I loved you.
_Yes, I did._
But I should’ve known better than to have believed the web of lies you sprouted at me. I should’ve known better than to believe your “I love you.”
_Why did I take that bite from the apple, if only I had known it was poisoned._
My mother warned me about strangers with blue eyes walking down the street. She said that was why she was protecting me.
_I should've never let down my golden hair, if only I had known._
It didn’t have to wait until the clock struck 12:00 midnight for it to happen; bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, I’ll have to hand it to you, you really had me fooled.
_You were never Charming, I needed to be my own Prince._
I’m stuck in a timeless blank, neither moving forward nor back, a canvas that has not been painted yet and sadness is the only color I know.
_I’m afraid I don’t have much patience to wait for a 100 years for true love’s first kiss._
A thousand times you tore my walls down, tore me apart and even when I’m at a chokehold, I thought it was still love.
_Maybe I was a fool to have thought there was beauty in the beast._
I traded my heart for something temporary, I lost my voice just to let you step all over me, and some part of me hates that I’d still let you if we were to try all over again.
_I’ve become the foam of bubbles lost in the sea because I couldn’t hurt you the way you hurt everyone._
Jul 20, 2019
Jul 20, 2019 at 11:54 PM UTC
I am...
the kind of abandoned house
people leave in ruins.
I am a wreckage;
I am destruction
the end of the **** of a cigarette
people step on the moment they're done with.
I am the poison they inhaled;
I am discarded
the type of crack on pavements
people walk around to avoid tripping over.
I am a trap;
I am dangerous
the kind of toy broken beyond use,
parents throw away into the bin
I am trash;
I am worthless
but the house was once filled with laughter and joy
the cigarette was once lit
the pavements were once whole
the toy was once valuable
i was onced LOVED
i was WORTHY
I once LIVED
Was.
Past tense.
No longer.
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 4:13 AM UTC
I have my doubts when you're not here
But they fade away when you appear
At times I feel like you don't care
Then you prove me wrong when you are there
You say sweet things for one minute
The next it's like I don't exist
I'm so confused, what should I do?
I lose my sleep with thoughts of you
"I'm happy with you" that's what you said
But then you say I make you mad
At times you'd walk away from me
You'd crawl back later and say "Sorry"
You treat me like I don't mean anything
You say my flaws are what you're hating
Later you tell me I'm perfect like this
It's not my fault I'm weak to the beasts
Sometimes I want you to leave me alone
But then all night I'd stare at my phone
I want you bad but I hate the pain
It's like I'm drowning in the pouring rain
I'm never sure of what you want
You make me want to get up and run
I love you too much to let you go
But please, I beg you, don't give me false hope
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 10:42 PM UTC
I'm sorry your hands had to leave bruises on my skin
and that my love breaks your ribs.
I'm sorry for the bruises I made in your heart
and for the lies I told with the same lips you tasted.
I'm sorry for the bruises I bore in my heart
and for the storm I brought to your mind.
I'm sorry for the bruises I left in your life,
and made you see my chaos with your eyes.
I'm sorry for the bruises made from holding onto you too tight,
and for the hate that filled your lungs.
I'm sorry for the bruises I can't erase
I'm sorry for the bruises old scars replaced.
I'm sorry for the bruises my fingertips left
I'm sorry for the bruises my lips marked on yours
I'm sorry for the bruises on your wrists with my handprints
I'm sorry for the bruises that took your breath away.
I'm sorry for the bruises.
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 10:40 PM UTC
of bruised skin
and tear-filled eyes,
of empty palms
and tired smiles
of raging waves
and endless storms
of aching heart,
a rose with thorns
of burning heat
from walls to fist
with ash-filled lungs
and fractured ribs
I cannot breathe;
it's suffocation
I cannot live;
this is depression
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
I walk down the hallway, keeping my head bowed low
No one looked my way, no one said "hello"
So many people, but they didn't know I was there
Invisible I seemed, to all everywhere
Going into class, I went to take my place
Nobody saw me, nobody recognized my face
It kinda looked like I was part of the four walls
Figuring I seemed a ghost, like I was in the hall
I shrugged and closed my eyes shut tightly
Could it be that no one can hear nor see me?
