redacted - Hello Poetry

Morning sun, pale gold, clearly skied, Blinded me oh so sweetly. You stole my breath Without so much as a breath in return. My eyes danced and swam, Glazed in the pale glow As gold dust danced across my skin. Breath pooling and curling around My nose, to fade out into Oblivion Encountered stars above my head Our star-crossed romance. Stars danced upon my tears Like rude stardrops The tears, not knowing If their parents were glee or misery ******* tears betrayed me again To your soft words. Alas! This world is too harsh for me. Strike me down again, hot iron. Steel, steal, iron's cherry hot, white. So blindingly white. Much like the snow that dazzled me Glittering like lost dust-diamonds Stars decorated the trees Glittering in the forever-twilight The blackest ice dusted the cold walk However gold Painted the clouds without abandon Radiating long rosy fingers Speckled with stars Painted in pale gold Again, lost in a swirl and blur Of pale gold, a honey snow drop In the beginning, an annual event Where bottled stars are served and Drunk, silly to our heads and our Hearts. All amber and pale gold. The rush, embrace. The dizzy effect, of staring down, pondering A fate, to disappear into oblivion Leaving only a quaff of stardust in our wake. We court disaster and dance, strafing one another Together. Among the pale gold and blinded. Havock among an Eternity.

0

Jan 24, 2013

Jan 24, 2013 at 1:09 AM UTC

Havock Among

Morning sun, pale gold, clearly skied, Blinded me oh so sweetly. You stole my breath Without so much as a breath in return. My eyes danced and swam, Glazed in the pale glow As gold dust danced across my skin. Breath pooling and curling around My nose, to fade out into Oblivion Encountered stars above my head Our star-crossed romance. Stars danced upon my tears Like rude stardrops The tears, not knowing If their parents were glee or misery ******* tears betrayed me again To your soft words. Alas! This world is too harsh for me. Strike me down again, hot iron. Steel, steal, iron's cherry hot, white. So blindingly white. Much like the snow that dazzled me Glittering like lost dust-diamonds Stars decorated the trees Glittering in the forever-twilight The blackest ice dusted the cold walk However gold Painted the clouds without abandon Radiating long rosy fingers Speckled with stars Painted in pale gold Again, lost in a swirl and blur Of pale gold, a honey snow drop In the beginning, an annual event Where bottled stars are served and Drunk, silly to our heads and our Hearts. All amber and pale gold. The rush, embrace. The dizzy effect, of staring down, pondering A fate, to disappear into oblivion Leaving only a quaff of stardust in our wake. We court disaster and dance, strafing one another Together. Among the pale gold and blinded. Havock among an Eternity.

47

Confusion, abusing underused. Apathy is only a mean to an end and it has served me well in the past. Like a particularly sharp tool, chosen with care, to sculpt and mold the clay between my fingers into something presentable for the world. Who are they to judge what I make, who am I to judge what my fingers shape? A stoic face outlooks the world shaped out of clay and sharp edges contrasting on the face just below the meniscus, turns to soft and gritty emotions boiling down the surface of what used to be a smoothly carved face.

0

Dec 2, 2012

Dec 2, 2012 at 3:39 AM UTC

Pin-tool.

Confusion, abusing underused. Apathy is only a mean to an end and it has served me well in the past. Like a particularly sharp tool, chosen with care, to sculpt and mold the clay between my fingers into something presentable for the world. Who are they to judge what I make, who am I to judge what my fingers shape? A stoic face outlooks the world shaped out of clay and sharp edges contrasting on the face just below the meniscus, turns to soft and gritty emotions boiling down the surface of what used to be a smoothly carved face.

18

Do they linger, like spider-webs in your hair, silky and smooth, yet dark and dour? The memories dull like a bright silver blade crescent like the moon does dull too Sharp is your tongue like the cry of a Mocking Bird mimicking the sounds of others as if for help You too are these things never staying eternal like that which sing like the Mocking Bird dull like the moon and linger like the spider-web. Do they linger?

