so it seems
as if
death is
slowly trying to
acquaint with all who i know
just to get to me
and i've gotta tell ya
he's quite a sneaky fellow
as he sits there waiting for someone new
but i wonder if he just gets lonely
maybe that's why he takes all of my
friends
i guess that's selfish
but don't we all get lonely?
i was thinking i should join him
maybe he won't be so sad
and neither will i
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 8, 2014 at 9:53 AM UTC
we sat in the Field where i first saw You,
the one where i'd converse with You
and dream of when the stars came out.
the one that was in purest form.
(that was after we'd stopped talking)
remember when
i'd started taking a new route because
You'd made me angry that one day that
You had made me say goodbye, and then followed by making it rain
when You know how much thunder and lightning scares me.
so i took a detour down south
and i've come to tell You that demons now linger in my head.
telling me that "bad" isn't always painful, and can be pleasure.
and i sat there wondering where You were to protect me from the words
"come on it'll be fun" or "you know you want to".
and i'd hoped that You'd come find me on the days
that they made me do things i never hoped to do,
but they said it'd make me happy.
it did give pleasure, for awhile.
it seemed to make them happier than it had made me, though.
and i'd hoped to at least receive some sort of postcard from You
telling me that You were sorry and You wanted me to come back,
even though they told me that that only caused pain
as they poured me another drink.
they took me farther south, and i'd felt myself sinking faster than a stone.
even though it was really dark, the stars in the south were too scared to come out.
i too, was scared.
they told me to not be scared but that was an impossible request.
they had then said if i didn't want pleasure that they'd give me pain.
so i pushed away, and i ran from them.
i ran for miles hoping to find the Field or You, but it was too dark.
i needed You and i didn't think You'd hear me
that was until i saw the stars shining again
and i knew You were there waiting for me.
it was bliss.
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 8:14 PM UTC
you
you are quite timid, my dear.
words so soft-spoken
that the wind must stop
to catch you fears.
*i. i know you
sit in the front pew of the church,
yet you don't sing.*
why does your hair cover your eyes,
and your head gloom so low?
why does your presence
not glow?
*ii. i know you
know every answer,
but you don't say a thing.*
you
you my dear, are more than
skin covering bones.
you mustn't let your temple
be overthrown my sticks and stones.
*iii. i know you
contrast every human being.*
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 8:18 PM UTC
he who is nostalgia
violates the mind,
as loneliness bellows of
laughter in her
face.
dense and hollow
as she sleeps with sorrow,
"he
he
he"
"say it."
he drenches
heavy, hostile, heartless
gripping thoughts
that drown her mind,
impossible to escape.
dense and hollow
nightmares of sorrow,
"he was
he did
he is"
"say IT."
reassuring, repeating, reciting
to her
the words of past that fuel him.
he gleams of evil
as he says,
"don't worry, at least i'll never leave you."
dense and hollow,
awoken and filled with sorrow,
"monster"
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 8:17 PM UTC
you were the coffee spilt on my
sunday paper.
crossword unfinished
and fresh ink smeared,
as i rushed down to
main street.
*(DOWN 4. twelve letter word,
a common cause of car accidents,
"I N T O X I C A T I O N")*
you had me
pondering the question
why speed must be limited
on days like this
as i rushed down to
main street.
*(ACROSS 19. five letter word,
to operate and control the direction and speed of a motor vehicle,
"D R I V E")*
your body lied so innocently
and so fragile
as it caressed the dark pathway, --you spirit was bright enough to see at 2 am.--
trying your best to inhale life
with all that you desired on
main street.
but the air was too heavy to breathe.
*(ACROSS 12. five letter word,
living is to life, as dying is to _______,
"D E A T H")*
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 8:16 PM UTC
"it'll be quick, just count to three."
i sit drenched in nostalgia,
(also known as "Polo Blue")
afloat in thoughts.
and you told me not to panic
because if you panic,
you drown.
"one."
most days i'd sit on the roof wanting to scream,
and sometimes i'd want to jump off.
but i did neither because i knew you wouldn't come rushing
to kiss all that was hurt.
