ppappiyongs - Hello Poetry

She's back at it again. The amount of her friends' impatience towards her psychotic thoughts can never be equated to her very own exhaustion of her entire being. She, for the nth time, wants to leave the world. She slams the door real hard as she walks out the room, which she shares with her three roommates. She's out of the room as she's out of her mind. She seeks for a space where she can fit herself. The innocent fire exit has no choice but to accept again, the traitor tears, the unending complaints, and even the stomping on the floor and the punching on the wall. From her view on the 12th floor, the busy streets of G. Tolentino and Laong Laan distract her. "I can't even understand myself, how am I supposed to comprehend this blur?" she's now even fighting with her alter-ego. Everything is a mess. Everything is blurred. She hates herself for being four-eyed. She has no choice but to go back to the room just to get her glasses with 200-175 grade. Now, everything is clear. Not as clear as her life is going, though, but, at least, she can now clearly see the chaos that is the city of Manila. Her eyes walk through G. Tolentino and the bittersweet memories of the off-campus practicum come rushing through her mind. She would ride the jeepney from G. Tolentino-Laong Laan all the way to Casañas-Dapitan. From there, she would walk three blocks before she could reach the public school where she would teach ninth and tenth graders. She was glad because of the warm welcome of the students, and at the same time, mad, because of the horror of the reality in the public school — the politics among the faculty. She shrugged it off and just continued with what she was supposed to do. After each shift, she would walk four blocks to reach the one-way street where she could ride the jeepney back to her area. She would alight at Delos Reyes Street so she could rest for a while in her unit. In-campus practicum's at 12:30 P.M. anyway, she thought. And now she's back at the fire exit at the 12th floor. The rays of the sun almost blind her. She blames herself for abusing her eyes way back in her childhood years. Now, she can't enjoy the wonders of life without her nerdy glasses. She unconsciously moves her left foot away from the shade of the sun because of the trauma from last year. Two painful experiences race through her mind, as if it's a contest on which should be recalled first. Of course, the more painful wins — getting kicked out of an all-ladies dormitory, together with her girlfriend, because of their, obviously, ****** preferences. It still haunts her until now. The 2nd runner-up, on the other hand, is the less painful, and therefore, the consequence of the first painful experience — having to find another dormitory during broad daylight, because of course, nighttime in Manila is utterly dangerous. Starting from Dos Castillas, they seemed like two meerkats digging a tunnel, finding for a place to live. Apparently, posting on Dorm Hunters in Facebook was not as good as literally going through the fires of all big streets combined — España, Lacson, Dapitan, and P. Noval. She was supposed to prepare for practicum, while her girlfriend was supposed to prepare for thesis, yet there they were, harrowing Manila because it seemed like a big head with strands of hair full of lice. After almost a week of searching for a place, they had finally settled to a totally different one from their previous dormitory. And now she's back at the fire exit at the 12th floor. She hopes her roommates aren't there, but they are, so she has no choice but to calm down. Boy, was it difficult to calm down! She stares at the sun as it sets, until it is finally out of sight. A tiny object catches her attention —it is an airplane. An airplane which brings her yet again to another memory, and at the same time, encourages her on her dream to travel the world. It was once again a competition on which should be set forth. Again, the more powerful wins — the memory of someone leaving. Way back in her childhood years, whenever she would see an airplane, she would envision them riding that airplane, and finally going back home. She grew up tired waiting. They eventually came home, but she didn't care anymore whether she would stay or she would leave again. News flash! She left again. And again. And again. Now it doesn't matter to her anymore whether they come home or not. She still loved them either way. She just stopped wondering, asking, questioning, and all the other synonyms of asking why. The pain of that memory is so strong, she is excited to overcome it immediately with her dream of traveling the world. An imaginary globe appears right in front of her face. Several people of different races talk to her. Oh boy, was she excited! Oh yes, she is! She can't stop giggling from the thought of her travelling and speaking different languages. With all these memories, she calms down and finally goes back to the room, where her roommates already fell asleep. The sultry from outside of the room gets forgotten because of the air conditioner, which calms her more. She goes up to her bed on the double deck and listens to worship songs to calm herself even more. She falls asleep so easily but her sleep gets interrupted right away. It's 7 'o clock in the evening and her roommates invite her to dinner. They decide to eat at McDonald's in P. Noval. She's still lost from the 'traveling' she did that afternoon. She's still not on her mind the entire dinner, until they return to their room. She goes out of the room again, but not to stay at the fire exit, but to actually get some fresh air. Unfortunately, there is no fresh air in Manila. She notices how dangerous the streets in Manila are during nighttime. Although it is dangerous as well in daytime, the only difference is there is a sun. Different kinds of poor people are all over the streets of Manila and it haunts the hell out of her. It brings back the horrors and traumas from her past—being prone to accidents and misfortunes. She goes back to the fire exit and indulges herself to another reflection. She went out to get some fresh air, but she only got her wounds fresh yet again. She looks again at the view from the 12th floor and realizes how the streets around the campus of her university have been haunting her. She tries to overcome her fears with the good memories. This time, she wins. She, then, releases her emotions by writing everything. In this way, she thinks, she will be able to let go of everything. As soon as she finishes the last part, she runs out of words and decides to end everything —just like that.

