today i felt the rush
of a sharp
aching
tender
deep
hopeless
night
from which there bloomed
a pain so insane
i spent a day putting
it all away, shoving
crying, sobbing, sniffing
oh, and it felt like killing
an old dear friend,
putting a bullet in
my brain ,
in my chest
and i could not breathe
it hurts now
but in a way
i feel free
in such a torn way;
paper crushed and
shredded
nothing left
in the search of
sanity.
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 25, 2017 at 11:28 PM UTC
I hate to say it
but you're all I need
I hate to visit
but you've become my creed
I hate to face it
but no one takes heed
I know that I should
stop
If only it could
stop
If only you weren't the only one there
like salt water in the desert
like smoke in the air
like the hurt i can't avert
you make me feel raw and bare
the only feeling alert
that my breathing is fair
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 2:32 PM UTC
I cry
Until my eyes become dry
I lay
Until the dreams wear away
and repeat
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
The sadness won't go away
it comes in the morning, grabs me by the throat, threatens my life, and then leaves. I ask why.
"Why can't you leave me? Why can't you let me leave?"
I put on my mask.
The craziest one. I'm in no mood to put up with life and its disappointments.
I need my high.
I put on my high pitched voice and leave with a heavy heart, dripping with blood.
I can't say the sadness leaves but laughing extra loudly and making others laugh often helps.
After the exhaustion of the day; of living, it lays on my shoulders and brings me down. The mask wears away and the "happy high" leaves.
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 8:53 PM UTC
its hard having the stain
always having to bear the pain
and never being able to complain
acting as if everything is plain
and simple but it is impossible
its vain
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
Love is a proportion
Of the feeling someone has
People don't understand;
You may not understand;
All people understand is what they "know"
All you know is what you feel
They sum it up, depending on what they "know"
And call it love, or they call it crazy.
But I have come to realize
That, that is love;
It is crazy
You have feelings you cannot explain
No matter what
It is like describing a color of something to a blind person
Feelings are messy and messed up
Ever since you came, I have found out this:
There is more than love
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 4:44 PM UTC
The heaviness of my heart is unbearable
The way you look at her
Adds weight to my shoulders
The way you smile to her
You would say I was jealous
But my heart will tell you different
The heart aches
The tears flow
The way you look at her is so beautiful
Your stare bleeds through your face
Tears my heart apart
The edges of your stare claws at my heart
It cuts deeply and blood draws
Your stare is magnificent
But the magnificence isn't for me to see
You are not looking at me
Yet I feel your stare
And I see your eyes
Oh, the things I bear
I see your smiles
The corner of your lips
Carve a frown on my face
And the frown carves a hole in my heart.
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 12:06 AM UTC
They were walking side by side
As the wind whispered their secrets into their ears
As the truths were all they thought about
As the moon watched over them
As they gray sky looked down at them
They talked
They walked
They laughed
But inside they knew they were crying
It might have been funny
What they spoke of that distracted them
But it was not funny enough
The saddness still settled on their minds
Making their thoughts heavy
Their shoulders slump
Their emotions dramaticly fake
Their tears, smiles
Their eyes, peddles
Their bodies numb
Their mind sick
The saddness was a heavy rock on both their shoulders
A massive weight
Making them collapse
They spoke of how the sadness has effected them
The problems
Making them broken
"I'm not broken," the younger one said
She was smiling
pretending she was telling the truth
She wasn't
She was joking
Afraid her sadness was extra weight onto others, if they knew
"Yes, you are. You're always mad," the older one says
Knowing something was wrong with her, too
Yet, not knowing how torn she really is
Not even close
"Being mad, is how I show happiness," she says
"You're messed up," says the older one
"No, I'm not mad, I mean--a grumpy sound-- I am happy..you see? That's just how I show it," jokingly, insisting
They laughed
But she was so broken
She was so lost
She was so alone
She feels life slipping out of reach
Losing herself
She has no clue what to do with herself
The gray skys watch
And there was no moon watching
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 1:42 AM UTC
I would wait a million years
I would cry a million seas
I would tame the wild
I would cross a million oceans
I would reach a bright star
I would do anything
To reach you
But the truth is: I need you
More than ever
The truth is you are my sanity
The truth is I could not wait a hundred years
The truth is I cannot cry a sea
The truth is I cannot tame a dog
The truth is I cannot cross a lake
The truth is I cannot touch the sky
Truth is I would if could
But I would still try to
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 1:25 AM UTC
*When water is all you love
Come to me
When all you do is love
Come to me
When all you do is be you
Come to me
When all you do is bleed
Come to me
When all you do is hurt
Come to me
When you do is human
Come to me*
Oh, dear, it all escalated, didn't it?
But now I know you are pure, and love, and human
Come to me, that's all I'll ever need
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:44 PM UTC