pearlygirl - Hello Poetry

Always say “I love you” Before hanging up the phone, Or she will call you back And ask why you didn't say it Seems silly, but it's urgent You need to know That she always needs to hear it Put her at the top of your list Even if you are not at the top of hers It's worth it She's worth it And always will be, Tell her she's lovely On the night she drinks too much When her iceburg eyes Melts into a Titanic sized sorrow Show her love then Even if she won't remember it Don't let her fire dim Or it will burn, On the nights where your empty cavity Of a chest misses What was the best to me, I hope will be your best, too She's the most beautiful Of all blessed messes, That you don't need to clean- No, her scars and her travesty Is beautiful and she will color you Even if you are pale And unclean- Love her today Tomorrow And every moment in between Don't ever let her down, Or end up like me Wishing I said “I love you” The last time I talked to her on the phone Because this time she didn't call back And ask why I didn't

0

Nov 29, 2018

Nov 29, 2018 at 12:59 AM UTC

To whomever my best friend's new best friend is,

Always say “I love you” Before hanging up the phone, Or she will call you back And ask why you didn't say it Seems silly, but it's urgent You need to know That she always needs to hear it Put her at the top of your list Even if you are not at the top of hers It's worth it She's worth it And always will be, Tell her she's lovely On the night she drinks too much When her iceburg eyes Melts into a Titanic sized sorrow Show her love then Even if she won't remember it Don't let her fire dim Or it will burn, On the nights where your empty cavity Of a chest misses What was the best to me, I hope will be your best, too She's the most beautiful Of all blessed messes, That you don't need to clean- No, her scars and her travesty Is beautiful and she will color you Even if you are pale And unclean- Love her today Tomorrow And every moment in between Don't ever let her down, Or end up like me Wishing I said “I love you” The last time I talked to her on the phone Because this time she didn't call back And ask why I didn't

42

My addiction likes to play games with me I try to hide, but it seeks me On every occasion, or party I want to just stay home- ***** it out with a pillow Till it stops breathing As I watch too much TV, Count the drinks on the screen Like counting sheep 3 pints of ***** 2 beers 1 shot of whiskey I feel myself changing Between shifts, with no breaks in between Some work overtime, I hear my addiction breathing- 3 PINTS OF ***** 2 BEERS 1 SHOT OF WHISKEY I would tell you all about it But it’s a long story, All guts and no glory I can only talk about it when I’m drunk On too early of a morning Or when my eyes are stuck On a ceiling fan, when I spin with the room Words are fluid- like, they used to be Now my lips are a broken cocoon The words die behind a prison of teeth Just old ideas, dead memories That no one needs to hear or see Sorry I won’t be seeing you at any parties Sorry I won’t spill my guts for free Or wait for you to wave to me Hit me with the “how are you doing?” Its not that I want to hide from you, But my anxiety is looking for bullet wounds Addiction hides in the skin Of the people across the room They have been shooting looks at me, Every eye blinking my direction is lightning Its striking me; how frightening How fragile I can be, I’m sorry Maybe that’s why I plug myself into a wall I stitch my mouth shut And scream through the keyboard Because I don’t want you to stop reading, Or stop listening, Just because You don’t see me At parties

0

Nov 20, 2018

Nov 20, 2018 at 7:23 PM UTC

Hide and Seek

My addiction likes to play games with me I try to hide, but it seeks me On every occasion, or party I want to just stay home- ***** it out with a pillow Till it stops breathing As I watch too much TV, Count the drinks on the screen Like counting sheep 3 pints of ***** 2 beers 1 shot of whiskey I feel myself changing Between shifts, with no breaks in between Some work overtime, I hear my addiction breathing- 3 PINTS OF ***** 2 BEERS 1 SHOT OF WHISKEY I would tell you all about it But it’s a long story, All guts and no glory I can only talk about it when I’m drunk On too early of a morning Or when my eyes are stuck On a ceiling fan, when I spin with the room Words are fluid- like, they used to be Now my lips are a broken cocoon The words die behind a prison of teeth Just old ideas, dead memories That no one needs to hear or see Sorry I won’t be seeing you at any parties Sorry I won’t spill my guts for free Or wait for you to wave to me Hit me with the “how are you doing?” Its not that I want to hide from you, But my anxiety is looking for bullet wounds Addiction hides in the skin Of the people across the room They have been shooting looks at me, Every eye blinking my direction is lightning Its striking me; how frightening How fragile I can be, I’m sorry Maybe that’s why I plug myself into a wall I stitch my mouth shut And scream through the keyboard Because I don’t want you to stop reading, Or stop listening, Just because You don’t see me At parties

