hidden from view
profiles & covers
are we all fake or is it just fantasy ?
turned on or switched off, or over, like controls on an old TV
passwords & ID
friends 3 / 500 or 2052 maybe .......
lonesome ? or free,
fuelled,
connections made but never touched,
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 7:58 PM UTC
Mother loves, nurtures, feeds & cares,
Father protects - his home he shares.
Sister & brothers we eventually shed in exchange for friends and lovers, dancing together, love, fight, work, we unknowingly guide one another.
Moving swiftly through our lives the dance speeds up an increasing tide.
Driven on beyond our control, fate chooses for us new patterns, new steps, quick steps, slow ..... & like the seasons,
....... those familiar colours, beats, harmonies, for whatever reason,
quietly slip away to begin again a brand new day..... elsewhere.
Just as shiny Pebbles tossed upon an open shore, we sit and await our new direction, then as if by magic once again our hands are taken as he or she commands our gaze, they're born fresh faced and ready to rock n' roll - and if were lucky lift us gently from our once murky lonesome hole .
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 7:09 PM UTC
What is the meaning ?
why am I here ?
childless, loveless & free ....
I don't want that it just has to be me
Born & immediately expected to die ..........
a living medical miracle riding high.
50yrs on, One paw in front of another,
I'm still marching on, still marching on, marching on,
marching on, & on & on.
What's my purpose ? what's your plan ?
I keep starting over & shedding new skin,
like a Chameleon lost in a cold desert.
An underachiever was what I was told ..........
Politely removed from the education system.
Too creative.
Too much of a responsibility.
A liability.
A tie
A problem
Junior me .....
Escorted to school, from the class room
I sat and watched whilst others played below in the play ground,
I rarely ever played out.
Never naughty...... how could this be when ........
constantly tethered, my freedoms was severed.
In my room - the chaos erupted
rage whipped like broken china raining round my little heart.
why could I not be like everyone else, I scream, why did I have to be me !
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 7:51 PM UTC
I went to find the world today
but the world was busy
So I walk, alone, I walk ........ alone
Walking with my dog, rosie red berries, caught, my eye, glistening ripe in the midday sun as I trot on by,
birds chattering in the hedges,
the warm air gives a hint of spring in early Autumn.
Sky big & blue, silence & stillness,
17yrs ...... Seventeen balloons, pink paper, cake & candles, family
frolics & fun !! So much fun !!
I feel so alone, just numb,
............ they may as well be talking Chinese,
excuse me if you will, please?
Solitude - embrace it.
Who needs anything
or anyone ?
Heavy heart ......... I am one of the unwanted.
Difference makes a difference., you cannot mould that.
I sit and stare ............. no one is there, to laugh, to cry,
so I just stand by
& give in to the silence
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 7:01 PM UTC
Busy busy busy, always on red alert, your the cheekiest little flirt.
Eyes dark as the night & hair so fair.
I have known you now since just over one year ago.
You take me to the limit, you take me to the edge, full on determination, causing me much strife .....
what can I do? what should I do ? ...... I do love you
........ when your tired at night, lifeless limbs give up the fight.
Your snuggled up tight & everything seems just right.
A breathing ball of warm delight.
Tingle Tangle Tango Quango,
sweet as a ripened mango
Cunning as a fox
Black eyes peeking through ginger/fair locks.
Cheeky Scampering,darting, running, hiding, jumping,
bouncing through the dunes, splaaaaaaaashing through puddles
muddied caked paws, my four legged furry friend who loves her cuddles.
Your the cheekiest little chimp & everyones friend darting to & fro,
your wild running loose & free forever searching out the tip of an endless horizon.
My little buddy, I must let you go ....
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 7:13 PM UTC
.... warm and cold, this world hurts, cuts, stings & burns till your on your knees, an oil sodden bird nursing a punctured soul.
Hand shy tired & broken my world has become a wreck, a fractured carcass of scattered & shattered dreams.
I look up, reach out, to an ocean of people,
..... nevertheless I am drowning.
Stolen heart & short of breath, wearing a smile but its folly I'm clowning.
One slip, I trip, I tip, I fall,
like Alice spiralling into that long dank hole.
To be reborn, shut away, its dark & damp ....
I see no evil here,
nothing -
dumb & innocent as a velvet vole.
**** this world of Health & Safety
'They' hold the key - I need to be free !!!
precious hours slip through my paws, like grains of sand trickling slowly through this dreary landscape of my life.
Abandoned toys strewn from this caged cot called home.
Spangled desires, dangled & strangled, thrown up on the sand storm,
discarded by fates hand
please, someone take my hand ? and guide me through this dark n' peppered land.
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 7:53 PM UTC
- deep fish swimming through & inside me,
touch me with your soft delight.
I wait in the cool stillness., eager to bite.
Slippery words, cryptic messages, riding ******** on the wings of a starless dark night,
so near .... so far ......
your just of sight.
Midnight fishing, the moon quivers & shivers as the river is glistening,
tangerine, green & yellow phosphorescent flecks darting to & fro.
Coi ? -
no .......
a boot,
a *******
a banker,
a ******
..... will I ever thank her,
might you one day bring me an ocean of joy
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 12:06 PM UTC
I know your frustration
your choked isolation
a damaged bird
whose feathers - cut n' clipped
a fractured body constrained a wild living soul
sliced n' pierced, stripped to the chore,
heavy you display emotions so raw ....
you fought hard, cried hard, raged ! & loved.
with acceptance as your friend eventually fate found its way.
Serenity pulled you through
beautiful spirit, compassionate & brave
at such a young age you went to your grave.
Inspirational lady - my teacher, mentor & guru
Frida Kahlo
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 5:06 AM UTC
It feels strange with you not here
not quite right,
the room is still,
but for the sound of little ones, playing, squeals of delight,
it's hot,
an empty space & for some reason I am not at ease ......
Then they are gone 1 2 & 3 toddlers, gratefully to be alone.
then, my mother on the phone,
her voice calm but direct, "Mello is missing -
what ?
nothing is clear, my heads in a whirl, what did she mean ? how could this be ?
brother, rail staff, pharmacist, painter all searching but no sightings anywhere - she has gone.
Ok, I am on my way !
Brian Bridgette, Bootle, blind fear - Mello's missing - I need her here
I cannot breath, heart is pounding, a silent fog wraps itself around me,
home - I must get home
panic I become frantic, hot, traffic, car, stay calm but I am dizzy,
she'll be ok was all my friend could say.
sick to my pit, I stutter and stammer, my mind is a soup,
........ please lets not delay
midday & eventually home, I open the door, the sticky air a blanket of suffocating heat, "Mello!" I cry, MellOOOOOO, across & above the blue empty sky
nothing, no wild shaggy beast to greet me, stillness, Mum, friend, chatter, I feel sick, irritable, anxious, its true, where is my Mello ? I so love you ......
a few feet away, just over the fence a train draws into the station, the screech of heavy brakes, its murderess horn sounds twice as this metal machine slowly comes to a halt. Silence, its not reached the station.
My mother is chatting, they are blissfully unaware.
"That was Mello" I muttered to myself, that was Mello ......... I felt,
but no one was listening, no one had heard. We went into the house .......
"No, I don't want tea!"
Into the garden in search of clues, the compost is high the wall low, no genius to work out how she escaped,
stolen or did she run ? why had she gone ? after a cat or a bird or just for some fun.
Phone, Mike, Mello's gone ! -
......... what will I do, I cannot bare to consider life without you,
Your perfect my friend, my little girl, so very wise, too young to be taken, my soul mate my rock, you gave nothing but pleasure, please return to me safe & unbroken.
My ringtone sounds, "is that ......... ? there has been an incident"
A dog, white, on the track, can you come ?
Tears frozen round my heart, in shock & disbelief, oh no you've been taken
YES, a railway official, orange suit, stands waiting, he carries your carcass, she's heavy with sweat, he lays her at my feet, please leave me alone.....
I fall at her side & hug my friend, still warm she lye's silent & still, beneath the roots of the old copper beech, in the dirt, I cry, not believing but breathing.
Lifeless my best mate is slipping away,
Why, oh why???? ...... did I abandon you on the 10th July ?
RIP Mello x
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 20, 2014 at 12:31 PM UTC