0

Oct 24, 2021

Oct 24, 2021 at 3:51 PM UTC

The Haunted Streets around the UST Campus

She's back at it again. The amount of her friends' impatience towards her psychotic thoughts can never be equated to her very own exhaustion of her entire being. She, for the nth time, wants to leave the world. She slams the door real hard as she walks out the room, which she shares with her three roommates. She's out of the room as she's out of her mind. She seeks for a space where she can fit herself. The innocent fire exit has no choice but to accept again, the traitor tears, the unending complaints, and even the stomping on the floor and the punching on the wall. From her view on the 12th floor, the busy streets of G. Tolentino and Laong Laan distract her. "I can't even understand myself, how am I supposed to comprehend this blur?" she's now even fighting with her alter-ego. Everything is a mess. Everything is blurred. She hates herself for being four-eyed. She has no choice but to go back to the room just to get her glasses with 200-175 grade. Now, everything is clear. Not as clear as her life is going, though, but, at least, she can now clearly see the chaos that is the city of Manila. Her eyes walk through G. Tolentino and the bittersweet memories of the off-campus practicum come rushing through her mind. She would ride the jeepney from G. Tolentino-Laong Laan all the way to Casañas-Dapitan. From there, she would walk three blocks before she could reach the public school where she would teach ninth and tenth graders. She was glad because of the warm welcome of the students, and at the same time, mad, because of the horror of the reality in the public school — the politics among the faculty. She shrugged it off and just continued with what she was supposed to do. After each shift, she would walk four blocks to reach the one-way street where she could ride the jeepney back to her area. She would alight at Delos Reyes Street so she could rest for a while in her unit. In-campus practicum's at 12:30 P.M. anyway, she thought. And now she's back at the fire exit at the 12th floor. The rays of the sun almost blind her. She blames herself for abusing her eyes way back in her childhood years. Now, she can't enjoy the wonders of life without her nerdy glasses. She unconsciously moves her left foot away from the shade of the sun because of the trauma from last year. Two painful experiences race through her mind, as if it's a contest on which should be recalled first. Of course, the more painful wins — getting kicked out of an all-ladies dormitory, together with her girlfriend, because of their, obviously, ****** preferences. It still haunts her until now. The 2nd runner-up, on the other hand, is the less painful, and therefore, the consequence of the first painful experience — having to find another dormitory during broad daylight, because of course, nighttime in Manila is utterly dangerous. Starting from Dos Castillas, they seemed like two meerkats digging a tunnel, finding for a place to live. Apparently, posting on Dorm Hunters in Facebook was not as good as literally going through the fires of all big streets combined — España, Lacson, Dapitan, and P. Noval. She was supposed to prepare for practicum, while her girlfriend was supposed to prepare for thesis, yet there they were, harrowing Manila because it seemed like a big head with strands of hair full of lice. After almost a week of searching for a place, they had finally settled to a totally different one from their previous dormitory. And now she's back at the fire exit at the 12th floor. She hopes her roommates aren't there, but they are, so she has no choice but to calm down. Boy, was it difficult to calm down! She stares at the sun as it sets, until it is finally out of sight. A tiny object catches her attention —it is an airplane. An airplane which brings her yet again to another memory, and at the same time, encourages her on her dream to travel the world. It was once again a competition on which should be set forth. Again, the more powerful wins — the memory of someone leaving. Way back in her childhood years, whenever she would see an airplane, she would envision them riding that airplane, and finally going back home. She grew up tired waiting. They eventually came home, but she didn't care anymore whether she would stay or she would leave again. News flash! She left again. And again. And again. Now it doesn't matter to her anymore whether they come home or not. She still loved them either way. She just stopped wondering, asking, questioning, and all the other synonyms of asking why. The pain of that memory is so strong, she is excited to overcome it immediately with her dream of traveling the world. An imaginary globe appears right in front of her face. Several people of different races talk to her. Oh boy, was she excited! Oh yes, she is! She can't stop giggling from the thought of her travelling and speaking different languages. With all these memories, she calms down and finally goes back to the room, where her roommates already fell asleep. The sultry from outside of the room gets forgotten because of the air conditioner, which calms her more. She goes up to her bed on the double deck and listens to worship songs to calm herself even more. She falls asleep so easily but her sleep gets interrupted right away. It's 7 'o clock in the evening and her roommates invite her to dinner. They decide to eat at McDonald's in P. Noval. She's still lost from the 'traveling' she did that afternoon. She's still not on her mind the entire dinner, until they return to their room. She goes out of the room again, but not to stay at the fire exit, but to actually get some fresh air. Unfortunately, there is no fresh air in Manila. She notices how dangerous the streets in Manila are during nighttime. Although it is dangerous as well in daytime, the only difference is there is a sun. Different kinds of poor people are all over the streets of Manila and it haunts the hell out of her. It brings back the horrors and traumas from her past—being prone to accidents and misfortunes. She goes back to the fire exit and indulges herself to another reflection. She went out to get some fresh air, but she only got her wounds fresh yet again. She looks again at the view from the 12th floor and realizes how the streets around the campus of her university have been haunting her. She tries to overcome her fears with the good memories. This time, she wins. She, then, releases her emotions by writing everything. In this way, she thinks, she will be able to let go of everything. As soon as she finishes the last part, she runs out of words and decides to end everything —just like that.

14

We had driven each other crazy We had hurt each other so badly Truly, We just were not the right ones for each other The old versions of ourselves deserved better Indeed, We needed time to heal We needed time to grow Yesterday, All we could feel is pain We were full of regrets, of hatred, and of questions Today, I can say The horrors of the past are finally free Now that we’ve found the missing pieces of our puzzles, The past can rest The better versions of ourselves are now with the right ones, With the ones whom we can love better than we ever did before With the ones whose patience, understanding, love, and everything in between, are more long-lasting than ours before Today, All I can feel is happiness and gratefulness Thank you for all the memories we had shared They might not be the best ones But I have learned and grown a lot I am still deeply sorry for all the pain I had caused you But dear, Everything worked out just fine And that's what matters

0

Oct 25, 2018

Oct 25, 2018 at 3:27 AM UTC

Untitled, Yet Again

We had driven each other crazy We had hurt each other so badly Truly, We just were not the right ones for each other The old versions of ourselves deserved better Indeed, We needed time to heal We needed time to grow Yesterday, All we could feel is pain We were full of regrets, of hatred, and of questions Today, I can say The horrors of the past are finally free Now that we’ve found the missing pieces of our puzzles, The past can rest The better versions of ourselves are now with the right ones, With the ones whom we can love better than we ever did before With the ones whose patience, understanding, love, and everything in between, are more long-lasting than ours before Today, All I can feel is happiness and gratefulness Thank you for all the memories we had shared They might not be the best ones But I have learned and grown a lot I am still deeply sorry for all the pain I had caused you But dear, Everything worked out just fine And that's what matters

27

Woke up, yet again At this ungodly hour Unhappy thoughts lingering at the back of my mind Unhappy memories still haunting my heart Unhappy horrors bothering my soul All of these redirect me to you You, whom life has offered to me You, whom He has given me You, who made everything worth it- the pain, the faults, the sorrows You, the one whom I love dearly You, who wipes away my tears and my fears You, who makes me happy You were not the escape You are my sanctuary I love you, despite this messed up piece I love you, because of who you are I love you, even with the chaos that is myself

