paul-gilhooley
Proud dad first, shark loving marine conservationist second. Everything else is just a side show. I use poetry and photography as a way of coping with my struggles, preferring the darker side of writing and the solitude of the sea and landscape images. In life, it isn't what you see, it's how you see it that matters. There is beauty in most anything, you just need to look with more than your eyes. / / "Through life I give you memories, through memories you give me life" - Paul Gilhooley. / / All writings by Paul Gilhooley are subject to copyright Cinco Espiritus Creation ©2012 All Rights Reserved.
I thought I heard your voice last night,
I heard it in my dream,
You told me all will be alright,
As things aren't what they seem.
I'm sure I heard your voice last night,
You whispered in my ear,
You told me please don't be afraid
As all will become clear.
I know I heard your voice last night,
You told me don't be scared,
I wasn't there as you passed away,
I missed your final word.
I always hear your voice at night,
When things aren't what they seem,
I know that things will be alright,
Because you tell me in my dream.
Cinco Espiritus Creation
May 2020
May 27, 2020
May 27, 2020 at 11:10 PM UTC
Long, long ago,
Like the Lord of the Rings,
An epic tragedy formed,
At this start of all things.
Many moons have now passed,
Since I was asked by a friend,
"Write a poem about Covid",
"To look back at the end"
Government guidance unclear,
Shambolic, inept,
"Stay at home" oft they cried,
As alone in their homes, many thousands they died.
They dillied, they dallied,
From their safe ivory towers,
As the funerals passed by,
With no grieving or flowers.
Many suns have now set,
Countless days have since past,
With families left absent,
As dear relatives breathed their last.
Staying away must be tough,
But it's what you must do,
Harsh they appear, but these are the rules,
Tho not meant for me, they apply just to you.
This Europe we've left,
With our death rate immense,
Now this Europe we lead,
Our leaders bereft of simple common sense.
Then there's that bloke called Cummings,
And his car trip while blind,
On his wee jaunt to Durham,
Tho if you or I, we'd be heavily fined.
But we're not all angels, we must share some blame,
Being "all about me", so selfish our goals,
Stocking up on pasta and hand sanitiser too,
Oh and of course, we can't forget bog rolls.
Basic hygiene was lacking, or so it appears,
Like being back at school,
Wash your hands all the time,
20 seconds the rule.
Simple instructions we were given,
So easy to follow,
Delivered by leaders,
With emotions so hollow.
On how poorly it's been managed,
So much could be said,
But the one thing that matters,
Is tens of thousands lie dead.
So! My feelings on Johnson?
If you ask I'll be blunt,
But to fit with my rhyming,
This poem "is to be cont..."
May 27, 2020
May 27, 2020 at 11:02 PM UTC
The Earth she turns,
The Earth she burns,
Lungs full of smoke,
Lungs start to choke,
No-one listening to her screams,
No-one caring what this means,
Wildlife havens, all decimated,
Now those lands lie desolated.
The Earth she is turning,
The Earth she is burning,
Charred embers burning bright,
Burning wildly, day and night,
Flora, fauna, creatures all,
Dying on this burning ball,
Mighty rainforests now just ashes,
Destroyed by impish burning flashes.
She burns as she turns,
And she turns as she burns,
Forests smoulder, destroyed by flames,
Victims of our Human aims,
The more destruction that we wreak,
The more the outcome seems so bleak,
Revenge, she'll bring us certain death,
Ensuring mankind's final breath.
Cinco Espiritus Creation
4th September 2019
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 1:40 PM UTC
Sadness
Unloved
Ignored
Castaway
Insecure
Destitute
Emptiness
Cinco Espiritus Creation - March 2019
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 7:39 AM UTC
I've heard you say it's a cowards way out,
I've heard you say no care at all for family or friends,
I've heard you say life's not that bad,
I've heard you say it's just a phase,
I've heard you say suicide, such a selfish act,
I hear you now say if only I'd said,
I hear you say you were there for me.
I hear you say your doors always open,
I hear you say you always worried,
I hear you say you saw the signs,
The irony of the things I've heard, is that no one listened when I was scared.
Cinco Espiritus Creation - March 2019
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 6:47 PM UTC
These shattered pieces of my life,
Failure, repetition, constant strife,
More dark than light, more cons than pro's,
The times I've tried, heaven knows!
Rarely happy, more often sad,
The brightest spark, those calling me dad,
When things seem on track, I'm soon derailed,
And yes I've tried, then failed and failed.
My social circle is very small,
Look very closely, it's only Paul,
I let people in, then I get burned,
Build barriers high, the lesson learned.
