The rich sense of loss
as I survey the squandered potential
of my degenerate life.
Poetry and music.
Women are intoxicated by me, and
men ascribe wisdom and courage to me.
Yet I sleep behind a dumpster each night,
unable to reconcile to the enterprise
of life
when the music stops and the laughter falls silent.
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 2:18 PM UTC
The first time I thought about peeking at your social media,
but then didn't.
That was the moment it was over.
That was the moment I became my own again.
Jun 28, 2017
Jun 28, 2017 at 1:16 PM UTC
Your shine hides from your own view,
Storm clouds behind those pale eyes.
Yet you rise, silver skies above each day.
How you miss it is missing to me,
Mystery shadows through your window sill
To lay on the floor dust of your soul.
Smiling at the vision, I shake my head, turning away.
I've answered this riddle for myself,
And know what to burn to light my own path.
The question itself is the darkness.
This poem is dedicated to the girl with the invisible light:
Someday you'll blind yourself, and know I was right.
I regret that it's not today.
May 27, 2016
May 27, 2016 at 7:58 AM UTC
I remember the taste of salt on our lips as we kissed,
The tears streaking our faces as our mouths met for the very last time.
Secret and forbidden, we had agreed for some while that we would have to walk it back;
But only now had the time for goodbye come upon us.
She was wearing rose oil and her black wool coat and her hair was a dark fountain pouring down her shoulders.
We turned, parted. A foot. Three yards. Fifty paces; with each step my spirit drained from me and became ephemera.
I thought, if this is what life can make us to feel sometimes…I want no more of it.
Finding an alleyway, I mashed my fists against the bricks until they were slick with blood;
a homeless man turned the corner and found me.
Graciously silent, his face was sad for me as he watched me on my knees making sounds like an expiring animal,
every moan, every bark, every growl a testimony from my heart:
I love her
I love her
I love her
Like a movie, she took a job two times zones away, and
I stayed behind to become a hollow shell,
the world washed in sepia.
I tried to cleanse her from my soul; I would lift my eyes and find the sunrise, raise my jaw against the wind.
But every short brunette in the morning coffee shop line, every cream-colored sedan,
every vibration from my phone
was another taste of unrequited hope, and
I would have to start over.
She would return to me at unexpected times.
Sometimes between the pages of a book, or a clever ensemble on a busy sidewalk,
or in the lyrics from a song…
If you leave…don’t look back.
I heard of the accident in a crowded bar, her and her fiancée, from a friend who didn’t know any better;
No one knew any better.
Nor did they know what to do,
or say,
or why…
as I faltered and fell to a knee in between the pool tables in back,
my hand clamped over my eyes as if the tears would be stayed.
I never visited the piece of stone that bore her name.
Her spirit already whispered it as it haunted my heart.
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 12:37 AM UTC
Articulate with hate
Solidified with lies.
You die!
Tended to by flies.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 11:38 PM UTC
Blue cupid played in moonlit kitchen
Reached for beers at the same time
Mouths shared shyly in approval of each other
Went back to the group regretting this secret had not more to hide.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 11:36 PM UTC
Whiskey seven methadrine man
slides filterless cigarettes across table
feels weight of .45 in shoulder holster
sneers knowing that between the two of them,
he's the bad one.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 11:35 PM UTC