It's getting old;
these anecdotes
of grief and pain.
Solutions silenced
to entertain.
Yet who am I
to obstain
when 6 years ago
feels like yesterday.
Chasing echos of laughter
as you fade away
into our past;
into my future.
Older than you,
but born as your junior.
I'd let the wound heal,
but I'd rather tear out the sutures.
Dabbling with the same mentality
that turned you into a user.
Oh Brother,
Oh Brother,
I'm addicted to
my memories of you.
Pausing my cause
to reflect on your loss.
And I'm still here,
6 years later,
motionless in fear.
Trying to make sense,
while refusing to forget
what I can't quite remember.
Jun 17, 2017
Jun 17, 2017 at 7:00 PM UTC
What's left is what's underneath;
Living life between peaks of sanity.
Too lost to rediscover those thoughts;
In an instant, Humanity...
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017 at 3:56 PM UTC
Facing backwards on this track of sunsets;
Straining to see the significance of each step.
How did I get here?
Chasing the scent of who I used to be;
Lacking definition, but I knew my meaning.
Change was imminent, yet I'd remain unique.
Now those days seem like the peak
of my potential.
A painful reminder of what I'll never know.
My present self resides
in the time between then and why.
Stuck in an infinite loop of what I didn't do;
The price to pay for a world without you.
Originally a trilogy,
this disbanded energy
effects my ability to see
beyond...
Dec 28, 2016
Dec 28, 2016 at 11:15 PM UTC
clear blue
peeking through
negative space
landscape
evergreen
wall of trees
keeps me
driving East
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 23, 2016 at 5:15 PM UTC
Stuck in the silence in between
my present self and a memory.
Desperately trying to create a hero
for a story that may never be told.
I can pinpoint the instant of uncertainty;
driving towards a fabricated persistency
just days after your final chapter.
Of course I was absorbed in my thereafter.
Despite all your failure, success, and fear;
in that moment you disappeared.
Leaving me to inherit your dismay;
a melancholy filter over the standard display.
A selfish thought towards a selfless love;
had two brothers, now I barely have one.
Constantly reminded of life’s impermanence
while searching for a perpetual state of purpose.
Dec 20, 2016
Dec 20, 2016 at 4:41 PM UTC
I knew you
before this world chewed through
your sense of self-worth
and swallowed;
Reminding you of the hollowness
inherit in this existence
as you hit each rib
on the way down.
Too proud to denounce
the things that made you this way.
Too gone to say
I’ll see you again.
Never thought I’d have to defend
my heart against
my Kin, my Brother, my Friend.
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 4:52 PM UTC
Envy of the trees
As I lack that which is all
Something to reach for
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 5:21 PM UTC
I am that forgotten voice on the edge of the earth,
Residing where the sun meets the sea.
I am the beginning and the end.
I push and pull you like the tide.
I drag you under like the current.
I drown you.
Intoxicated
Superficial
Delirium
Taste the tonic on my lips.
Quench that desert thirst.
Let me relieve you of your sailor's burden,
For I am a siren in the sea of false promises.
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 3:27 PM UTC
What a day my life has been
Wash the sin then start again
Wakes of bliss and crests of pain
Alive through feeling, all the same
Memory drowned by trauma past
The sense of self could not outlast
Scouring my soul for virtues to recall
Who was I before I became nothing at all
I taste it in the air I breathe
Hints scattered throughout the seaside scene
Yet I remain in the confines of this cave
Alone with my echoes, no new sound made
One day, soon, I’ll listen for the wind
My one true chance to sail again
Until then, I’ll sink and wait
For tomorrow's tide to bring another day
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 3:22 PM UTC
Please try to realize
that you're a mystery to me.
I can barely see past my present self,
much less put together
the puzzle pieces of everyone else.
But I try.
I ask myself, why,
constantly.
Hoping maybe I can supply
the understanding I so desperately seek.
Sometimes the woes of this world
leak into my personality.
But that’s not me.
We’re so much more
than what we’d have everyone else think.
That exposed exterior is inferior
to the interior of our individual being.
So what is it keeping us from seeing that?
Probably the same thing that blinds us
to the beauty of variety.
The attention in our eyes
is forced to compromise.
Energy wasted sifting through the lies
instead of observing what’s inside
all of us.
The glory of existence
is lost in worldly causes.
No one pausing to acknowledge
that maybe the way we think
is supported by some semblance
of reasoning.
The experiences of our parents
led them to our creation,
but we’re free from their expectations
based on irrelevant information.
We’re constantly and unconsciously
changing the way
we view the day
each day,
but don’t have the courage
to converse with those
who share in the fray.
We’ll distract ourselves
with frozen memories on phones
and videos of controlled moments,
and when the time comes
where the times don’t make much sense,
we’ll remain silent.
We’ll begin to take these thoughts
manifested in isolation
as universal truths.
And then wonder why our fellow man
is losing touch with us.
The state of our state
is not conducive to the way
we generate compassion.
So just ask them.
Take into consideration
the possibility of facts
beyond your grasp
and relapse
into that childlike ignorance
that is willing to give the unknown a chance...
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 3:06 PM UTC