I sometimes watch a setting sun in your honor.
Reminds me you favor orange and look best in red.
The mingling of those colors will always be you.
I cannot brush my copper hair and not think of you.
I cannot watch my cherried cigarette burn and not think of you.
I cannot wait for it to turn black, for that's when I miss you the most.
Burnt out and extinguished like the feelings I had for you.
Untangled and smoothed so we can both feel relief.
But when you've got skin warm like sand and a smile like the sun,
I can't help but wish for those colors to stay.
You're a beach I could lounge by for a lifetime.
I'm still getting over the idea of everyone loving it, too.
Tall girls like forests of green, small girls littering fields like streams.
All the other places I've yet to be, because I'm stuck at this beach.
Watching you set over and over again.
I don't want to leave because I'm not ready yet.
I'll let my hair tangle.
I'll let my smokes go stale.
I'll let my eyes be shut by the blinding light you are.
But I will keep you close in those sunsets.
Because god **** I've never seen someone burn so beautifully.
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 3:33 PM UTC
I don't know how it feels to have the color bleeding from my eyes
Seeing the fires through the highs
Having the chills and getting by
through the night just long enough to see straight again.
Stumble back to a tent, say a prayer, resounding amen
That you'll wake in the morning with some enlightenment
on the adventures last night and what you thought they meant.
I don't know how it feels to see a girl you love cry
Feeling sorry for herself and the downward demise
Of the love and the lullabies
that you used to hum to her through muffled sheets.
You kiss her face, stroke her hair and find your own peace.
Both drifting into dreams.
That heavy sleep.
I don't know how it feels to be left high and dry
Your directions discredited and thrown aside
You're back by the fire staring at the sky,
And I know it's been weeks
since you've really felt your heart beat.
Just stuck on repeat,
sitting in defeat.
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 9:08 PM UTC
Your eyes are my night sky
Bursting with energy emanating from a darker backdrop
Always twinkling in spats and shining with rhythm
Reflections flicking back and forth from sources near and far
I am weightless when I realize the vastness that consumes me
Your eyes are my ocean
Coming in and out like waves 'neath masts of ships much like your lashes
Breaking against the shoreline that is the sandy tan of your face
Mingling blues and greens that are never quite that simple
I am drowning when they hold my gaze like mermaids after sailors
Your eyes are my earth
Forest and browns that hold mystery and adventure
Wandering souls exploring with ease
Fresh air that soothes and warms
I am alive when I take it all in
No night sky will ever feel like a frightening open space
No ocean will ever feel like a terrifying abyss
No earth will ever feel like I have lost my way
I am not afraid because I have you
Your eyes are my home
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015 at 1:20 AM UTC
He's the color of my coffee and his lips are like ***
You've got a warmth like sand, a smile like the sun.
He runs me around, I'm too extactic; too dumb.
You keep me grounded, yet on my toes. Light; let me run.
He drowns me with waves; gritting teeth and splitting gums.
You help me grow, but remind me struggling is half the fun.
He is an ocean, once calm, I've turned violent and numb.
You're a beach I can sink my toes into, you give me life, and I've begun.
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 2:28 AM UTC
Hazel eyes fixated on your presence
They're always warmed when aimed in your direction
Strained from darting as soon as you take notice
Comforted when your voice calls them back home
Ears mangled by holes filled with metal are ringing
They're taunted with quiet words inaudible to another
Excited by the melodies you breathe
Soothed once your lips stop speaking and begin searching
Faded white lies partnered by benevolence
They're still cold in our reflection
Pained from us both knowing this
Ignored once we're again alone
Tears angled at the nostalgia of the beginning
They're haunted by the love they must smother
Ignited by the hard truth I had to receive
Moved once they're landing on a different heart string
Red hair and cold hands still craving your essence
They're becoming quite close with affection
Tangled from knuckle to root in a tight fist
Loosened when yours are finally shown
Fears spoken about our posture and sinning
They're flaunted by life and we love her
Delighted with all that we both believe
Strewed across the air along with the cigarettes we're smoking
Hazel eyes still in love with your presence
They're always here if you should turn in my direction
Strained from seeing our feelings fall from notice
Comforted when you still, after all this, give them a home
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 2:10 AM UTC
Cracking sunflower seeds between rigid teeth
Swigging beers through pursed lips
Inhaling menthol cigarettes with tired lungs and a tight rib cage
I'm left not knowing the difference between your exhales and sighs
I could say that times like these will brand my memory forever
Salt and shells will never taste the same
my teeth are left weak from clenching when you're in pain
Alcohol will never completely flow through
my inebriation is always accompanied by you
Cigarettes still consume me and nearly smother
as you're asking to *** one, and I'm lighting one off the other
I could tell you when small talks lead to deep moments littered with empty bags and condensation, that I am the happiest I have ever been.
