at what point does one
become tired of living
and simply exist
Jan 5, 2022
Jan 5, 2022 at 7:25 PM UTC
I wish people could understand
That sometimes things don't go as planned
And that I'll always try to hide
The things I feel deep down inside
I wish people could understand
That's sometimes being true is hard
That sticking to the rules is bland
So let this all become freehand
I wish they know
That it's possible to
Like boys and girls
And still be you
To be bi in a world
Where straight is the norm
To be wild and untamed
When people conform
That it's possible to
Be 'smart' and suicidal
That comfort doesn't make one
Want to keep their vitals
That just because I smile
Doesn't mean it's all fine
That I can hate my life
And still act in line
So please understand
Don't judge, don't sigh
I want you to know
That I really try
To be normal and stuff
To not scream and cry
To act like I'm still
A really good child
But before you judge
Keep this in mind
I'll keep killing myself
Until everyone thinks I'm fine
Apr 30, 2021
Apr 30, 2021 at 7:59 AM UTC
the sun is still sleeping
but I am not
I lie awake
having just returned
from the land of dreams
my skin is cool
for now, my monsters are silent
maybe
just maybe
today will be a good day
Apr 25, 2021
Apr 25, 2021 at 11:17 PM UTC
it's hard when
you finally understand yourself
but then realise
no one will ever accept you
for who you are
Apr 25, 2021
Apr 25, 2021 at 3:10 PM UTC
I don't know why
My self-hatred is this high
Or why I can't seem to cry
Or why I say "I'm fine"
When it's clearly a lie
I don't know why
Some people say I'm awesome
While others say I'm lonesome
Or why some say I'm warm
While others look at me with scorn
I don't know why
I loathe my reflection
Think I don't deserve affection
And have constant thoughts
Of pain and self-infliction
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I hate this
Someone make it stop, please
Sep 10, 2020
Sep 10, 2020 at 3:35 PM UTC
flowers, feelings
lies and heathens
chimes of bells and the uproar it quells
ribbons, dresses
hair and tresses
dainty feet and their graceful beat
darkness, fears
insomnia and tears
the thoughts I have and my sanity it halves
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 6:06 PM UTC
I thought about you
But I wasn't sure if I wanted you
But then you came
And drove a panic attack into my brain
I couldn't control myself anymore
I thought you'd stay around a lot more
I was managing, faking that I was fine
But then you left again
Something tells me this won't be the last time
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 11:05 AM UTC
Did you even bother to listen?
Did you really hear my words?
Or did you just judge me?
Once upon a time, I thought you cared
I thought you loved me
But you never did
You taught me a lot, you made me smile
You made me feel important
For a while
But your anime-like eyes turned dark and cold
Skin so soft and smooth turned rough
Sharp was your tongue as it cut me
Deep were the wounds that you made
Now, you stay there
A lack of emotion all over your face
Now, you just stay there and watch me bleed
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 4:13 PM UTC