kiss
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 10:19 PM UTC
I was placed in a grave,
but I crawled out for you.
It wasn’t because you were
charming or handsome,
but how I felt as you spoke.
The flutter of my heart,
the laughter escaping me,
and I how I desperately wanted
to kiss you.
I reached out,
you were all I ever wanted,
but I reached too soon.
The ground crumbled around my feet,
and I was 6 feet under
my heart filled with despair.
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
Once Upon A Time
There was a princess who was deemed
most beautiful of them all.
She didn’t want the title,
and the title didn’t want her.
For she never felt beautiful.
Her hair hit her waist,
a burden.
Her eyelashes were too long,
a flashy comment.
Her figure was an hourglass,
a shame.
Her dresses were too tight,
a misleading statement.
The title told her to talk to the witch,
and she would know what to do.
So the princess ran to a small cottage,
to find a striking young man looking at her.
He was what the princess wanted to be.
For he was a boy, and she was stuck as a girl’s body.
“Please help me not be the most beautiful,”
the princess pleaded, offering everything she owned.
The witch looked down at her, but smiled softly.
“Are you wishing to be a prince?”
The teenage girl nodded, pleading to be so through a candle.
The hatred for her body was too much to handle.
So with a snap,
on the floor there was a handsome young chap.
He looked at himself in the mirror,
and began to cheer.
His hair was short,
a blessing.
His eyelashes were stubby,
a subtle touch.
His figure shaped as a box,
a boost in self-esteem.
His clothes fit just right,
a statement right for him.
“Prince, Jasper, must go on ahead,”
with a smile the witch said
turning into a beautiful woman.
The prince smiled brightly without vain,
not having to hear the old name.
“Thank you, for your acceptance. This was vital,”
the young prince said before yearning a new title.
The kindest prince to ever live.
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 9:36 PM UTC
I hold on to you
do you hold on to me?
I clutch your shirt tightly
are you only clutching mine slightly?
I fall in love with you every day
do you feel the same?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Would you kiss me, like I’d kiss you?
Should I take my heart back?
Or should I stay on track
fighting for us to be connected
once again?
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 6:06 PM UTC
Our red string has is stretching too far.
You look into the world
wanting to be out there.
I want to cut it
let you go
I want you to be happy
but that won’t be with me
I snip the string
only for you to tie it back together
saying partners are commitment
while titles are not
As you smile at me,
I remember a love
I had forgot.
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 6:03 PM UTC
Do you love me like I love you?
You let your mind wander every night as you stare up at the stars,
Thinking of me.
School is the place where your heart yearns the most, for I cannot be there.
You sit during math picturing me sitting next to you, laughing at your jokes.
Opening your eyes,
Math class is still just you sitting next to some boy who isn’t me.
Do you adore me like I adore you?
Sitting at home, just looking at photos of me while you smile
Thoughts about me race around your head,
And you want to tell me, but keep them in.
Reasoning is I could never feel the same,
But I most likely do.
Whenever I sing you to sleep over the phone,
Sleeping is easier, but will refuse to admit it.
It’s your favorite sound,
My voice
The way it does anything for you.
Do you see me like I see you?
Every moment you see me is like the first,
How I enchanted you while playing the saxophone
And singing on Instagram.
You feel the skip of your heart every time we speak,
But never tell me.
Late at night your mind wanders to me whenever you feel desperate,
You’ll never tell me though.
Sometimes my freckles appear to be dirt,
But you say I’ll just be a muddy boy.
You love the random clusters, although I’ve never heard that.
One of the biggest things you will never tell me is
I’m the boy of your dreams,
The one you want to grow old with.
How much do you love me?
How much do I need to hold on or let go?
How much are you giving me?
How will you tell me all these things?
How can I make you love me?
I love you with all my heart, but how much do you love me?
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 2, 2017 at 10:14 PM UTC