0

Jan 21, 2011

Jan 21, 2011 at 5:51 PM UTC

Do They Linger?

Do they linger, like spider-webs in your hair, silky and smooth, yet dark and dour? The memories dull like a bright silver blade crescent like the moon does dull too Sharp is your tongue like the cry of a Mocking Bird mimicking the sounds of others as if for help You too are these things never staying eternal like that which sing like the Mocking Bird dull like the moon and linger like the spider-web. Do they linger?

19

... I feel jealous, in a way. I feel like I have to get this off my chest, even if it has been so blatantly obvious the ENTIRE time I've known you... I've always liked you; more or less, I've loved you, Jack. I always admired you, and no matter how much I try, I can never stop. I feel like I'm just an eternally smoldering, nearly put out ember; I burn brighter on occasion, but the rest, it's come to pass as a dull, aching pain in my chest. I've tried to bury it down and away with Dan, and I was indeed, happy for a time. It can just never last, unfortunately; if it had, I would never dream of disclosing this to you. You don't know how many times I lay in bed, thinking about how different things would have been if things never fell down and apart. Most nights, I keep thinking that you fell in love with the wrong Lillian. I feel like I have to prove myself to you at every step I take, trying to make myself valid in your eyes, but it seems like all my attempts are in vain. You told me, that if I really loved something, I would let it go. You basically wrenched my hand away, and unfortunately, it feels like I still have a single thread of your shirt in my fingers, twined tangled so deep that the string may never come loose. It kills me, as I must be faithful to Dan, and see you fall in love with this engaged girl, it just burns me up so much in jealousy, because I see you in love with some other girl named Lillian and I just can't help but wish that was me, wish I was that girl, wish I had your love. I don't want to **** up, and I want to be perfect in your eyes, and it stings something fierce when I'm yelled at by you. I feel like I can't fully devote my heart to someone, if another has a piece hidden somewhere in history, and this is true. I just... I just can't move on. Please, I beg of you; keep this to yourself, don't speak to-- I feel like I’m almost obsessed with you. And... May I say, it doesn’t feel nice.

0

Dec 31, 2010

Dec 31, 2010 at 10:35 PM UTC

Sick of Jealous

... I feel jealous, in a way. I feel like I have to get this off my chest, even if it has been so blatantly obvious the ENTIRE time I've known you... I've always liked you; more or less, I've loved you, Jack. I always admired you, and no matter how much I try, I can never stop. I feel like I'm just an eternally smoldering, nearly put out ember; I burn brighter on occasion, but the rest, it's come to pass as a dull, aching pain in my chest. I've tried to bury it down and away with Dan, and I was indeed, happy for a time. It can just never last, unfortunately; if it had, I would never dream of disclosing this to you. You don't know how many times I lay in bed, thinking about how different things would have been if things never fell down and apart. Most nights, I keep thinking that you fell in love with the wrong Lillian. I feel like I have to prove myself to you at every step I take, trying to make myself valid in your eyes, but it seems like all my attempts are in vain. You told me, that if I really loved something, I would let it go. You basically wrenched my hand away, and unfortunately, it feels like I still have a single thread of your shirt in my fingers, twined tangled so deep that the string may never come loose. It kills me, as I must be faithful to Dan, and see you fall in love with this engaged girl, it just burns me up so much in jealousy, because I see you in love with some other girl named Lillian and I just can't help but wish that was me, wish I was that girl, wish I had your love. I don't want to **** up, and I want to be perfect in your eyes, and it stings something fierce when I'm yelled at by you. I feel like I can't fully devote my heart to someone, if another has a piece hidden somewhere in history, and this is true. I just... I just can't move on. Please, I beg of you; keep this to yourself, don't speak to-- I feel like I’m almost obsessed with you. And... May I say, it doesn’t feel nice.