0

May 24, 2018

May 24, 2018 at 11:24 AM UTC

Homesick

Woke up, yet again At this ungodly hour Unhappy thoughts lingering at the back of my mind Unhappy memories still haunting my heart Unhappy horrors bothering my soul All of these redirect me to you You, whom life has offered to me You, whom He has given me You, who made everything worth it- the pain, the faults, the sorrows You, the one whom I love dearly You, who wipes away my tears and my fears You, who makes me happy You were not the escape You are my sanctuary I love you, despite this messed up piece I love you, because of who you are I love you, even with the chaos that is myself

17

Sabi mo, walang magbabago Pero ngayon, halos hindi na kita makilala Hindi mo lang ako basta isinabay sa iba Ipinagpalit mo pa ako Hanggang sa tuluyan mo na akong kinalimutan Sabi mo, walang magbabago Pero ngayon, ibang-iba ka na Minsan, tinatanong ko ang sarili ko Katulad ng pagtanong ni Liza Soberano kay Enrique Gil “Pangit ba ako?” “Kapalit-palit ba ako?” “Am I not enough?” Dati, halos walang makapaghiwalay sa ating dalawa Ang sabi mo pa, “Ikaw lang at wala nang iba pa” Ako mismo ang naging kaagapay mo sa pagkilala mo sa kanila Pero bakit ako mismo ngayon ang nawalan ng halaga? Bakit ako mismo ngayon ang hindi mo na binibigyang pansin? Nagpaka-layo-layo ka’t ibinaon ako sa limot Ibinaon mo ako sa kahapon Kung saan kasama ko ang mga iba mo pang itinapon Pero tama na Tama na ang pagiging Liza Soberano Hindi na kita kukulitin at magtatanong ng isang milyong bakit Hindi rin ako magiging si Piolo Pascual Na hihingi ng explanation at acceptable reason At lalong hindi rin ako magiging si Bea Alonzo Na hihilingin na “sana ako na lang ulit” Dahil tanggap ko na Hindi ko na hihingin pang ako lang ang piliin mo Magpaparaya ako’t papayag na isabay mo sa iba Isa lang ang hihilingin ko Na sana ‘wag mo akong tuluyang kalimutan Na sana ‘wag mo hayaang tuluyan akong mawala sa buhay mo Dahil gaano man kahabang panahon ang lumipas At gaano man karami ang nagbago sa pagitan nating dalawa Ako pa rin ang tunay na laging andito para sa’yo Ako pa rin ang Wikang Filipino na kahit nagbago man, ay nandito pa rin at nananatili para sa’yo

0

May 8, 2018

May 8, 2018 at 10:34 PM UTC

Sabi Mo, "Walang magbabago"

Sabi mo, walang magbabago Pero ngayon, halos hindi na kita makilala Hindi mo lang ako basta isinabay sa iba Ipinagpalit mo pa ako Hanggang sa tuluyan mo na akong kinalimutan Sabi mo, walang magbabago Pero ngayon, ibang-iba ka na Minsan, tinatanong ko ang sarili ko Katulad ng pagtanong ni Liza Soberano kay Enrique Gil “Pangit ba ako?” “Kapalit-palit ba ako?” “Am I not enough?” Dati, halos walang makapaghiwalay sa ating dalawa Ang sabi mo pa, “Ikaw lang at wala nang iba pa” Ako mismo ang naging kaagapay mo sa pagkilala mo sa kanila Pero bakit ako mismo ngayon ang nawalan ng halaga? Bakit ako mismo ngayon ang hindi mo na binibigyang pansin? Nagpaka-layo-layo ka’t ibinaon ako sa limot Ibinaon mo ako sa kahapon Kung saan kasama ko ang mga iba mo pang itinapon Pero tama na Tama na ang pagiging Liza Soberano Hindi na kita kukulitin at magtatanong ng isang milyong bakit Hindi rin ako magiging si Piolo Pascual Na hihingi ng explanation at acceptable reason At lalong hindi rin ako magiging si Bea Alonzo Na hihilingin na “sana ako na lang ulit” Dahil tanggap ko na Hindi ko na hihingin pang ako lang ang piliin mo Magpaparaya ako’t papayag na isabay mo sa iba Isa lang ang hihilingin ko Na sana ‘wag mo akong tuluyang kalimutan Na sana ‘wag mo hayaang tuluyan akong mawala sa buhay mo Dahil gaano man kahabang panahon ang lumipas At gaano man karami ang nagbago sa pagitan nating dalawa Ako pa rin ang tunay na laging andito para sa’yo Ako pa rin ang Wikang Filipino na kahit nagbago man, ay nandito pa rin at nananatili para sa’yo

