it is about time that i say goodbye to you.
it is about time that i separate myself from the memories,
and accept the truth;
that our past was far too toxic and far too much for us to carry.
i, willingly making it all work,
you, constantly talking about change.
at the end of the day, this love story would never work my dear;
you and i are worlds apart, regardless of being in the same lifetime.
my heart broke and bent for you hundreds of times over;
something you were completely unable to do but took all credit for.
this is cheers to the end of our story, the finale of this book.
thank you for everything you've taught me,
you have made me completely anew.
here's to turning a new page in this painful lifetime, too.
Jun 6, 2019
Jun 6, 2019 at 9:12 PM UTC
i had undoubtedly loved you, unlike the way i had loved myself. i had given you parts of myself which were unrecognizable to me. i had breathed life into your heart, and soul into your mind. you left me unattended and i was always anxious for you. unbelievably, i had fallen in love with you, somehow. i questioned my form of love, unexpected, and not deserved. i always wondered upon the idea of love, whether it was a myth, or something only few are so privileged to find. becoming anxious with loving you, i began to hate myself. i began to worry about the person i was, and the person i would be. the way i loved you, i believe it was only a tiny amount that belonged to you. perhaps i had fallen in love with the idea that i was able to love even after so much pain was inflicted upon me. as if i were capable of something so good, yet so dangerous. this idea of unconditional love poisons your state of mind entirely, leaving you to always question yourself. my mind continues to whisper to me, "love is false", and though i was reluctant to believe such a thing, my mind is convinced that it is true. love does not exist beyond my capability, and no one will ever be able to love me fully. and this breaks me, as i am so in love with the idea of human love, but knowingly enough, i must accept my fate. no love will ever exist for the mess that i am inside.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 4:09 PM UTC
your words are as empty as the craters of the moon.
barren and desolate.
your shine, only reflecting off of what truly is.
who are you?
why do you like to hurt me?
please,
no more,
my heart yearns,
drained of its blood.
i am now the emptiness of space, holding you up, and you ignorantly continuing to shine light that does not belong to you.
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 11:01 PM UTC
i could feel the fire burning through you
when you see me pass by.
i'm sorry if i ever hurt you,
it wasn't my intention to make you cry.
i once held you close to my heart,
a shoulder for you to sleep.
and now it's like two strangers,
memories thrown into the blue deep.
i miss you, truth be told,
because you once were my all.
and now the leaves are coming down,
it is here, the season of fall.
the leaves have died,
the warm wind has become cold.
you have become a nobody,
from a somebody i had loved to hold.
the embers are now dead,
the trees are now bare.
there may be a spark,
but truly, i don't think you would care.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 11:40 AM UTC
we need space.
what is space?
the space in which i reside in.
the space in which the world exists.
space, the universe.
space is where the star collides.
space is where there is you and i.
unity of time.
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 12:23 AM UTC
love doesn't cost anything
but a penny, a nickel, and a quarter.
a lucky penny, breaking the odds of rigid reality.
the nickel i found near your bed, after making love to you.
and a quarter, because all it took to fall in love with you was the first fourth of a second you held my hand.
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
i loved you so much, i didn’t realize i had forgotten what it felt to love myself.
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 11:38 AM UTC
to learn to speak is a trait we gain at school.
we are taught the alphabet from a young age,
how to sound out letters, and spell out difficult words.
we then learn to read our favourite books, and beg mami to read it late at night, a towel wrapped around her dark hair.
eventually, we begin to read novels,
long and adventurous,
that allow us to escape our pain and morbid thoughts.
pain was like a ship, it sailed heavy seas,
eventually, ending its course, and drowned.
my pain disappeared with every rustling page,
seeping through the lines, and hiding at the bottom of the page.
to speak these words out loud is a power i hold, capable of reciting
the story by heart.
to speak, to move my tongue is magic.
to speak, to narrate stories of stars and skies.
to speak, to think.
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 1:22 PM UTC
you once told me you would care for me,
and hold me close to your heart.
you also told me that you would love me,
like a painter loves his art.
i was careless and foolish, and fell for such pleasures.
slightly unsure of all the unmistakable measures.
clearly, you were lustful and unsatisfied with whom i was;
your true colours, they showed, eventually, through fuss.
we fought, and we fought; i cried, and i wept.
it never mattered to you, and so you snored and you slept.
i felt alone, and i felt unsure,
but my love for you continued to grow.
a flower blossomed within my heart,
but sadly only my tears kept it alive.
within days, the flower slowly wilted;
i felt my life, it kind of shifted.
from seeing the sun when i held your hand,
to feeling a storm destroying my land.
i felt its presence cry out to me,
that my love was pure,
but yours was a poisonous tea.
waiting to slither down my throat, until it reaches my heart,
where it targets every inch and every part.
you truly deflowered what was once so beautiful,
but how can i blame you, when i was the one with the illusion.
Aug 5, 2017
Aug 5, 2017 at 3:25 AM UTC
let me explain to you how my love story went.
it was nothing to brag of, yet something to vent.
i was young, and i was free,
thinking of today, and tomorrow just a dream.
you brought to me sunshine on my brightest days,
filling me with an extreme happiness, all through your ways.
yet, during the storm, you would begin to rage.
questioning why i would act this way at my age.
questioning my maturity, questioning my love,
questioning why i would never put you above.
you saw yourself to be mighty, and worthy,
placing me under your flooding sea.
day by day, sun by rain,
i felt less love, and more so pain.
less kisses, more fights,
more secrets, less sights.
we went from so close to opposite poles,
with our relationship deteriorating by holes.
hello's spoken only at audible measures,
now both dust, and once both treasures.
i seek to understand just where we went wrong,
and if we could together, to ever belong.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 10:21 PM UTC