I could tell you these things when there was us.
Picking and choosing which seeds to take from the same pile, fingers interlaced, losing count of drinks and who gave the last smoke to who...
But here we are and us is lost
our night ends when there are no more smokes to share
Menthol still burns through most of our air
our drunkeness calls for sleep and warm clothes
We'll both get sick and keep the other close
our appetites and muddled minds both soothed and still
Eating and conversation so easily a thrill
My mind is numb from how these moments keep recurring
I know you're hiding sighs inside of exhaling smoke
Us meant that I could soothe that stammered breathing and those bruised ribs, because us meant you curling into me while you slept through it all
Us meant that it didn't matter how much we'd had to drink, because us meant the other would be there to make it all seem okay
Us meant that we could eat together, and smoke together, and sleep together, and love each other, and kiss, and smile, and laugh, and just be.
Us meant a lot of things, but us isn't what we are anymore.
It's just we.
We're still passing off sunflower seeds and just barely touching hands
We're still drinking from the same beer bottle
We're still sharing cigarettes
We're still catching the other smiling in our direction for no reason at all.
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 12:41 AM UTC
It's the lines around your eyes when the sun is in the sky,
it's the bend of your back when you've been holding me too tight,
it's the holes in your pants, that cigarette in your hands,
it's the muted stance when you're silent..
I could write about you all day.
But I can no longer rhyme about you.
No more, can I peel back dog-eared memories to construct sentences in your honor.
I cannot put a pen to paper without first wanting to drive it into my skin to make amends with the aching I allowed into my bloodstream.
Because I let those little lines become what I breathe.
I didn't write you haikus because I'd speak them before we'd sleep.
I didn't send you letters because I'd trace them on your ribs while you'd dream.
I didn't leave you notes because I'd plant them on your lips when you'd wake.
I only wish that these personal journals would have made you stay.
I am your poem.
When your name leaves my mouth I am fluent in love.
I hope one day you may find me folded and forgotten in your junk drawer and decide you want me to start writing again.
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 3:19 AM UTC
This is not a poem
It's a memory fleeting
I can't control this and
it's just eating and eating
away at my skin
and my bones
and my blood is boiling,
hot to the touch as you walk away from me.
Letting go, I've never iced over so fast.
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 6:02 PM UTC
I believe in another life.
Something different than this.
Something more.
"We're beyond this", they say. "We're so much better than this."
But for what?
Go to school, get a job, make up a home and a spouse and a life..
But for what?
It all dies.
We all die.
We're all burdened in this life.
I believe in another way.
Something a lot like this.
But nothing more.
"I can't take this", we say. "I wanna end all this."
But for what?
I don't wanna die.
But I'm going to die.
I am bound by this life.
I believe in another me.
Maybe one that's doing a lot better somewhere else.
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 11:01 PM UTC
Your body will never be another notch in my belt.
Your lips are not on a list
with others I've kissed.
And this,
is bliss.
But only a temporary fix.
Because you still leave in the morning, but only after brushing that wisp
of hair from my eyes. Once I see you, a kiss
is planted on my forehead with "love" resonating in the air where your lips
dared to speak it. And I miss
you before you've closed the door, because remnants of you are on my wrists
where you wrote me sonnets as you held me the night before. We twist
and turn into each other, hands intertwined so tight we nearly draw fists.
Fingers trailing back and forth and I wish
I could tell you how much those moments mean, and how I felt
the first time you looked at me with that gaze and held
it as you loved me. Or was I just a hollow shell
or a momentary cell,
or even a wishing well,
for you to find the man you know you could be? I'd go through hell
just to sigh and say that you're not bad, you're not nothing, you're not.. well,
you're not all the wretched things she's tried to sell
as your label.. as the notch in her belt.
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 2:40 AM UTC