Answers were received for the rest of the day
Nothing I do seemed to make people look my way
This goes to show how unimportant I am
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 4:28 AM UTC
You told me my lips was filled with love and sweetness
I don't tell you yours was boredom and pity.
You told me that my lips felt like regrets and bitterness
I don't tell you that yours taste of cigarettes and her.
You asked me why my hugs are cold and distant
I don't tell you it's because your arms don't feel like home.
I asked you why your eyes are ice cold over time
But I don't tell you why the stars are dead in mine.
You ask me while I wear a smile like a funeral
I don't ask you why yours is a copy-and-paste.
You said it sounded like goodbye when I said I love you
I don't tell you yours sounded like an apology.
You told me not to leave when I said goodbye
I don't tell you you're already half-way out the door.
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
1. once upon a time, on this lone isle
Before you came along, I only knew the definition of "I" and thought happiness was a taste I'd never experience. My life was a monotonous routine of black-and-white I didn't want interrupted but I always wondered why nobody stayed after the first "hello". Maybe it was the way the grey clouds hung above my head, or the way I breathed in chemicals and toxic the same way they breathed in the morning air as it wakes up with them.
2. i only knew the color grey until i saw your smile
Then you came, barrelling in with the missing "you and" piece to add to my vocabulary in the palms of your hands. You added colours to my colourless days and my routine changed when I find myself turning around to see this wide-eyed child standing before me with that impish grin; I'd never forget that day. You drove the storm away with every footstep you took closer to me while the sun and clear, blue skies followed you around as if they're attached to you and I don't stop you.
3. suddenly love songs began to play
Somewhere along the lines of "my life changed because of you" came poems dedicated to you and my favorite was about the times cuddled up with you, feet tangled, under the bedsheets with your lips burning my skin with passion. Your voice was my lullaby every night and I was your shelter from the shadows. Little things like a peck on the forehead and a hug from the back followed by a light squeeze was better than romantic dinners or bouquets or roses.
4. i should've known your heart would stray
Your fingers would splay out to the open sky, wondering why we were unable to grasp at the world when my world was having your arms around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder and cheek pressed against mine. Maybe that was when I should've noticed you wanted to explore the galaxy but I was keeping you trapped within the chambers of my heart. I should've noticed how your heart began to wander and how the shadows from my fingertips began to strangle the sun in you.
5. our love is not meant for happy endings
The days were growing old and I found myself sinking back to the colourless days while you sat on my shelf along with the toys I used to play with as a child; battered, ***** torn and left to collect dust. I thought I faded back in the old days but for you, it was worse, you were forgotten even in the present. Tick tock, time flew by. I told you that I love you but you told me it sounded like I was saying goodbye and I don't tell you that yours sounded like an apology.
6. how do you say goodbye to the memories?
And maybe we loved at the wrong time, or maybe we're not right for each other. You never looked back and I'm trying to erase the memories from my mind but I think I may have used permanent marker instead of pencil because they refuse to be erased. Now there's something about the sky and how the grey clouds roll in the same time the wind whispers your name into my mind and the pitter-patter of the falling rain against my window reminds me of the time when I lost you.
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 2:48 AM UTC
Romeo, Romeo, you ain't my Prince Charming
Time to wake up, time to stop dreaming
I was too blindly in love, that I just couldn't see
That Romeo, my dear, you never loved me.
Deceived and betrayed, my heart is in two
Feeling like it's always the day of April's Fool
So dear sweet Romeo, just watch me crash and burn
Besides, I know you think that it's none of your concern.
Romeo, Romeo, didn't you know I loved you?
Didn't you know I'd do most anything for you?
Now dear Romeo, it's too late, I'm gone.
It's been long, but now, my heart must move on.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 9:20 AM UTC
Fall in love with the girl
Who smiles sunshine and laughs like spring
Stay away from her
Whose eyes are like death
The girl with the broken smile
Burns everything with her fingertips
But she who skips in joy
Leaves footprints that light up a path with every step
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 1:21 PM UTC