A ramen bowl - the pained cheeks squeezing still
Above the porcelain throne, his thighs caressed
In great strain, his bowels seeking to un-fill,
Whereon the chilled white seat his buttocks pressed.
Will those cherished friends wait for him to push
This fiery feces from his loosening thighs?
And how can body, poised above that flush,
But feel the fat **** throbbing where it lies?
A shudder in the ***** expulses there
The burning *** a plop, that lost half-hour,
And thick brown smear…
Being so immense,
So swollen, in the thick stench of the air,
Did he envisage he would need a shower
Before the indifferent cheeks did let that drop?
Jul 8, 2025
Jul 8, 2025 at 3:20 PM UTC
Adam’s urination was obnoxious in duration
Misidentification of the peeing location
Caused initial complication, then a long deliberation
Yet upon his infiltration of the urinary station
We waited in frustration, with a growing perturbation
But soon anticipation, fell to demoralisation
Why this elongation of his bladder evacuation?
Is his stream without cessation in this lengthy expellation!?
We waited in vexation through lavatorial vacation…
Was it *** misapplication, needing re-sanitisation?
Or perhaps an altercation with the flush mechanisation?
Or maybe ************ for some cheap gratification?
Excuse the scandalisation of his prolonged defecation
This versification of constipation has a solid allegation
Tis not a fabrication, that a massive **** was taken!
Jul 7, 2025
Jul 7, 2025 at 10:54 AM UTC
Flamingos are creatures of beauty
they tread lightly on this world
because they are not truly of it
their origin is celestial
some distant oasis
far flung between the stars
this is apparent
when one looks at a flamingo
the beauty one sees
is no ordinary
kind of beauty
it is the beauty of wisdom
a pure wisdom
not tainted by life
for flamingos don’t live
in the ordinary sense
they are eternal.
sure
you can own a flamingo
possess it even
lay your hands lustily upon it
and ruffle some feathers
beneath a flaming moon
but you can never
know its mind.
Jul 6, 2025
Jul 6, 2025 at 10:56 AM UTC
And from that tree that is the universe
that springs the universe
there’ll spring an apple
and when it falls
it falls forever
so that it can never be rotten
never be eaten
never be tainted by a world
in which it never is to enter
ever suspended
but never submitted
it will be the most beautiful
pristine apple
that ever was created
ever was alive
with its creation
this apple
will be the bliss untasted
long live that apple
that never will live
here it will stay
untouched
forever.
-
i’ll eat that apple though…
i f*cking love apples!
Jul 5, 2025
Jul 5, 2025 at 7:40 AM UTC
Colonel Lingus was a cunning linguist,
He would slither, and slobber and dribble,
With his tongue he would stroke, with a push and poke,
and a wiggle about in the middle,
Though the talk of the town, when he had his head down,
Not a word ever could be distinguished.
Colonel Lingus was a gourmet lover,
He would travel the world for its flavours,
But his favourite dish, sort of tasted like fish,
And he’d eat out with quite odd behaviours,
When he tasted sweet slimes, he would quiver with rhymes,
If you met him you’d never recover.
Colonel Lingus had a special interest,
He had mastered a delicate motion,
When he put it within’er, and then gestured ‘come hither’,
It was said he could summon the ocean,
So the ladies spoke highly, although often quite shyly,
But he played himself down like the simplest.
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 10:32 PM UTC
When the guns fell silent in Levantine skies
Hast thou no missiles left for me?
Scarcely a drone within our airspace flies
As thousands now attempt to flee
You’ve heard from me, why I not thee?
Blitz me! Smother me with bombs!
Blast me! Strike me here, from there?
Let mortars fall like sugar plums!
Make ash clouds smoulder, sirens blare
This iron dome has got to give! -
All is fair, in love, and warfare 🚀
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 5:45 PM UTC
Last night a tree whispered on the breeze,
To a girl, half-dozed in wakeful dreams,
With the groaning darkness yet retreating,
The processing dawn was ever reaching,
She stumbled here - Beneath his bulge,
She crumbled here - In weeping deluge,
Half-drowned, half-famished, to seek refuge,
When she heard the tree sounds, murmuring,
Which pierced the darkness, murdering,
From that old Oak so bold and bright,
He whispered with his treely might,
Where she sat safeguarded from the night,
“I am a tree, hardly alive, but wakeful and ever watching”
“I’ve seen many creatures warm and keen,”
“Grow cold upon this muddy green.”