52

When you have your heartbroken for the first time, It feels your world lost one of its many wonders And you wonder how its going to spin When you have been completely thrown off your axis When he leaves you in the middle of the journey And takes the map, too But don't worry you will get there Just not anytime soon You'll float around like a hot air balloon Full of hot air, not knowing what to do Its okay if you do Its okay if you do I would be lying if I told you That the rest of your travels would be clear, Because, my dear, if it was love It doesn't disappear, for love isn't a feeling Its an atmosphere, and some clouds will move with you One road to the next, and sometimes you will take A huge breath and miss him all over again When it rains it pours; and it will pour on you You will stop in your tracks and forget where you're going Its okay if you do Its okay if you do Please, don't forget to fall in love again, Keep your arm extended and your eyes open Just because your heart is broken, Doesn't make it dead; it'll be resurrected With every grain of sand in the hour glass Don't be defined by what you once thought to be true That you will never fall in love with another Its okay if you do Its okay if you do I cannot lie and say you wont still cry some nights Though it can subside for years at a time Some songs will hit you in the wrong spot Or on the wrong night, and you'll forget You cant call or write him anymore, Sometimes your heart with empathize with thunderstorms When it rains it pours; and it will pour on you You can miss someone forever Not everyone will understand, so I will tell you Its okay if you do Its okay if you do

0

Nov 19, 2018

Nov 19, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC

When it rains

When you have your heartbroken for the first time, It feels your world lost one of its many wonders And you wonder how its going to spin When you have been completely thrown off your axis When he leaves you in the middle of the journey And takes the map, too But don't worry you will get there Just not anytime soon You'll float around like a hot air balloon Full of hot air, not knowing what to do Its okay if you do Its okay if you do I would be lying if I told you That the rest of your travels would be clear, Because, my dear, if it was love It doesn't disappear, for love isn't a feeling Its an atmosphere, and some clouds will move with you One road to the next, and sometimes you will take A huge breath and miss him all over again When it rains it pours; and it will pour on you You will stop in your tracks and forget where you're going Its okay if you do Its okay if you do Please, don't forget to fall in love again, Keep your arm extended and your eyes open Just because your heart is broken, Doesn't make it dead; it'll be resurrected With every grain of sand in the hour glass Don't be defined by what you once thought to be true That you will never fall in love with another Its okay if you do Its okay if you do I cannot lie and say you wont still cry some nights Though it can subside for years at a time Some songs will hit you in the wrong spot Or on the wrong night, and you'll forget You cant call or write him anymore, Sometimes your heart with empathize with thunderstorms When it rains it pours; and it will pour on you You can miss someone forever Not everyone will understand, so I will tell you Its okay if you do Its okay if you do

43

My dad told me when you quit drinking You finally hear the birds sing On chirping mornings or dimming evenings That will now be remembered Every January through December, from here on out Now I count every rose petal and press them in books Jumping onto roofs, but not jumping off them No more praying on cold bathroom floors Finally live up to all the promises I made When I was nothing but a shaking core Who didn’t ask for help, but begged To hear the birds again

0

Nov 15, 2018

Nov 15, 2018 at 4:17 AM UTC

11/15/18

My dad told me when you quit drinking You finally hear the birds sing On chirping mornings or dimming evenings That will now be remembered Every January through December, from here on out Now I count every rose petal and press them in books Jumping onto roofs, but not jumping off them No more praying on cold bathroom floors Finally live up to all the promises I made When I was nothing but a shaking core Who didn’t ask for help, but begged To hear the birds again

12

I have dyed my hair a lot of colors- It has been red with anger, A statement of rage; symbol of fire, I spent my days with my head in the sink Putting out my hot-headed thinking Choking on red water And my own way of breathing, When I was tugged on like a false alarm Meaningless, and loud A vibrant call for help And I wore it proud It has been blue with calm dignity, When the days were easier, When happiness was free I remember how quickly the blue bled to green That was okay with me, I loved music and breathing, And drinking beers on city streets I was colorful graffiti It was more of a fleeting feeling Of matching the sky and the sea Back when I wanted the world To look at me It has been violet in the violent hours, I remember magenta showers And tear stained smoke breaks When the city never slept, always awake Humming with the traffic on the freeway In a car with friends and a future before us Though my skin was a tight blanket- I felt a smile beneath a purple forest Where happiness tugged on my cheeks And I wanted to believe in everything Everyone believed in me, too It has been black on the silent days Somewhere between indecision And bad taste; a dark fate Suffocating beneath a blank sheet While I was recollecting The lost and bleak pieces of me That were almost swallowing me whole I almost fell into the black hole I painted myself as It is much too dark now, For the colors I so loved They won’t be coming back But lately, I returned to my natural state To see how the brown curls will fall Like branches on my growing shoulders, Going back to my roots, No more drowning myself in bathroom sinks Looking for myself at the bottom In colors that could not define me I am sorry to myself for hiding Who I am supposed to be All those colors will always exist In some place inside of me But I wonder what my new colors Will be

0

Nov 12, 2018

Nov 12, 2018 at 5:01 AM UTC

(Untitled))

