reformedandrecovered - Hello Poetry

We were high like satellites As we roamed the back streets Chasing a stolen dream With holes in our stream We roved for miles Dead but alive Falling out like meteorites Splitting a half-life None of this was right Still boosters would ignite To disintegrate academy book And their hard-earned flights Down on The Palms We heard meteor psalms Ringing in our ears We couldn’t help but hum along Bad Cosmonauts Searching for life support There was no hope to be found At the local space port We were high like satellites Always like satellites The dust on our shoes speaks of a past life Lightyears from here

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Oct 22, 2021

Oct 22, 2021 at 6:53 PM UTC

Like Satellites

We were high like satellites As we roamed the back streets Chasing a stolen dream With holes in our stream We roved for miles Dead but alive Falling out like meteorites Splitting a half-life None of this was right Still boosters would ignite To disintegrate academy book And their hard-earned flights Down on The Palms We heard meteor psalms Ringing in our ears We couldn’t help but hum along Bad Cosmonauts Searching for life support There was no hope to be found At the local space port We were high like satellites Always like satellites The dust on our shoes speaks of a past life Lightyears from here

24

“In My Cup” Thursday The worst way Can’t sleep Can’t eat I’m spun Stuck in my cup Monday “Sick pay” A coin shy Sleep all day Throw up Stuck in my cup Wednesday Ends late My liquid illusion Mends pain I’m numbed Stuck in my cup Tuesday You say “Climb out” “Come down” “You’re starting to rust” Stuck in your cup Friday… Saturday… Sunday… Crushed Strung Stuck in my cup

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Oct 15, 2021

Oct 15, 2021 at 11:03 PM UTC

In My Cup

“In My Cup” Thursday The worst way Can’t sleep Can’t eat I’m spun Stuck in my cup Monday “Sick pay” A coin shy Sleep all day Throw up Stuck in my cup Wednesday Ends late My liquid illusion Mends pain I’m numbed Stuck in my cup Tuesday You say “Climb out” “Come down” “You’re starting to rust” Stuck in your cup Friday… Saturday… Sunday… Crushed Strung Stuck in my cup

31

Swallowed whole In a world of darkness Sleeping but exhausted Nothing can part this I want to be alone But I’m so lonely I ride the train aimless Spaced out Anxious I want to run away So I hide in my headphones This place hurts so much Just leave me alone!!! Just leave me alone!!! But I’m so afraid I long to be an all-star But I push the team away This music is so loud It drowns out my father All of his disapproval Why do I even bother??? I hate me They me All of these angels Bring demons around me They choose to battle They call me to fight But the greatest skirmish Rages behind my blue eyes There’s two me’s in me The one everybody knows The one nobody sees I dodged both of these I’m so lonely But I want to be alone Should I isolate further Or allow myself to be exposed?

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Oct 5, 2021

Oct 5, 2021 at 9:05 PM UTC

Shinji

Swallowed whole In a world of darkness Sleeping but exhausted Nothing can part this I want to be alone But I’m so lonely I ride the train aimless Spaced out Anxious I want to run away So I hide in my headphones This place hurts so much Just leave me alone!!! Just leave me alone!!! But I’m so afraid I long to be an all-star But I push the team away This music is so loud It drowns out my father All of his disapproval Why do I even bother??? I hate me They me All of these angels Bring demons around me They choose to battle They call me to fight But the greatest skirmish Rages behind my blue eyes There’s two me’s in me The one everybody knows The one nobody sees I dodged both of these I’m so lonely But I want to be alone Should I isolate further Or allow myself to be exposed?

37

This is where I find myself I can’t blame somebody else All I’ve done is all I’ve done The deed is signed and I’m the one Just me Just me I turn my back I flick my tongue Misspoken words Smoking guns How did I end up in this place Shaking hands Twisted face Just me Just me I cannot run I cannot hide What’s done is done What’s dead has died Another word Another line Can’t push this off The burden’s mine Just me Just me Just Me

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Sep 25, 2021

Sep 25, 2021 at 7:00 PM UTC

Just Me

This is where I find myself I can’t blame somebody else All I’ve done is all I’ve done The deed is signed and I’m the one Just me Just me I turn my back I flick my tongue Misspoken words Smoking guns How did I end up in this place Shaking hands Twisted face Just me Just me I cannot run I cannot hide What’s done is done What’s dead has died Another word Another line Can’t push this off The burden’s mine Just me Just me Just Me