I don't need anyone to make me complete,
But a shoulder to lean on, that would be sweet,
Someone to hold, it's been a while,
Someone to care for behind the smile.
Struggles, stresses, over thinking,
Feeling like I'm always sinking,
An outlet for friends, that's never in doubt,
But can anyone hear me when I shout?
A humour so dark, I make others cringe,
But if I let it all out, their soul I'd tinge,
A cry for help you'll never hear,
I just need to know there's somebody here!
To live with loathing, to live with doubt,
Has become what life is all about,
The person you know, warm, sincere,
Has become a mask, my thin veneer.
Branded flirty, often shameless,
Tho deep inside, I know I'm worthless,
And so I share me in this verse,
To help other sufferers lift their curse.
Cinco Espiritus Creation - 2019
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 6:10 PM UTC
If I were nervous, would you reassure me?
If I were scared, would you comfort me?
If I were angry, would you calm me?
If I were lonely, would you sit with me?
If I told you my fears, would you understand me?
If I were struggling with my demons, would you fight them with me?
If I were standing on the edge, would you hold me?
If I were screaming out for help, would you hear me?
If I hid behind a smile, would you care for me?
If I told you I needed help, would you be there for me?
If I was no longer here, would you miss me?
When I was nervous, nobody reassured me,
When I was scared, nobody comforted me,
When I was angry, nobody calmed me,
When I was lonely, nobody sat with me,
When I spoke of my fears, nobody understood me,
When I struggled with my demons, nobody fought for me,
When I stood out on the edge, nobody held me,
When I screamed out for help, nobody heard me,
When I hid behind a smile, nobody cared for me,
When I said I needed help, nobody was there for me,
When I was no longer around, nobody missed me.
As I sit and ponder life,
All it's troubles, all it's strife,
On social media I see the posts,
If in need, we're willing hosts,
But is it true? Let's wait and see,
If I need you, are you there for me?
Cinco Espiritus Creation
11/07/18
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 9:48 AM UTC
Inspired by Neil Diamond's "Morningside"
A tale of when an old man died,
Of nights spent alone, and days that I've cried,
For my children
This poem is real, this poem is me,
Far from the person each one of you see,
Depression, emptiness, a life I can't flee,
For my children.
By mistakes a plenty, my life defined,
The gift I hold, verses from what's on my mind,
A tormented soul, with the words I've signed,
For my children.
Emilia and John, years spent apart,
Thinking back each night, tearing at my heart,
To go back in time, and correct from the start,
For my children.
Isobel and Lydia, off doing their things,
Watching them flourish, the joy that it brings,
Two ladies growing, in my heart it sings,
For my children.
And obviously Ben, my Junior Sharkbait,
My final reason to smile, this tiny wee mate,
Giving me purpose, keeping life great,
For my children.
People believe as a dad I am good,
But I've let them all down far more than I should,
And I'd change it all for a chance that I could,
For my children.
As a father I know that I truly am blessed,
I've five stars that to me, are simply the best,
With their joy, love and laughter, my heart is caressed,
For my children.
But when I die, truth is sad,
Not a child will claim the gift I had,
The words I write become my epitaph,
For my children."
Cinco Espiritus Creation 2018
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 5:57 AM UTC
*Gentle child sleeping in my chair,
Stay sweet your dreams, free from care,
Rest your head from weary day,
Exhaustion borne from adventurous play.
Gentle child with breath so soft,
Into deep slumber, you have been lost,
Knowing nothing of years to come,
A dreamy smile, you're rarely glum.
Gentle child resting free,
Cast adrift on your dream filled sea,
I wonder what thoughts fill your head,
Tho' I know your imagination is well fed.
Gentle child I hear you snore,
A man as child, yet only four,
You stir from slumber, look of surprise,
Confusion and beauty I see in your eyes.
Gentle child drifts back to sleep,
Your dreams they call you from the deep,
An uncomplicated life, youthful simpleness,
The greatest time, the age of innocence.
Cinco Espiritus Creation
October 2017
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 19, 2017 at 12:42 PM UTC
I'm writing a poem of alliteration,
Promising perfunctory proliferation,
Rendering ragged rambling randomness,
Scribbling stupid spasmodic silliness.
Finding words requires a Thesaurus,
Collecting curses chirography causes,
Needs necessitate natural nuances,
Instead incredible imaginary influences.
This task is beginning to wreck my head,
Beating boredom before bed,
Wretched wistfully wandering words,
Agreeable arrangements absolutely absurd.
Keeping it logical is becoming a bind,
Maelstroms merging, mashing my mind,
Deranged, despairing, definitely diminished,
Fortunately, fudging finally finished.
Cinco Espiritus Creation
26/09/17
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 3:46 AM UTC