I have dyed my hair a lot of colors- It has been red with anger, A statement of rage; symbol of fire, I spent my days with my head in the sink Putting out my hot-headed thinking Choking on red water And my own way of breathing, When I was tugged on like a false alarm Meaningless, and loud A vibrant call for help And I wore it proud It has been blue with calm dignity, When the days were easier, When happiness was free I remember how quickly the blue bled to green That was okay with me, I loved music and breathing, And drinking beers on city streets I was colorful graffiti It was more of a fleeting feeling Of matching the sky and the sea Back when I wanted the world To look at me It has been violet in the violent hours, I remember magenta showers And tear stained smoke breaks When the city never slept, always awake Humming with the traffic on the freeway In a car with friends and a future before us Though my skin was a tight blanket- I felt a smile beneath a purple forest Where happiness tugged on my cheeks And I wanted to believe in everything Everyone believed in me, too It has been black on the silent days Somewhere between indecision And bad taste; a dark fate Suffocating beneath a blank sheet While I was recollecting The lost and bleak pieces of me That were almost swallowing me whole I almost fell into the black hole I painted myself as It is much too dark now, For the colors I so loved They won’t be coming back But lately, I returned to my natural state To see how the brown curls will fall Like branches on my growing shoulders, Going back to my roots, No more drowning myself in bathroom sinks Looking for myself at the bottom In colors that could not define me I am sorry to myself for hiding Who I am supposed to be All those colors will always exist In some place inside of me But I wonder what my new colors Will be

59

They want me to beg To kiss their foul mouths But I am too special To be a free-for-all I have been stretched so far You can't even see me Tired or handing out love Like charity, out of disparity I want my heart to be treated Like the rarity it is Is it fair of me? No I would toss you out of the ring, If it meant less pain for me, It is selfish way to survive But it's mine, Maybe I am the bad guy You claimed I so was, I am doing this because I need to be kind To myself When You Are Unkind

0

Nov 8, 2018

Nov 8, 2018 at 12:50 AM UTC

Unkind

They want me to beg To kiss their foul mouths But I am too special To be a free-for-all I have been stretched so far You can't even see me Tired or handing out love Like charity, out of disparity I want my heart to be treated Like the rarity it is Is it fair of me? No I would toss you out of the ring, If it meant less pain for me, It is selfish way to survive But it's mine, Maybe I am the bad guy You claimed I so was, I am doing this because I need to be kind To myself When You Are Unkind

25

Sometimes my heart is a sinking ship But I am stronger than the Titanic

0

Nov 5, 2018

Nov 5, 2018 at 2:28 PM UTC

Sinking

Sometimes my heart is a sinking ship But I am stronger than the Titanic

2

Depression is having nightmares And still not wanting to wake up Because the terrors Your mind makes up Is still less scary Then what you have Become

0

Nov 1, 2018

Nov 1, 2018 at 3:34 AM UTC

Bad Dream

Depression is having nightmares And still not wanting to wake up Because the terrors Your mind makes up Is still less scary Then what you have Become

7

They said revenge was sweet So dust off your tongue and tell me How you really feel, Sharpen your teeth so it matches The sharp feelings inside of me The past is a ball in chain In a dark room somewhere, there is a key But none will free me There is no justice in tragedy Just blame and agony And too many one-sided stories Too many sad and familiar places Basking in all its glory, But I can still picture their faces- I can still see them come before me I can feel the warmth in their hands, And the warmth of the words “I'm sorry”

0

Oct 30, 2018

Oct 30, 2018 at 2:52 PM UTC

Sorry

They said revenge was sweet So dust off your tongue and tell me How you really feel, Sharpen your teeth so it matches The sharp feelings inside of me The past is a ball in chain In a dark room somewhere, there is a key But none will free me There is no justice in tragedy Just blame and agony And too many one-sided stories Too many sad and familiar places Basking in all its glory, But I can still picture their faces- I can still see them come before me I can feel the warmth in their hands, And the warmth of the words “I'm sorry”

18

The days must go on Regardless, Can't revisit an old garden And expect it to grow It's over I know, Just dirt and dust Wilted flowers With little hope Or trust In any growth Though I have been on my Hands And Knees Getting my hands ***** Dug up all our roots And bad bones But was still deemed unworthy You would pick any flower Over me Wilted, But not done Because all I ever needed Was a little water And sun To grow Up (and someone else will see how beautiful I have become)

0

Oct 30, 2018

Oct 30, 2018 at 1:58 AM UTC

Wilted

The days must go on Regardless, Can't revisit an old garden And expect it to grow It's over I know, Just dirt and dust Wilted flowers With little hope Or trust In any growth Though I have been on my Hands And Knees Getting my hands ***** Dug up all our roots And bad bones But was still deemed unworthy You would pick any flower Over me Wilted, But not done Because all I ever needed Was a little water And sun To grow Up (and someone else will see how beautiful I have become)

29