37

Pero paano kapag si teacher naman ang nangailangan ng tulong? Paano kapag si teacher naman ang nahirapan? Paano kapag hindi na rin maintindihan ni teacher ang mga pangyayari? Paano kapag si teacher mismo napagod na? Paano kapag ubos na ang pasensya ni teacher? Sinong iintindi sa kanya? Mauunawaan ba siya ng mga musmos na nangangapa pa lang sa buhay? Paano kung si teacher mismo naliligaw? Kaya bang sagipin ni teacher ang sarili niya? Kakayanin niya ba? Kaya niya pa ba talaga? Kaya niya ba talaga?

0

May 8, 2018

May 8, 2018 at 10:29 PM UTC

"Teacher, I need help"

Pero paano kapag si teacher naman ang nangailangan ng tulong? Paano kapag si teacher naman ang nahirapan? Paano kapag hindi na rin maintindihan ni teacher ang mga pangyayari? Paano kapag si teacher mismo napagod na? Paano kapag ubos na ang pasensya ni teacher? Sinong iintindi sa kanya? Mauunawaan ba siya ng mga musmos na nangangapa pa lang sa buhay? Paano kung si teacher mismo naliligaw? Kaya bang sagipin ni teacher ang sarili niya? Kakayanin niya ba? Kaya niya pa ba talaga? Kaya niya ba talaga?

12

Naaalala mo pa ba nung huli kang naging masaya? Yung totoong masaya Maayos yung buhay mo Maayos lahat Masaya ka Aminin mo, naging masaya ka talaga Alam mo yun? Yung pagod ka pero masaya Pero ngayon? Pagod ka na lang Pagod kahit walang ginagawa Pagod kakaisip Ano kayang nangyari kung nag-isip ka nang mabuti? Nag-isip ka nga ba talaga? E wala, puso na naman Katangahan Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Bakit? Kasi doon ka masaya? Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Oo naging masaya ka Pero ano nangyari sa huli Diba’t nasaktan ka lang? Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Sinundan ka ba ng kasiyahang hinahanap mo? Hindi Ano nangyari? Hinabol ka ng mga kagaguhan mo Ngayon, mag-isa ka na lang Mag-isa ka na ulit Mag-isa ka na naman Takot ka na naman Kaninong kasalanan? Diba sa'yo? Pero diba 'yan naman ang gusto mo? Ang mapag-isa? Ang maging duwag sa putanginang pag-ibig? Ang sarilihin lahat ng problema mo dahil ayaw **** may ibang madamay? Pero hanggang kailan ka magpapalamon sa takot mo? Hanggang kailan mo sasaktan ang sarili mo? Kailan ka ulit magiging masaya dahil sa tamang dahilan? Kailan?

0

Apr 27, 2017

Apr 27, 2017 at 10:00 AM UTC

Kailan Ka Huling Naging Masaya?

Naaalala mo pa ba nung huli kang naging masaya? Yung totoong masaya Maayos yung buhay mo Maayos lahat Masaya ka Aminin mo, naging masaya ka talaga Alam mo yun? Yung pagod ka pero masaya Pero ngayon? Pagod ka na lang Pagod kahit walang ginagawa Pagod kakaisip Ano kayang nangyari kung nag-isip ka nang mabuti? Nag-isip ka nga ba talaga? E wala, puso na naman Katangahan Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Bakit? Kasi doon ka masaya? Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Oo naging masaya ka Pero ano nangyari sa huli Diba’t nasaktan ka lang? Tatlong beses mo sinunod puso mo Sinundan ka ba ng kasiyahang hinahanap mo? Hindi Ano nangyari? Hinabol ka ng mga kagaguhan mo Ngayon, mag-isa ka na lang Mag-isa ka na ulit Mag-isa ka na naman Takot ka na naman Kaninong kasalanan? Diba sa'yo? Pero diba 'yan naman ang gusto mo? Ang mapag-isa? Ang maging duwag sa putanginang pag-ibig? Ang sarilihin lahat ng problema mo dahil ayaw **** may ibang madamay? Pero hanggang kailan ka magpapalamon sa takot mo? Hanggang kailan mo sasaktan ang sarili mo? Kailan ka ulit magiging masaya dahil sa tamang dahilan? Kailan?