49

I just can’t continue to feel bottled up like this anymore. I finally thought I was over you, and I finally realized things will never work out; I’m doomed either way I go, and both ways hurt to know that she won... she won... because I messed up I wasn’t thinking I was selfish now when you date this girl, this girl who has two friends who want nothing more than to just help her and be there for her to the end of time, you realize how much that hurts? How much it stings? How much it just wants to make me scream rip out my hair and just look up to see you walk away from me walk away, walk away, that smile never leaving my dreams, the funny odd faces you pull never leaving my memories, and even now, as I think of them, I try to laugh, defeated, through the tears. That string’s become wrapped tightly now restricting my blood flow, and turning my finger purple. Purple such an ugly color I can’t help but adore. I emulate you to no end, trying to appear attractive to you in some way I don’t know if I want you, I just know that I want you to be mine. Getting close to you by talking simply got me addicted again; thirsty for the feeling of having you around. I want to be your friend, I want to be your lover, I want to be what you want me to be. I want to be perfect, I need to be perfect.

0

Dec 31, 2010

Dec 31, 2010 at 10:29 PM UTC

Perfect

I just can’t continue to feel bottled up like this anymore. I finally thought I was over you, and I finally realized things will never work out; I’m doomed either way I go, and both ways hurt to know that she won... she won... because I messed up I wasn’t thinking I was selfish now when you date this girl, this girl who has two friends who want nothing more than to just help her and be there for her to the end of time, you realize how much that hurts? How much it stings? How much it just wants to make me scream rip out my hair and just look up to see you walk away from me walk away, walk away, that smile never leaving my dreams, the funny odd faces you pull never leaving my memories, and even now, as I think of them, I try to laugh, defeated, through the tears. That string’s become wrapped tightly now restricting my blood flow, and turning my finger purple. Purple such an ugly color I can’t help but adore. I emulate you to no end, trying to appear attractive to you in some way I don’t know if I want you, I just know that I want you to be mine. Getting close to you by talking simply got me addicted again; thirsty for the feeling of having you around. I want to be your friend, I want to be your lover, I want to be what you want me to be. I want to be perfect, I need to be perfect.

42

This is just to say I have smashed Jack’s computer that was on his desk and which he probably needed for class Forgive me it was so fun to smash so messy and so crunchy

0

Dec 31, 2010

Dec 31, 2010 at 10:22 PM UTC

This Is Just To Say

This is just to say I have smashed Jack’s computer that was on his desk and which he probably needed for class Forgive me it was so fun to smash so messy and so crunchy

13

You say you want to be with me, To hold me, and show me things I’ve never experienced. To buy me the Valentines I’ve never gotten, To kiss me the way no one else has. You say you want to come here, To visit me in the warm sun, To hug me out on the porch, Or to take naps with me in my cool couch. You say you want to love me, But no one else has A broken soul, lost and alone. A little girl, out on her own. You say that you want me to be happy, Well **** that doesn’t take much. Just your smile, or maybe your laugh Makes me happy just the same.

0

Dec 31, 2010

Dec 31, 2010 at 10:21 PM UTC

You Say

You say you want to be with me, To hold me, and show me things I’ve never experienced. To buy me the Valentines I’ve never gotten, To kiss me the way no one else has. You say you want to come here, To visit me in the warm sun, To hug me out on the porch, Or to take naps with me in my cool couch. You say you want to love me, But no one else has A broken soul, lost and alone. A little girl, out on her own. You say that you want me to be happy, Well **** that doesn’t take much. Just your smile, or maybe your laugh Makes me happy just the same.

16

Spoiled and rotten, to the core something like this should be forgotten I never acted like this before Spoiled, and bratty ***** this, I'm lazy The comments, snide and catty I ******* love you, do you think I'm crazy?

0

Dec 31, 2010

Dec 31, 2010 at 10:16 PM UTC

Spoiled

Spoiled and rotten, to the core something like this should be forgotten I never acted like this before Spoiled, and bratty ***** this, I'm lazy The comments, snide and catty I ******* love you, do you think I'm crazy?

8