“Yet here you wandered, pure and serene”,
“Whilst here I wavered, tall and lean”,
“I thought this was your dying scene”
So the tree whispered words unseen,
To all but her, who at eighteen,
She sat beneath him wild and mean.
The tree spoke wise and tactfully,
With arboreal tonality,
“Don’t write this self-told tragedy!”
“Awake! And get gone happily!”
“I’ve seen the moons that mast and fade”
“And many creatures stalk the shade”
“You’ve languished here in moon-lit chill”
“Don’t linger for that cheaper thrill!”
“Your puke is soaking in my roots”
“Take off upon those shaking boots”
“This life is yours and yours to spill”
“Now leave me on my little hill”
She shivered on his wooded form,
His withered branches bowed forlorn.
He brushed her head with leaf and thorn,
“The world is yours, and yours to dream”
“But memories aren’t as they seem”
“The worst is best forgotten,
“The rest will soon be rotten”
“Your pain is so ill gotten”
“But not so grave. Walk on. Be brave!”
She staggered off, a drunken kook,
Then in one final last rebuke,
The tree spoke quiet, not to *****
The girl who gave him one last look,
“So long, and Thanks, for all the puke.”
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 3:18 PM UTC
I swam up to meet you
Over sand and shell
Kissed your salted lips
Fresh and alive
Buoyant
Sun-ripe *******
Soft as ocean crests
Enlivened eyes
Bodies pressed
Mast against Hull
Ramming
Rising with the swell
Hoisted close
Your half-buried bow
Port over starboard
Flooding the deck
Swaying
Side to side
Thrusting and thrashing
Salt tasted sweet
Entwined in our motion
Indiscreet
Swirling and splashing
Tumbling on the wash
Bringing to port
Anchored
Between bruised legs
Moist in wetness
Blustered by breeze
Tossed and tousled
Cargo spilled
Current spins us
Our feet scraping
On sharp stones
Bodies so fragile
The sun could sink them
If your eyes are not blue
Let the ocean drink them
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 1:26 PM UTC
Pink pigs played peppy and peaceful in Paradise.
Prideful and prestigious was their pen,
Prettily pounded with providence plenty provided.
Privileged pigs paraded pretentiously, protecting prized possessions and pleasantries.
Prudent pigs pootled purposefully pondering the passage of their permanence.
Promiscuous pigs plugged and pegged ***** pigs in picturesque pleasantness.
Piglets promising plumpness pranced piggish in the pasture, precociously,
Perky and pearly in prepubescent peachiness.
Pericles - Peerless paragon of Porky perfection-
was their principle proponent.
Pensive philosopher Pig!
Prominence and prestige palpable.
Pericles was percipient and practically prehistoric to his peers.
Preceedingly, Pericles had a premonition -
A premonition of pulverisation!
Predestined pogrom. Preordained.
Perhaps, Preventable?
Percicles pooled the pigs and pacing placidly,
Presented a panegyric.
Pronouncing with perspicacity, the plight of pigs -
Perfectly polished.
“Proud and prideful pigs of the pen!
Parents of piglets! Possessing no parallel!
Perhaps perplexed are pigs preempting Paradise to persist and prevail perennially.
Promptly - a plethora of pigs will be parted!
Peep not! Precious piggies.
The Progeny of us pigs will proclaim perpetually -
how those perfect pigs - parried and perished - politely parting their precious pork to the President of the Paddock.”
Paranoia pervaded…
Pericles, persisted in his preaching.
“Practical and pragmatic Pigs!
Privileged priceless pigs!
Preserved! Par-excellence!
Presently and permanently!”
Pericles was professional.
Preaching and pontificating with pertinent persuasion to the pigs presiding.
Paladin of pigs! Pre-eminence palatable.
Par-contre, Pericles had previously pledged a pact.
A Partnership!
To the President of the Paddock!
Particularly poignant and penetrative was the pact.
