I wasn't expecting any of this
I didn't plan to end up here
with you
We met in the new usual way
I never thought we'd come to this
I hoped and wished and even quietly prayed
that someday I could feel this way
It's been so long
since I could even think the words I long to say
But I'm Almost There
You just don't know what you do
all those time I just can't stop staring at you
Do you even notice that you take my breath away
While you keep my feet on the ground
I'm floating in mid air
Standing still; I'm dancing for joy
Tride and true I'm following you
You and I--
I can't even define
It's something powerful--
something divine
I'm Almost There
I play a part, scene by scene
day by day
You tear my mask from my face
The girl you see is full of grace
She has always been there under the surface
my walls come crashing down with your soft, feathery touch
Lying in your arms--
It's almost too much
I sing the same songs over and over again
It all becomes new
when you ask me to sing
Just for you
I feel it coming
Where we could go
What we could do
It all leads back to me and you
I'm Almost There
Waiting for you to show me the way to being yours
I want to know beyond all words
that it's more than true
I'm Almost There
I'm not afraid anymore
If you tell me I will not wait one minute more
I'm Almost There
Where are you?
Are you here with me?
Waiting for the moment to say what you feel
What you think beyond all question and all doubt
We are simply beautiful together
And together beautifully simple
It's that what it's all about?
I'm Almost There
I close my eyes--
The time is due
I love you
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 9:28 PM UTC
The way to win a race
You have to start somewhere
There has to be somewhere to begin
There may be checkpoints along the way
Hurdles and Speed Bumps
Granted--
No one said it would ever be easy
No one ever promised that you wouldn't sweat But shouldn't everyone at least have a cheering section?
Someone to chant your name
People to sing your praises
In the end
All
that
really
matters
is
that
you
won
your
own
race
No matter who kept moving the finish line.
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 9:22 PM UTC
Morning:
Wake up
Lather up
Wash off the nightmares
Put on my mask to hide the ugly underneath
Everyone loves your pretty face
Have to show them that so they can stand to see the rest of you
Hide your arms, your stomach the best you can
**** it in all you want, they all see your muffin top
I tell them, "Just makes me more delicious" so they will laugh WITH me, not AT me
Because somehow that makes it okay
Finish the punchline before they even have time to think of the joke
Afternoon:
Take mental notes
Snap cerebral pictures
Remember every time you feel the stabbing eyes of disgust and pity
sting you like a thousand and one bees
Lock them away
Bury them down
Cry on your own
Don't let the fat girl tears spread their seed
Evening:
Make small talk
Tell them your "plans" for the night
Pretend that I'm not just going to go home and scribble the dribble that pollutes my thoughts
Hope that someone is actually listening
Hope even harder that this someone will show the slightest glimmer of interest
and for one speck of of a moment think that you are somebody who is worthy of any of their attention
When and where
and in what time and place did this ever become "my routine"
Did I do this to myself?
Why would I indulge any part of myself to fit this mold that society made for me?
News flash:
I am never going to fit
Day after miserable day I scramble for the approval of those who don't deserve to know the real me
The ones who snicker to themselves as I pass by
I'm fat, I'm not deaf
The ones who have never and will never walk a mile in my heavy shoes
Notice how the weight of my body leaves a much bigger imprint on this world than they ever will
My waistline is big, but my voice is bigger
My words will shutter your very existence in this stupid, mundane and sometimes beautiful world
I can sing and shout louder and stronger than any of those dainty, petty little girls
ever could or EVER would
I can feel and love much deeper than those so-called "men" who never gave me a second glance or even the slightest chance
Enough is enough
This routine stops here
I'm calling curtains on this performance I tricked myself to play
My mornings
will be filled with memories of sweet dreams
My afternoons
will be overflowing with good deeds and kind words
to those who really need them
I will bury and burn the pain and disdain I have felt through my years
and REFUSE to let hate be at home anywhere in my heart
My evenings
will be surrounded by my loved ones
Together we will stand and raise a song of
Truth
Beauty
Freedom
and above all other things
Love.
And as I lay my head to rest
I will count my blessings as I drift to sleep
Tomorrow is another day
Tomorrow is on it's way
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 8:31 PM UTC