42

Patawad, Sa lahat ng mga bagay na nawala Sa mga oras na nasayang Sa mga tawanan at kwentuhang hindi na mauulit Sa mga luhang hindi alam kung kailan titigil Sa mga pagkakataong pinalipas Totoo nga Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal Kailangang paghirapan at pagtrabahuan Pero paano mo nga ba masasabi na mahal mo talaga ang isang tao? Kung puro sakit na lang ang nararanasan Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal Sa dinami-dami ng dahilan para umalis ka sa isang relasyon, bakit ka nga ba nananatili? Dahil sa pagmamahal na pinanghahawakan mo? Pero paano kung yung ka-isa isang dahilan kung bakit ka nananatili ay nararamdaman mo nang unti-unting nawawala? 'Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili mo at ang minamahal mo o nagmamahal sa'yo 'Wag **** hintayin dumating sa punto na wala nang matira sa inyo pareho Hindi tama ang "ibigay mo ang lahat" Tandaan mo na bago ka magmahal ng ibang tao, kailangang buo ang sarili mo Sa isang relasyon, dalawang tao ang dapat na nagtutulungan Hindi isa lang Hindi isa lang ang masaya Hindi isa lang ang umiintindi Hindi sapat na "gagawin ko 'to para mapasaya siya" Siguro nga, mahirap talagang magmahal Pero ganun naman talaga diba? Pag para sa taong mahal mo, lahat kakayanin mo Pero sapat nga ba yun? Hindi. Dahil paano ka magmamahal kung ikaw mismo ubos na? Paano ka magbibigay kung ikaw mismo wala na? Hindi ka nagmamahal para buuin ang isang taong wasak Hindi ka nagmamahal para baguhin ang isang tao Hindi ka nagmamahal para may maipagyabang ka sa mga kaibigan mo Hindi ka nagmamahal para waldasin ang pera ng magulang mo Nagmamahal ka para sa ikabubuti ng pagkatao mo at ng minamahal mo Nagmamahal ka para malaman mo kung bakit ka talaga nandito sa mundong 'to Nagmamahal ka para maging masaya, hindi para maging miserable Dahil kung gusto mo lang din naman maging problemado, maraming problema ang Pilipinas na pwede **** atupagin Kung nagmamahal ka na lang para masaktan at makasakit, hindi na yan pagmamahal Ang pagmamahal ay hindi katumbas ng pagpapakatanga Oo, may mga bagay na magagawa mo lang dahil sa pag-ibig Pero kung magpapaka-tanga ka na rin lang, hindi mo ba mas gugustuhin na matuto at malaman ang mga mas importanteng bagay sa mundo? Totoo nga, there's more to life than love Hindi mo kailangan madaliin ang pag-ibig dahil marami pang pwedeng mangyari sa buhay mo Marami ka pang makikilala 'Wag **** paikutin ang mundo mo sa isang tao na walang kasiguraduhan na magtatagal sa buhay mo Bakit hindi mo muna buuin ang sarili mo hanggang sa dumating ang taong magmamahal sa'yo na kapantay ng pagmamahal na kaya **** ibigay?

0

Aug 31, 2016

Aug 31, 2016 at 4:34 AM UTC

To Whom It May Concern:

