love and self respect twined into the rope
surrounded by a toxic cloud of vagueness.
I am the riff-raff of my own heart
my own dishonesty to myself has increased the remorseless presentiment in my soul
my reactions drowned in vain
as he whispered the words that i have so often used on all the wrong faces
my heart was taped together with duct tape
...still some pieces were missing
my heart was not "ripped in half"
it was set a blaze, tortured and hung
left looking in the mirror at its own worthless reflection...
...how can a heart like that ever love again?
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 9:26 PM UTC
love and self respect twined into the rope
surrounded by a toxic cloud of vagueness.
I am the riff-raff of my own heart
my own dishonesty to myself has increased the remorseless presentiment in my soul
my reactions drowned in vain
as he whispered the words that i have so often used on all the wrong faces
my heart was taped together with duct tape
...still some pieces were missing
my heart was not "ripped in half"
it was set a blaze, tortured and hung
left looking in the mirror at its own worthless reflection...
...how can a heart like that ever love again?
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 9:25 PM UTC
In only a few hours I will be on a plane,
traveling to a part of the world
that I've never been.
I can't help but to wonder if this place
will become my soul mate,
this city,
my groom.
Will I fall in love with the lights?
Will I dream of the noise?
Will I wish to stay there until I grow old?
Will I be willing to leave behind the walls of the suburbs that I've grown to loathe? Waking up to the same picture outside of my window. Going through the same motions everyday.
My life is a song on repeat.
The desire for change, the ache for adventure burns inside of me.
The world is a treasure to discover, and your scenery should never stay the same.
Maybe in this city I will find myself. After all, isn't that what we are all trying to do?
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 10:30 AM UTC
how do I know that this time it will be different?
how do I know that the things about me that drove him away, won't drive you away?
how do I know that you won't just give up when it gets hard?
like him.
how do I know your love won't run out?
his did.
how do I know you're not the man I will spend the rest of my life with?
I don't.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 10:53 PM UTC
There was a brief moment
when your head was on my shoulder
and all I could think about
was how that's something I take for granted.
Not you, necessarily, but
the way you hold me
the way you put your head on my shoulder
the way you look at me
It all makes me feel so strongly for you
because it's in those moments
I know you feel the
same way too.
~pw
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 11:07 PM UTC
They compare it to darkness.
This feeling that consumes me.
But it isn't "darkness"
I am aware of myself in the dark,
but when I close my eyes
I am not "just"
I am "nothing"
Confusion, exhaustion
I am lost
Where are you?
Where am I?
c o m e t o m e
Show me the way.
Pull me from the pit of my tragedies
Save me from myself
Light. Glorious light.
High above me
t o o h i g h
I cannot reach
so here I remain
~pw
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 5:30 PM UTC
By the power
of the cross
my life is
s a v e d
~pw
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 5:23 PM UTC
I didn't want to say it
I didn't want to choose
I knew it was the end...
The end of me and you
I knew if i moved on
I never would forget
But staying there another moment
would become my biggest regret
I guess it wasn't love
that feeling that we shared
because our "love" just ended
but it seemed you didn't care
You say you're doing better
I say I'm doing well
but my heart is ripped in half
I hope that you can't tell
Wait, I take that back
I desperately hope you do
I've been starring at you all night
If you'd just look, you'd get a clue
You were the first boy I ever imagined
standing at the end of the isle
but heartbreak has smeared that vision
and has washed away my smile
All the time we spent together
I hope you always knew
just how much you meant to me
and how much I meant to you
I never will look back on us
and say it was a waste
You were my rock and shield
and my home was your embrace.
Looking at you now I see
that you really are something unique
we felt so strongly for each other
and your memory I'll always keep
So please don't forget me when you go
because I won't be forgetting you
Remember our every moment
because love like ours is few
I didn't want to say it
I didn't want to cry
but that night we ended...
we ended with goodbye.
~pw
Oct 26, 2013
Oct 26, 2013 at 1:30 AM UTC
I told you that night
I think I love you
Though I'm not sure I knew
What it meant.
You were cute
And you were fun
And you were kind.
So I thought I loved you.
I liked the way
You smiled when you talked
You bounced when you walked
And so I thought I loved you.
A year is a selfish thing.
Winter to Spring.
Losing everything,
Just to gain it all back.
But us, it pushes along.
And we never get a second chance.
In that year we realized,
How different we truly were.
How the things that drew us together,
Were the things we didn't want.
But we held our tongues,
And we slowly widened the gap,
Which was promptly filled,
By our silence.
I thought I loved you.
So I held you in my arms,
And I whispered in your ear,
And I wondered if it was a lie,
If I didn't know the truth.
Oct 26, 2013
Oct 26, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
The little girl inside of me
is someone that i used to be.
Beautiful, friendly, small and free,
that's someone that i used to be.
She dance and sang and laugh and played.
Her heart was big and she was never afraid.
She loved everything and everyone
and her eyes were as bright as the morning sun.
She was a friend of Jesus, and a daughter of God.
She prayed all day and never thought it was odd.
In her perfect world, she was one and only,
but years piled on and she became very lonely.
Jesus seemed distant even though he was always by her side.
She sat alone in her room and every night she cried.
She made mistakes again and again,
trying to change while Satin kept pulling her in.
As she got older, things became much worse.
She tried to ask for forgiveness and to put Christ first,
but the more she noticed her sins and the bad things she had done,
it hurt her so badly and she felt she had no place to run.
She became someone she never thought she'd be.
That someone she became
is me.
~pw
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC