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pauliddy
18/M/USA
The furniture here: a space aching to wear your texture once again. By night it is my grief—an ambush of ghosts. What grace shall I turn to? Behind every sacred canvas on this wall I have traced out your face. The webbing of these cracks I keep neglecting so I can gather a living symbol of what spiraled between my wants & your wading away from me. There is nowhere to move onto. I have sealed the door to the stairwell of my spine; my body a basement brimming with aloneness. There is only this ribbed window through which I stare at a larger window stained with the moving trace of you.
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Aug 11, 2021
Aug 11, 2021 at 1:12 AM UTC
Heartroom
I never meant to fall but sunrise greased your chassis. The crest and fall of your jaw— the blade and bend of it, mudslide contouring of it— dropped me ribless at your feet. O promising land, crisp field   of flesh, whose fireflies steered my eyes in the darkness— your land, where my eyes had strayed— scaled over eolian caves, the slick basins of your clavicle, onto the hexa hillocks clustered like honeycomb chambers on your abdomen. I never meant to fall, but the cursive lines of you, I might have trod with loose eyes— even now, there is a voice drawing them to strike at the aquifer beneath your waistline, voice of vined thirst, of torso and tug— with them, I struck and drowned
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Jul 31, 2021
Jul 31, 2021 at 4:28 AM UTC
Torso and Tug
press your ears to the green of your eden. listen to hell, its realness. it is the feeling   that I write from. a distant burn that blinks in the blackened pages of his chest as a star—only a piece of the map that has led his heart to yours, only a sliver to be scrapped   by sunrise. I could speak of this: his garden, the teeth around its margins, or the way I waded near its grin, with both eyes unbuttoned & my soft heart worn inside-out. but your flesh is ivory, & where it tapers, a key to his own. but your throat is flute enough to tread through his walls. listen. I will speak of the wild heart holding you. I have touched it with my shadows, the deep rays of my dreams. I have been to its shrubs that whirl about like wicks, the ponds full of laughter, & the caves with leaping   tongues. they are mystery & aplenty. I could not quench them, but you will, you will. if one day, as you lay in his fields, I stumble over his sky like a word on fire. remember, love, to make of me, a better wish.
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Jun 9, 2021
Jun 9, 2021 at 5:58 PM UTC
to your new love
you are the hand hauling back my cries. my mother’s mother hardened from dust. you are almost my eyes. you are not sky or frozen air. i suspect you have no skin. love is my left wing smacked on your pane that i mistook for an open door. i let the nights do their undoing of my feathers into light. maybe this way you would welcome me.
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Apr 30, 2021
Apr 30, 2021 at 7:54 PM UTC
The Window
I am ready to ring your rib around my wrist in triumph— the faintest of relics enliven me. My lips still layered as in the night you lost them. I hope to hammer your heart & stuff its soil in the sutures of your skull; I want to call that the shadow to kintsugi; I want our memories never to seep; to set them up for decryption. Unloving is a study— consider an archaeologist’s tentative hands demystifying an artifact once treasured for its secret & leaving no spots behind.
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Apr 25, 2021
Apr 25, 2021 at 11:24 PM UTC
I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
Still, you are a muted morning cradled like a mango—yet to yellow—in the basket of my ribcage. May your tongue have no take from these tomorrows that taste of teeth. Dawn where the red ash stings, fetch your face from the flames; if you are fleshed with mine, flay it off—slowly you would bleed your own light. If the night strips itself of its black dress and hangs it on your heart, do not be afraid to wear it. & When the weight of your warmth brings the dust hard on your knees, kiss me back, & heal, rise still.
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Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 10:19 AM UTC
To My Future Son
Surely, that sunset is only his lemon heart falling down the globe. Love, how you draw the red from his aorta, smear it over his center. Surely, this slow sneaking darkness is only ink spilling to grieve his beloved—see how metaphors rip that fluff to constellations; their twinkle would trace her torso; her treasures; her tales. & earth would shut its mouth to listen to his star-studded silence, would stare as color fades to soul. Surely the sky is not so different from me.
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Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020 at 3:11 PM UTC
Surely the sky is not that color
There’s a holocaust sweeping through my body but i call it love, strap myself to its stake as a sacrifice, relish how its fire dignifies me, how the tongue-like torso of my scent rolls out to taste God. You, with the hot air for hair, you with the sparking skin, feed my flames, you hearteater, the mouths on your cheeks open wide & I enter, as if to join the rest of me; see how all that is left circulating in my veins is your voice; my body, now inanimate, an instrument for your heartsong—hear its cinders sing like cicadas—here is the sequel to your stones thrice striked.
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Dec 26, 2020
Dec 26, 2020 at 1:29 PM UTC
Heart(h)
your heart unmasks to a dagger, already deep into my atriums, until my muse is replaced with the bleeding, and each stanza is your shadow in shackles. a poem is just a poem until you perceive it out of paper—in the silence, scratching against your skull—until it begins to burn, your body bright-blue beneath, your secrets streaming out like incense—until it is a grave, with you more alive in it. a poem is just a poem until it bites, until it howls, until it makes our memory its metaphor for midnight.
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Dec 13, 2020
Dec 13, 2020 at 1:24 PM UTC
a poem is just a poem until
Done, ends stitched in a seam—set to be worn over yourself. A stain so bright, you sparkle. Too far forward to flip. The sipper, the straw, the soda. Bleeding ink every blink, but still brimming. Ripped apart like a rainbow. A love letter to life still in the works. So dead you’re divine. Only visible in the love-light. Weird as a plant that bites the bully, as a phlox sprouting through sand. Wingless like wind, fin-less like a fluid. Lost but listening to your own heart. Found.
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Dec 10, 2020
Dec 10, 2020 at 3:44 PM UTC
YOU’RE