there's a pain that echoes
the kind that gets reiterated every time
the fallen angel traces where his wings used to be
what was beauty incarnate is now
an abhorrent malignant stump
he still finds traces of memories he had
of the allfather in places of worship
when he closes his eyes he swears
like he was back Home
basking in his Presence
a certain warmth passes through him
enlightenment that every single
thing he's done lead him to this moment
and he's exactly where he was meant to be
but then his eyes open
and the feeling of warmth subsides
replaced by the howling silence
the gaping god shaped hole inside him
opens up and swallows him whole
caressing a nearby marble figure
"if only we were as perfect
as you painted us out to be"
he murmurs under his breath
as he steps back outside
the hell he calls life
Dec 22, 2021
Dec 22, 2021 at 10:37 AM UTC
picture perfect, sadly, doesn't translate into emotions. paperweight relationships usually die with the threat of emitting a spark. we are the people who were raised not to tame the flames inside us. this is the only way we know how to love. it's either we both go down this rabbit hole or you can sit your *** down in Kansas, Dorothy. there is no in between, we either entangle ourselves in this folie à deux or nothing at all. sad to say you'll never know how brutal honest lust feels like. how these muffled moans sound like unwritten gospels. how these jaw clenching sighs are the only prayers that cannot be held back by the ceiling. I'd always choose primal over prim and proper. if it's anything short than honest, consider it fake. life is too short to spend it people who are half measures.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 10:42 PM UTC
we both knew
that this was going to hurt
sooner or later
so stop crying
this love is a wound
that we kept on pretending,
kept lying to ourselves
was a battle scar
for a war
we've never even fought
I'll pack my bags
and stitch my wounds
so please, at least
have the decency
to tell me you didn't
really love me
at least, give me
a reason to sleep
after I've cried
rivers out of my eyes
lie for me
one last time
for old times sake
pretty please?
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 9:09 AM UTC
I'd rather be stuck in a literal maze,
at least then I'll be able to see the walls.
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 3:59 AM UTC
these are the luxuries money can't buy
these are the smiles clowns can't fake
these are the places cars can't reach
this is the kind of happiness death can't take
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 6:53 AM UTC
you are eighteen and struggling to know who you really are.
the friends that you keep close make you feel so worthless
but at least you aren't lonely,
or at least that's what you tell yourself.
you think about how things were so different a year ago
and how things quickly fell apart.
two dimensional friends come and go
you don't even have the strength to care anymore.
so you write down all the things real enough to say
but not enough courage to say it.
that's the thing about art, it's still beautiful
even though it may be broken and misunderstood.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 5:20 AM UTC
remember that night you told me
that you loved me
and I said "prove it,"
so you took the cigarette off my lips
and said "I'm the only vice you need."
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 3:57 AM UTC
I hate self-help books.
It's not just how I feel so envious and helplessly depressed to be told 'just be happy' or 'go out there and just do something other than being depressed' with heightened language and flowery figures of speech.
The fact that a stranger out there is telling you what you should feel about a personal experience. It's as if feeling sad is the worst thing that can happen to a person, how you should be blissfully ignorant of all these things around you and just focus on being happy.
I guess I'm just saying that I want to be happy for a cause, and not just be happy carelessly. I want that kind of happiness that sticks with you inevitably, not just because you're in a certain pleasant situation. I want my happiness to be part of me and not just an experience with someone or something. I want to be truly happy and not just experience happiness.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 9:17 AM UTC
'cause nothing can ever make
me feel more vulnerable
and yet safe,
than being
with you.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 7:54 PM UTC
I will love you with no regards as to who you've loved before me. No matter who has tasted your oh so precious lips before they met mine.
I will love you no matter who hates you or who loves you, or who loves hating you. I will love you no matter who you love or who you hate, or who you hate loving.
I will love you no matter what a certain group of people say about us, even if this certain group of people are your friends, my friends, or our parents.
I will love you as a novel loves being read and as the reader loves reading a certain quote that he found on the internet that convinced him to buy the novel and how that certain quote loves being revised online as to fool someone's followers on Twitter that it was his own.
I will love you no matter how many typos you have when drunk texting me, or drunk texting someone else who, I hope to God, isn't your ex.
I will love you no matter what songs you sing in the shower, no matter how wrong the lyrics are or if you're out of tune, or even if you don't take showers at all.
I will love you as a graphic artist loves drawing his favorite stroke, even if his professor says it's not the right way it should be done.
I will love you as a certain DJ loves playing his favorite remix, even if the crowd hates The 1975 remixes because they're too biased to appreciate it.
I will love you no matter what bands break up next year and no matter what bands get back together and pull out another Fall Out Boy.
I will love you even if the clowns stop laughing at their own jokes, even if the priests start questioning their own homily sermons, or even when the masses stop laughing at the priest's jokes at homily.
I will love you even if you stop correcting my works even when you grow tired of my mistakes, not only my grammatical ones but the ones I make literally.
I will love you no matter what color your hair is or if you wear contacts to sleep or not. I will love you even if you stop tracing my lips as I fall asleep beside you, even if you steal the blankets at the coldest of nights.
I will love you even if you regret meeting me and that you allowed me to woo you with my saccharine tongue.
That is how I will love you, so please just don't regret loving me.
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 7, 2015 at 2:52 AM UTC