27

Unleash another night to drink and drive I’ll forget my sorrows underneath the starlit sky This is how I get around From sunrise to sundown In this liquid life I rub my tightening eyes They’re red from resentment And black because I’m battled My pride is frazzled and rattled This is how I get around In my secondhand town Unleashed Another night I drink and drive Fear rides shotgun It’s always by my side A consistent copilot This is how I get around My liquified life It isn’t much of a sight

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Oct 3, 2019

Oct 3, 2019 at 5:18 PM UTC

“My Liquid Life”

Unleash another night to drink and drive I’ll forget my sorrows underneath the starlit sky This is how I get around From sunrise to sundown In this liquid life I rub my tightening eyes They’re red from resentment And black because I’m battled My pride is frazzled and rattled This is how I get around In my secondhand town Unleashed Another night I drink and drive Fear rides shotgun It’s always by my side A consistent copilot This is how I get around My liquified life It isn’t much of a sight

19

If I fall from grace I will hide my face From everyone who said the devil’s in my head Did they really care Or just play a part Which was never their’s From the very start? If I lose my faith I’ll seek a softer way Their tradition’s strong I cannot tarry long The standard’s far too high My head hangs so low With every aching breath The confusions grows Still I carry on Carry on Through all of this I Carry on Carry on In the darkest days When I fall apart The confusion frays The fibers of my heart Still I’m holding on Holding on Through all of this I am holding on Holding on And it’s not by might nor sight But something deep inside Everytime I want to hide Grace redirects my mind So I carry on Carry on Through all of this I carry on Carry on

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Sep 1, 2019

Sep 1, 2019 at 9:29 PM UTC

“If I Fall...” (Carry On)

If I fall from grace I will hide my face From everyone who said the devil’s in my head Did they really care Or just play a part Which was never their’s From the very start? If I lose my faith I’ll seek a softer way Their tradition’s strong I cannot tarry long The standard’s far too high My head hangs so low With every aching breath The confusions grows Still I carry on Carry on Through all of this I Carry on Carry on In the darkest days When I fall apart The confusion frays The fibers of my heart Still I’m holding on Holding on Through all of this I am holding on Holding on And it’s not by might nor sight But something deep inside Everytime I want to hide Grace redirects my mind So I carry on Carry on Through all of this I carry on Carry on

38

Now I come to the end of myself And my skins crawls off the walls Off the walls I bend and I break As I give and I take For a softer way For a yesterday But it never comes And if ever does Will I be ready? Will I be there? Because right now I’m nowhere But I’m everywhere And I float high in the thin air Right here Right there

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Aug 22, 2019

Aug 22, 2019 at 7:24 PM UTC

Contradiction: Me

Now I come to the end of myself And my skins crawls off the walls Off the walls I bend and I break As I give and I take For a softer way For a yesterday But it never comes And if ever does Will I be ready? Will I be there? Because right now I’m nowhere But I’m everywhere And I float high in the thin air Right here Right there

16

The “C” in Campbell Left my proud resolve in shambles As I made my rounds I took a deadly gamble With my witless hands I spent my plans On sleepless nights clouded with suicide One step from the edge The overpass fence Became my best defense and my closest friend I walked aimless Anxious under bruising skies The “C” in Campbell An edgeless dead-end town I sought my self-destruction But no self was found Only the burnt out and bored there Spun out on cold stares Hung out to air dry By the slow creek with graffiti eyes Broken hearts Muted lies We rummaged through stolen goods Sneaking an alibi The “C” in Campbell We thought we were so much bigger So much smarter But we could never deliver Not quite beautiful Not quite scorned We were insomniatic Thrilled with being half-born A buck shy of broke I was thinning away with every rhyme that I wrote Like a fevered poem I was skin and bones So alone The “C” in Campbell I dream of you washed in light Freed from that which harbors you The depravities of night I know your streets are not so clean I know your stars I know your amphetamines I know you too can be redeemed From mediocrity and self-pitty The underbelly of a forgotten city Skin and bones So alone The “C” in Campbell Believe Believe! There’s no other way out

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Jul 5, 2019

Jul 5, 2019 at 11:08 PM UTC

The “C” In Campbell

The “C” in Campbell Left my proud resolve in shambles As I made my rounds I took a deadly gamble With my witless hands I spent my plans On sleepless nights clouded with suicide One step from the edge The overpass fence Became my best defense and my closest friend I walked aimless Anxious under bruising skies The “C” in Campbell An edgeless dead-end town I sought my self-destruction But no self was found Only the burnt out and bored there Spun out on cold stares Hung out to air dry By the slow creek with graffiti eyes Broken hearts Muted lies We rummaged through stolen goods Sneaking an alibi The “C” in Campbell We thought we were so much bigger So much smarter But we could never deliver Not quite beautiful Not quite scorned We were insomniatic Thrilled with being half-born A buck shy of broke I was thinning away with every rhyme that I wrote Like a fevered poem I was skin and bones So alone The “C” in Campbell I dream of you washed in light Freed from that which harbors you The depravities of night I know your streets are not so clean I know your stars I know your amphetamines I know you too can be redeemed From mediocrity and self-pitty The underbelly of a forgotten city Skin and bones So alone The “C” in Campbell Believe Believe! There’s no other way out

