rebel-heart
I'm born and raised in The Netherlands, I have Autism and Dyslexia so you can say I see the world trough different set of eyes. I started writing since a year, my head is filled with idea's but it is hard for me to translate this onto paper. / / Writing for me is a way to escape the reality but also a way to create a new world. My dream is to write a book one day filled with the adventures that are being written in my head everyday.
*I always wanted to be free
Free to fly away from here
Away from the emptiness
The loneliness which fills my heart
All I can do is wait
Wait till this faithful day
The day I become a Butterfly
But you had to come along
You where the reason for me to stay
To fill my heart with joy and happiness
The days of sadness seems so far away
Hand in hand we challenge the world
A future which smiles down upon us
But deep down I know
The wings inside me must unfold
May it not be today
May it not be tomorrow
I know you will look up into the sky
And watch me unfold my wings
Whispering me goodbye
On the day I became a butterfly*
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 3:48 AM UTC
*We came home last summer
To find nothing will ever be the same again
To cease this pain
I shred my heart to pieces and spread my love around
Knowing it will all be in vain
You look like you’re in another world
In my darkest hour I have to fight
Knowing that there is nothing left for me to gain
The morning has come trough the sunlight
You’re awake but still not here
I wish that it was still last night
It’s the morning I knew I do fear
I used to be your biggest fan
I will always love you my dear
But now it is summer blues all over again*
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 3:44 AM UTC
*The fire within you
The purest form of what love means to me
Together balancing on this razor thing line
Like it was meant to be
It fuels the heart to know that you are mine
You tainted my purest desire
Corrupting every part of my soul
It’s supernatural
Like a ray of light shining bright
You are something else, extraterrestrial
This love can only last a lifetime
Facing these fearful odds
I lost my chance to make you mine
Tears of regret fall upon your grave
The inevitable space between us
Crying on the kitchen floor
Don’t go away don’t go away
Give me the strength to move on
But deep inside of me the fire stays
Telling me that my heart must go on
Like ashes to the wind
I know somewhere deep in the universe
You will be watching over me
In the end we are all stardust of time
We are all extraterrestrial
The fire within me was lit by you
Every night in my dreams
Far across and far away
You will come and show me how to keep this fire on
I wake up crying begging you to stay
I don’t want to be alone
I wish you would be here
The fire almost goes out
It’s the emptiness which I fear
But you will be there inside my heart
Wherever you are, near or far
The fire will always be in my heart
When I grow up old and all alone
The fire you showed me
Is enough for me to face the world head on*
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 2:16 PM UTC
*When you want something
When you know it is within reach
Like water and bread within an inch of the bars of your jail
A jail which keeps you as only prisoner
Life is joy
Life is fair
Life isn’t fair
Life is cruel
To know your limits
To know you will never be able to surpass them
To know that you will never be accepted
It’s eating me up inside
Everyday
Every week
Every year
Until the day I die
I want to be a part of every day’s course
I want to work I want to celebrate
I want to try I want to fail
I want to live
But the mind cannot keep up
It tires the body to the very core
To see everyone walking past me
Leaving me behind
It makes me sad
It makes me want to cry
But I can’t
If I could express these feelings of mine
Being a prisoner of your own mind
To know and to experience
I wish I was just ignorant and dumb
Being smart but never being able to use it
Even a prisoner needs to move forward
A life without a goal isn’t worth living
I don’t condemn my life
I just wished there would be someone who understands
I know that I will be a prisoner for life
But it would mean so much
If there would be someone
Who would reach out to me
Because it’s just within reach
The water and bread
In this lonely prison
Within my mind*
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 2:01 PM UTC
*Deep down in my rebel heart
I find this child smiling at me
Telling me to keep walking this line
Grabbing my arm and pulling me trough
Tough love this child knew it from the start
But he’s telling me to keep trying
Because this is how it’s suppose to be
When we all find the child inside of us
We want to regain this ignorance and innocence we once had
To fully understand that smile, the smile of the bliss we used to live in
Now I’m walking this life satisfied
And it’s all thanks to that child deep down
In my rebel heart*
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 1:28 PM UTC
In the moonlight near the river
Are we standing with our feet in the water
While we look at each other we shiver
Our hands tangled together
Like it was just yesterday
That we decided to run away forever
Our love was forbidden
But our future was not forsaken
Love should never be hidden
We knew the danger of the road we had taken
We had to struggle we had to fight
They told us that our love was nothing more and nothing less
Then dead
But we held on the flickering truth
Now there is no more need to hide
Look at us standing here in the sunshine
Our love makes it a wonderful life
To know that every part of you is mine
We can laugh and we can cry
Because we are in love in this time
It was worth it to find our own little place
Far away from home
In the sunshine near the river
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 1:24 PM UTC
*In this world where music fills the sky
Clouds are gathering like a lullaby
It’s raining purple rain
Purple rain
Singing our prince to sleep
Lying in a bed of roses
Silently on his cheek
The last words which flew from his lips
Floating on the wind of change
With one shake of his hips
It rains purple rain
up he goes
Into the sky he goes
The sky which is filled with doves
And when these doves cry
It is sure to rain
Purple rain*
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 13, 2016 at 1:17 PM UTC
Brother where are you now
Where is the shadow I long for
Please let me put my hands around you once more
If I just could keep you from fading
For this is our end brother
All your love inside of me faded
For burning your dreams or worse I couldn’t bother
I failed
You got swept away
While I got left behind crying myself to sleep
These burning dreams are here to stay
Because of the promises I didn’t keep
When everything crumbles around me
I’m walking alone and no one seems to care
I look into the mirror and see everything faded
Brother why don’t you say nothing at all
now I know I truly failed
I let you fall into the blades
When it all becomes reality
My sadness will reign until everything fades
It wasn’t just my fantasy
I’m about to lose my mind
Please I want to hold you once more
But when I search for you it is only pain I find
All by myself since you have faded
And all this hatred that I deserve
I have broken the promise and failed
While is it that I’m still breathing
Is it true that I walk this pitiful life being unnoticed
Just when these feelings of mine betrayed me
He found me and noticed
That his shadow would complete me
Even if you are faded
And even when I terrible failed
Lingering hope is reaching out to me
Saying it isn’t over till it’s over
Brother this is where it ends for you and me
I now know we both have made mistakes
It is time for me to move on and let it be
Even when you faded
And even when I failed
He was the one for me
and the only one who stayed
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 2:54 AM UTC
*Wandering this earth all alone
Looking for the one place I could call home
Travelling trough the wards of time
Escaping from what I have become
Running around trough crowded places
One night stands in a far of lands
And all I see are their faces
Is there someone out there hearing me cry
I have changed my mind
Incompatible is what I’m
There is no soulmate out there for me to find
And here I’m back again
At the place where I traded my love for fame
Is it wrong for someone longing to be hold
All I can do is crying tears of shame
Should had loved you without being told
Now I know why I’m on my own
I came back
Just to find
I couldn’t turn back time
This is my curse this is my life
Drowning in a world of pleasure
And walking this path being alone
No soulmate for me to treasure*
Jul 6, 2016
Jul 6, 2016 at 6:10 PM UTC
To be different is what defines our character
Is it wrong to be ourself
Is it a crime to grow up living up to what you believe
Where lies our Joan of arc who will burn for our own desires
It makes all the difference in the world to be different
If we would all be the same, our individual would die just like the ashes of those who have fallen for our freedom
Never give up being different
Jul 6, 2016
Jul 6, 2016 at 1:50 PM UTC