(like that one time i scabbed my knee at aunt norma's, do you remember?)
so instead i sat there wishing to see you hang
the christmas lights like you did
every year, the day after thanksgiving.
"two."
i'd be tempted by your ties still
hanging in your closet that still smell like you.
but i knew you'd tell me to quit playing with them,
(like when i was five, do you remember that?)
because you'd need them for work the next day.
so i left them alone hoping to be able to
watch you tie your tie once more and
actually learn to tie one myself.
"three."
i'd throw myself into the pool,
hoping the rules of buoyancy wouldn't apply.
but i keep floating above, just like you said i would.
(remember me being so scared to do that?)
i don't even panic anymore.
you taught me well,
but not well enough.
because it isn't panic that is drowning me.
it's the sea of thoughts that are
sinking me slowly, but surely.
i've counted to three and it's not quick enough.
so i continue to recount because
what you always said was true.
and i hope what you say is true,
because i keep hoping to hear you say,
"it'll be quick, just count to three."
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 12:05 AM UTC
A call for help
The drugs in her system that were once in a bottle,
Slowly dissolving.
The significant amount of fear.
Yet. I find the will to say, “Have no fear.”
The spark in her swollen eyes start to fade.
“It was just for the rush” she whispers.
Her pale hands grew colder by the second.
Her boney body shakes.
The light from help glares like chasing Christmas lights in the winter.
The doctors waltz in.
She’s put into the hands of people who do not know.
“It’s just for the rush, she whispers in weakness.
They don’t hear her. For they do not know.
She grips my wrist slightly.
Power was limited in her.
“Was it enough? She sobs.
They don’t know. They don’t know.
The feeling of life rushes through her once more.
“It was just for the rush.”
The sound of death fills the atmosphere.
Doctor’s lips move.
Sound comes out, but I can’t seem to catch it.
I stare at her and I know.
The moonlight beams through the window onto the rolling crystals down my face.
The doctors did not know.
They didn’t know it was just for a rush.
To feel acceptable. Just once.
To feel free from the piercing cries, and words said to her implanted into her brain.
From pressure to be just like them.
From the laughter replaying over and over like a broken record.
From scars marked into her skin.
They didn’t know her story.
They didn’t know that this isn’t what she wanted.
“It was just for the rush.”
Jul 20, 2013
Jul 20, 2013 at 12:54 AM UTC
She woke without the intention of rain.
She goes to wait for him. Patiently.
But the feeling isn’t right.
She sat in the colorless fields and waited.
A pale bird passed, and sang an un-sung melody.
She questioned the tiny creature, “Have you seen my sunshine?”
The tiny bird sputtered out, “You must abandon this place, for there will be a flood.”
Without understanding, she walks. Leaving her footprints in the earth.
The thunder roared at her with his laugh.
She asks for the sunshine.
Thunder did not reply.
The sun beams! Oh it beams!
But oh so weakly.
“Sunshine!” She calls out.
“Sunshine!” she echoes.
“Sunshine, Oh Sunshine. Where do you stand?” she sobbed.
In reply he says, “I must pass on little one. But do not worry,
for you will see me again.”
“Don’t go! Don’t settle for this. Please, please.” Her plea was un-audible.
The wind stole her mind, leaving it empty.
The thunder took her heart, pounding it as hard as possible.
The laughing struck that vile feeling.
And as for the rain,
Oh the rain falls and drowns the world.
For she doesn’t dream again as it falls down her face.
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 5:31 PM UTC
You ask if my hands are
Cold.
They’re still warm.
I’m warm blooded.
I’m warm hearted.
Your hands are now on my
Body.
Your fingers are entwined into my veins
Your solid eyes are ice
Seeping through my wincing soul.
You’re all upon my
Skin.
I run away
To a place never before
Where my crescent moon is gone
And the sun doesn’t stay.
I find a way
back to common
Ground
But my hands are cold.
You’re cold blooded.
You’re cold hearted.
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 11, 2013 at 5:27 PM UTC