The ghost that gnaws at my thoughts
returns again—
a dark restlessness,
gloomy like a deep river
that feels as if it could drown me.
Departure. Being left behind.
The ghost of the mind
chewing through every night.
The comfort that once existed,
the warmth that once was there,
has turned into something unfamiliar—
staring back at me
like a stranger to what has happened.
I thought it would end there—
someone’s leaving
piercing me sharply.
All the memories we created
suddenly faded
along with the tears that fell.
Ash carried away by the wind
bears that departure and its pain.
It will never return,
even if the sun rises again.
Finding someone
who brought my life back to me—
a blessing I once received.
In the middle of the crowded world,
I found a figure
who became my comfort,
my place to return to.
Yet the ghost keeps whispering,
“How will you be left again?”
Old wounds still gnaw at me.
Anxiety becomes the ghost—
that everyone will leave me alone.
Standing by myself,
facing a ghost that grows larger.
My greatest nightmare—
being left
by the only treasure I have left.
And if that ghost of the mind
truly comes to life again,
then who
will I have to hold on to?
Feb 5
Feb 5, 2026 at 6:21 AM UTC
The night that once pierced so sharply
slowly turned into warmth
when the feelings between us
finally broke through.
When everything had been tightly hidden,
my defenses collapsed that night—
beneath the way you looked at me.
Is this what it truly feels like
to be loved
with a love that is equal?
I will never forget
the longing that embraced itself,
the sweetness of the world in that moment.
Fingers intertwined,
finding the shape of home
in the middle of the crowd—
my safest place
in the entire world.
The love I had always longed for.
Once, we were us.
And for now,
that is enough to remember
for all the days that follow.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 8:57 PM UTC
Black ink keeps moving across a white page,
concealing colors and stories within it.
Hidden between the lines,
I call his name a hundred times
in different forms.
I hope that one day he will recognize himself in it—
even if it feels like searching for sugar among salt,
like foam dissolving into the sea.
I write about him to remember,
for a moment—
or for forever.
Seasons change, filled with blooming flowers,
hoping to be welcomed by that smile.
For forever, not just for a while.
Can my gaze reach him?
Be present in every passing second,
the way he exists, subtly,
within all my forms—
there,
in the curve of a cheek
shaped into a smile.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 8:53 PM UTC
When eyes met eyes,
I wondered who could possibly own such beautiful ones.
In that moment, I realized
I had fallen in love.
In my silence, I entrust my longing.
This is about a feeling I write,
not knowing how it will end.
Let them call it a curse
for now, I am truly cursed by you.
About him who makes me laugh.
About him who makes me smile like a fool.
About him who willingly spends his time with me.
The one I admired in high school.
The one who showed me what youth truly feels like.
The one who made me understand what love means.
Like a fish that knows how to swim,
yet when I look into his eyes,
I am nothing but a fish
who forgets how to breathe underwater.
And if that means I will drown,
then let me drown
I would gladly sink into your warmth.
Millions of seconds pass,
and without realizing it,
I spend my days just looking at you.
A signal connected without direction,
let us get lost in this pleasure.
It feels celebrated his happiness
carried away by sparks spreading inside my soul.
He is the one who makes me feel all of this.
Beautiful-
even my words are not enough to describe it.
Watching me from afar,
the smile I long for in every laugh of yours.
I accept that I am not the first in your heart,
but let me tell you
you will always be the first in mine.
The strange boy I adore.
The man who plants longing in every one of my nights.
The scent of you imprinted clearly in my senses.
The one who makes me want to slow down time
just to stay a little longer.
Too many similarities,
pulling me deeper and deeper,
making me think we will end up together,
even though we do not know the ending.
The sound of your voice
when you call my name
say my name a hundred times in your prayers
so we may be together.
Let me enjoy the sound
that softly calls my name.
That gentle touch back then
such a sweet, addictive trap.
I will hold tightly to these fragments of memories,
letting you live forever in millions of my works.
If the world could turn back time
to the days with you,
I would repeat them millions of times
even thousands
as long as it is with you.
I will be the first to celebrate you,
happy just to see you smile.
Stay healthy.
Stay happy for as long as life allows.
Let destiny decide the next chapter of our story.
I am grateful
to have known you.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 8:40 PM UTC