Patawad, Sa lahat ng mga bagay na nawala Sa mga oras na nasayang Sa mga tawanan at kwentuhang hindi na mauulit Sa mga luhang hindi alam kung kailan titigil Sa mga pagkakataong pinalipas Totoo nga Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal Kailangang paghirapan at pagtrabahuan Pero paano mo nga ba masasabi na mahal mo talaga ang isang tao? Kung puro sakit na lang ang nararanasan Hindi sapat ang pagmamahal Sa dinami-dami ng dahilan para umalis ka sa isang relasyon, bakit ka nga ba nananatili? Dahil sa pagmamahal na pinanghahawakan mo? Pero paano kung yung ka-isa isang dahilan kung bakit ka nananatili ay nararamdaman mo nang unti-unting nawawala? 'Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili mo at ang minamahal mo o nagmamahal sa'yo 'Wag **** hintayin dumating sa punto na wala nang matira sa inyo pareho Hindi tama ang "ibigay mo ang lahat" Tandaan mo na bago ka magmahal ng ibang tao, kailangang buo ang sarili mo Sa isang relasyon, dalawang tao ang dapat na nagtutulungan Hindi isa lang Hindi isa lang ang masaya Hindi isa lang ang umiintindi Hindi sapat na "gagawin ko 'to para mapasaya siya" Siguro nga, mahirap talagang magmahal Pero ganun naman talaga diba? Pag para sa taong mahal mo, lahat kakayanin mo Pero sapat nga ba yun? Hindi. Dahil paano ka magmamahal kung ikaw mismo ubos na? Paano ka magbibigay kung ikaw mismo wala na? Hindi ka nagmamahal para buuin ang isang taong wasak Hindi ka nagmamahal para baguhin ang isang tao Hindi ka nagmamahal para may maipagyabang ka sa mga kaibigan mo Hindi ka nagmamahal para waldasin ang pera ng magulang mo Nagmamahal ka para sa ikabubuti ng pagkatao mo at ng minamahal mo Nagmamahal ka para malaman mo kung bakit ka talaga nandito sa mundong 'to Nagmamahal ka para maging masaya, hindi para maging miserable Dahil kung gusto mo lang din naman maging problemado, maraming problema ang Pilipinas na pwede **** atupagin Kung nagmamahal ka na lang para masaktan at makasakit, hindi na yan pagmamahal Ang pagmamahal ay hindi katumbas ng pagpapakatanga Oo, may mga bagay na magagawa mo lang dahil sa pag-ibig Pero kung magpapaka-tanga ka na rin lang, hindi mo ba mas gugustuhin na matuto at malaman ang mga mas importanteng bagay sa mundo? Totoo nga, there's more to life than love Hindi mo kailangan madaliin ang pag-ibig dahil marami pang pwedeng mangyari sa buhay mo Marami ka pang makikilala 'Wag **** paikutin ang mundo mo sa isang tao na walang kasiguraduhan na magtatagal sa buhay mo Bakit hindi mo muna buuin ang sarili mo hanggang sa dumating ang taong magmamahal sa'yo na kapantay ng pagmamahal na kaya **** ibigay?

48

From the day I met you I knew you had something in you That would make me smile Without you doing anything I never thought I would think about you this way That I would care for you That I would cry for you That I would fall for you That I would actually write about you That I would dream about you and me I fell hard It made me both happy and sad It hurt a lot, of course You were there to catch me, but not to keep me I couldn't complain I couldn't demand anything from you I couldn't ask for anything more than friendship And it's alright, because that's where we could last longer Just like what one poem said "I know what we are, and I know what we're not" And that's alright Having you in my life is certainly more than enough What makes it difficult for me is the fact that I am the person who's always unsure of everything But when it comes to you, I am more than sure that it is you Whom I want to take the risk for Whom I want to give all my efforts to Whom I want to take care of Whom I want to love without asking for anything in return My friend, It irks me how your impact in my life is very much intense It agitates me how you can do nothing yet for me, it's more than everything I hate how I get jealous over the little things when in fact I don't have the littlest right to be I hate how I love you and how I am willing to do anything for you Just to make you happy And make you forget the burdens in your life But this I promise you, I will always be here To listen to you and hug you so tight Whenever you need me I will be that friend you can always run to I will be that friend you can always lean on "And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, every day I will remind you"

0

Aug 26, 2016

Aug 26, 2016 at 9:26 PM UTC

The Tenses of How I Feel For You

From the day I met you I knew you had something in you That would make me smile Without you doing anything I never thought I would think about you this way That I would care for you That I would cry for you That I would fall for you That I would actually write about you That I would dream about you and me I fell hard It made me both happy and sad It hurt a lot, of course You were there to catch me, but not to keep me I couldn't complain I couldn't demand anything from you I couldn't ask for anything more than friendship And it's alright, because that's where we could last longer Just like what one poem said "I know what we are, and I know what we're not" And that's alright Having you in my life is certainly more than enough What makes it difficult for me is the fact that I am the person who's always unsure of everything But when it comes to you, I am more than sure that it is you Whom I want to take the risk for Whom I want to give all my efforts to Whom I want to take care of Whom I want to love without asking for anything in return My friend, It irks me how your impact in my life is very much intense It agitates me how you can do nothing yet for me, it's more than everything I hate how I get jealous over the little things when in fact I don't have the littlest right to be I hate how I love you and how I am willing to do anything for you Just to make you happy And make you forget the burdens in your life But this I promise you, I will always be here To listen to you and hug you so tight Whenever you need me I will be that friend you can always run to I will be that friend you can always lean on "And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, every day I will remind you"