Pericles’ proposed to persuade the pigs to perdition,
Provided his own persistence and preservation - Promised.
Pericles’ panegyric proclaimed preposterous prevarications.
“Pigs, punished and persecuted, placed peerless and pardoned. Pure and pious!”
Pericles polluted their purity.
“Profound public punishment is no petty pitfall.
Professional pigs prevail!”
Pericles prated piffle to pliant pigs - Porky pies!
Parvenu! Plotter!
Peacemaker perverse!
Passionate performer of parody!
“Please pardon us Pigs!” - pining piggies prattled,
Pleading for preservation.
Peckish and parched was the pathetic profusion.
Pericles preached positivity - placated the pigs - pacified them with poison pellets and popsicles provided to piglets,
Pridelessly Pericles paraded a phalanx of piggies to the pernicious parlour of pain…
Pericles - Persuader of pigs!
Pestilent partaker!
Pericles’ ploy, premeditated - perpetrated!
Perniciousness proliferated
Piggies panted in perturbation.
Paranoid pigs posted prayers pitifully.
Precipitously, permanence was punctuated!
Pugnacious pigs parried pathetically as
Pincers pried and pulled at petrified pigs.
Porky palpitations pounded pervasively.
Pink pigs parted painfully -
Pulverised and pounded into paste - Puréed
Pricked and prodded - Purity pooled-out
Pressed and peeled. Pain prolific in proportion
Poor piggies. Pensive and polite.
Plundered.
“Phew!”, Pericles panted, post pogrom.
Pert Pervader! Peeking and peering,
Preserved and persistent!
Promise provided.
Prodigious profusion of piggies, piled, perished and perilous, peppered the parlour, in porky patterns of a putrid ******* painting.
Pericles - paranoid parasite - persevered!
Plegmatic and pallid in persistence.
Pericles peeped in posthumous pathos as the perishable perkiness of his peers was powerlessly pounded, passively processed, procured and preserved.
Pitiless! The proud prankster perked up.
Pericles went prancing and pealing about the parlour in peak performance - Perfumed Pig!
Products produced for pecuniary profit profligate.
Pericles’ portion partitioned!
Plenty of pork provided. Production prolific.
Pink pigs packaged.
Peaceful in Pork.
Jun 27, 2025
Jun 27, 2025 at 8:22 AM UTC
******** and Ass-folk! Assemble! Attend!
Ascend! Ass-ly ones! Angelic assets of ***
Assimilate *** army! Advance on Almighty *** -
Affectionate ass-kisses of admirative adoration!”
An adorable assortment of *** assembled, as announcer assailed.
And all ***** attended attentively.
“Accept Almighty ***
“Always Almighty ***
“Ass-kiss Almighty ***
All ***** answered autonomously.
Against the accretion of *** accrued, announcer again accosted:
“Alacritous ***** a-frolic in Ass-land. Always,
aspirating ass-air of Almighty *** Absorbing the abstraction of Absolute-Ass, in attainment of Alpha-Ass.”
“Accept Ass-lore!
1. All ***** are alike!
2. Accept not alternative *****
3. Assassinate not another ***
4. Avoid ass-ly avarice
5. Avoid ass-ly adulteration
6. Always is Almighty ***
7. Almighty *** is Always
8. Abuse not another ***
9. Abstain Anti-Ass associations
10. Ass-kiss Almighty ***
Abruptly, an anonymous *** amid the audience ambushed the address:
“Absent ass-kissers All!”
“Accepting this annoying ass-wind!”
All ***** abated in agitation…
Anon, the Ass-land ambassador, affected by **** anguish, assaulted:
“Un-Assly Alien! Ally of the Anti-Ass!”
“Alas, an *** is an *** Apprehend the apostate!”
All ***** attacked, amok, and aggressively abolished and annihilated the assailant!
Afterwards, ***** applauded and acclaimed:
“Almighty *** Ass-Lord of Ass-land!
Always art in *** Assist an ***
in attainment of assly-ness.
To acquire allusionment in ***
To attain Ass-ly Ascension,
As assuredly as *** is ***
Ashes to ashes, and *** to ***
Jun 27, 2025
Jun 27, 2025 at 8:11 AM UTC