53

“Shoot the Dead” (rough version) I settled for a while To catch my frozen breath Until I caught a strip of steel As you aimed to shoot your dead My eyes are growing tired From this constant stream of red Every time I come around the bend You recoil from shooting your dead With the calmest demeanor Like a seamstress stitching thread You never stop The hammer drops You go ahead and shoot your dead All they ever wanted Was a place to lay and rest But true to form You swoop and swarm To blankly shoot your dead You talk of brotherly affection As you hunt for stranger flesh Each life you take Is a bed to break As you stoop to shoot your dead “What can quell such bloodlust”? I ponder in my head While the leaders of the free men Quietly watch you shoot your dead “Renovation” Time and time again I’ve said “Is the only cure for genocide” Another acolyte shoots their dead You hide behind barbed wires Beating on your wireless chest You talk so tall But your reach is small Another critic shooting their dead I’ve spent most of my existence Living large on stolen bread A face among the slaves of hate Just a coward shooting the dead Father I hope and pray I bow to humbly beg Rip the skies Mend our lives Before we shoot every last one of our dead

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Feb 17, 2018

Feb 17, 2018 at 9:12 PM UTC

Shoot the Dead (Rough Version)

“Shoot the Dead” (rough version) I settled for a while To catch my frozen breath Until I caught a strip of steel As you aimed to shoot your dead My eyes are growing tired From this constant stream of red Every time I come around the bend You recoil from shooting your dead With the calmest demeanor Like a seamstress stitching thread You never stop The hammer drops You go ahead and shoot your dead All they ever wanted Was a place to lay and rest But true to form You swoop and swarm To blankly shoot your dead You talk of brotherly affection As you hunt for stranger flesh Each life you take Is a bed to break As you stoop to shoot your dead “What can quell such bloodlust”? I ponder in my head While the leaders of the free men Quietly watch you shoot your dead “Renovation” Time and time again I’ve said “Is the only cure for genocide” Another acolyte shoots their dead You hide behind barbed wires Beating on your wireless chest You talk so tall But your reach is small Another critic shooting their dead I’ve spent most of my existence Living large on stolen bread A face among the slaves of hate Just a coward shooting the dead Father I hope and pray I bow to humbly beg Rip the skies Mend our lives Before we shoot every last one of our dead

47

I see hope deferred Homeless in the dirt Choking on the violence Of our every stifled word I see hope deferred Hiding in the back row With no concept of worth A life spent in the shadows I see hope deferred Longing for eternal release Another **** up year Struggling in the streets I see hope deferred In every motherless child Hanging on to a bad cough Hearts sick with denial Can you hear hope deferred Calling out for assistance? Would you bridge the gap Or stand deterred by the distance? I know hope deferred Thick chains around the soul Constantly on the run From the noise between my skull I see hope deferred Traded in for hope revised Pull off your skeleton clothes Put on the cloak of a bride I see hope deferred Overcome by recovery I'm taken back by mercy And the love which covers me I know hope deferred Will be gradually displaced With the venom in our veins Through a sure movement of grace I see hope deferred Finally removed from this place The nations rest in God Sunlight softly warming their face

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Jul 30, 2017

Jul 30, 2017 at 8:19 PM UTC

Hope Deferred (Hope Revised)

I see hope deferred Homeless in the dirt Choking on the violence Of our every stifled word I see hope deferred Hiding in the back row With no concept of worth A life spent in the shadows I see hope deferred Longing for eternal release Another **** up year Struggling in the streets I see hope deferred In every motherless child Hanging on to a bad cough Hearts sick with denial Can you hear hope deferred Calling out for assistance? Would you bridge the gap Or stand deterred by the distance? I know hope deferred Thick chains around the soul Constantly on the run From the noise between my skull I see hope deferred Traded in for hope revised Pull off your skeleton clothes Put on the cloak of a bride I see hope deferred Overcome by recovery I'm taken back by mercy And the love which covers me I know hope deferred Will be gradually displaced With the venom in our veins Through a sure movement of grace I see hope deferred Finally removed from this place The nations rest in God Sunlight softly warming their face

40