43

I used to be a cheerful girl My friends when I was younger described me as "jolly" But I grew up as a ********* I explored the world of pain, I traveled the road of sorrow I cried myself to sleep and woke up with heavy bags under my eyes One day I realized I was depressed I even became suicidal and my friends didn't like it of course They wanted to understand me but even I couldn't understand myself Sure, I am surrounded with the people who care about me But maybe, I am better off alone Alone in my world where I won't bother anyone, only myself And now I am isolating myself, keeping everything in private Having Facebook for academic purposes only because apparently, ultimate self-expression is not allowed there anymore Having Twitter and Instagram and other social networking ***** I mean sites, just for the sake of keeping the memories But really, if I wasn't very sentimental, I would have deactivated every single account I have on the internet The cheerful girl that I used to be is trapped inside the sad person I have become I've been choosing happiness as much as I've been fighting depression It's true that one's self is responsible for making decisions but in my case, it's not because I chose to be like this The mess I have become was beyond my control "Choose happiness, fight depression" Sure, sure. As if it is that easy. IF IT WAS EASY, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY. I hate myself. For being weak. For being a coward. For being so stubborn. For being stupid. For being myself. Will sorry ever be enough? Can being a human be an excuse? Will my depressed self ever find that cheerful girl? That girl who used to have a lot of dreams That girl who used to live life to the fullest That girl who used to laugh all the time, even at the littlest things That girl who used to have such a big heart That girl who used to be happy Or maybe, just maybe, she's just really... gone, gone, and gone.

0

Jan 21, 2016

Jan 21, 2016 at 12:57 PM UTC

I Was Once Happy

I used to be a cheerful girl My friends when I was younger described me as "jolly" But I grew up as a ********* I explored the world of pain, I traveled the road of sorrow I cried myself to sleep and woke up with heavy bags under my eyes One day I realized I was depressed I even became suicidal and my friends didn't like it of course They wanted to understand me but even I couldn't understand myself Sure, I am surrounded with the people who care about me But maybe, I am better off alone Alone in my world where I won't bother anyone, only myself And now I am isolating myself, keeping everything in private Having Facebook for academic purposes only because apparently, ultimate self-expression is not allowed there anymore Having Twitter and Instagram and other social networking ***** I mean sites, just for the sake of keeping the memories But really, if I wasn't very sentimental, I would have deactivated every single account I have on the internet The cheerful girl that I used to be is trapped inside the sad person I have become I've been choosing happiness as much as I've been fighting depression It's true that one's self is responsible for making decisions but in my case, it's not because I chose to be like this The mess I have become was beyond my control "Choose happiness, fight depression" Sure, sure. As if it is that easy. IF IT WAS EASY, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY. I hate myself. For being weak. For being a coward. For being so stubborn. For being stupid. For being myself. Will sorry ever be enough? Can being a human be an excuse? Will my depressed self ever find that cheerful girl? That girl who used to have a lot of dreams That girl who used to live life to the fullest That girl who used to laugh all the time, even at the littlest things That girl who used to have such a big heart That girl who used to be happy Or maybe, just maybe, she's just really... gone, gone, and gone.

37

Your family never really liked me They thought of me as a bad influence to you They thought of our relationship as unhealthy In my defense, they never really knew about me I tried reaching out, I put away my pride just to get closer to them But I only embarrassed myself In the end, I was just a fool Trying to be accepted by them, trying to be loved by them I am thankful though Because at least they were courteous and nice enough To talk to me when I'm around For me it was awkward It felt like they were just waiting for me to make mistakes Just to prove that I really am not the right one for you

0

Jan 15, 2016

Jan 15, 2016 at 4:16 AM UTC

I long for your family's acceptance

Your family never really liked me They thought of me as a bad influence to you They thought of our relationship as unhealthy In my defense, they never really knew about me I tried reaching out, I put away my pride just to get closer to them But I only embarrassed myself In the end, I was just a fool Trying to be accepted by them, trying to be loved by them I am thankful though Because at least they were courteous and nice enough To talk to me when I'm around For me it was awkward It felt like they were just waiting for me to make mistakes Just to prove that I really am not the right one for you

14