paperscribbel - Hello Poetry

I went sledding this last Sunday for the first time in my life, im 27. We walked 3 blocks up to a park in our small town, the park entrance is a big hill down to a large meadow with huge maple and black walnut trees. A small stream runs along the left side, and a playground on the right. We mount the red sled we purchased from the town thrift store the weekend prior and we are off. Down the hill, the sun is shining beautifully and the snow is sparkling, it sprays into my face as we race down the hill. Screaming and laughing the whole way down, not a sound in this small town other than us. I felt so young and so free, so happy to have done this and to have had the opportunity to live here. My son just wanted to play on the playground, knowing snow all the winters he's had in his life, taking this for granted. We played on the ice accumulated in the field that floods summer or winter it seems. We all did a silly dance on the ice and laughed together, it was beautiful. Amazing to have created a family of my own to have moments of pure bliss and happiness. I can't wait for more snow.

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Dec 22, 2025

Dec 22, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC

Sledding

I went sledding this last Sunday for the first time in my life, im 27. We walked 3 blocks up to a park in our small town, the park entrance is a big hill down to a large meadow with huge maple and black walnut trees. A small stream runs along the left side, and a playground on the right. We mount the red sled we purchased from the town thrift store the weekend prior and we are off. Down the hill, the sun is shining beautifully and the snow is sparkling, it sprays into my face as we race down the hill. Screaming and laughing the whole way down, not a sound in this small town other than us. I felt so young and so free, so happy to have done this and to have had the opportunity to live here. My son just wanted to play on the playground, knowing snow all the winters he's had in his life, taking this for granted. We played on the ice accumulated in the field that floods summer or winter it seems. We all did a silly dance on the ice and laughed together, it was beautiful. Amazing to have created a family of my own to have moments of pure bliss and happiness. I can't wait for more snow.

4

I'm happier now, I used be really sad. I used to only write sad things, but now it triggers me when others are depressed like me. To hear the pain a young women silently endures. I want to tell everyone it takes time and all the things that helped me but it never seems to stick with them. It wasn't all at once, it was day by day, one at a time. Sometimes we aren't ready for help, pain is comfortable and all you know. You gotta get to rock bottom before you are ready to grow.

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May 18, 2023

May 18, 2023 at 4:23 PM UTC

Now

I'm happier now, I used be really sad. I used to only write sad things, but now it triggers me when others are depressed like me. To hear the pain a young women silently endures. I want to tell everyone it takes time and all the things that helped me but it never seems to stick with them. It wasn't all at once, it was day by day, one at a time. Sometimes we aren't ready for help, pain is comfortable and all you know. You gotta get to rock bottom before you are ready to grow.

7

I can't stop thinking about her I don't want to decide whether to distance myself or get closer All I want to do is spend time with her. All I want to do is love her but all she can do is be a friend. I'm okay with it, as much as I can be. My heart is conflicted and broken, She let's me love her from an arms length but I want to know her inside and out. I want to love her. And I do. It's painful to love her and know the feeling isn't the same. My chest is empty and all I can do is shed a tear for what will never be. Even so I keep hoping but I know That she's not ready and I respect that Life has a path for us all and I'm just glad ours crossed.

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Apr 2, 2022

Apr 2, 2022 at 11:28 PM UTC

Sabrina

I can't stop thinking about her I don't want to decide whether to distance myself or get closer All I want to do is spend time with her. All I want to do is love her but all she can do is be a friend. I'm okay with it, as much as I can be. My heart is conflicted and broken, She let's me love her from an arms length but I want to know her inside and out. I want to love her. And I do. It's painful to love her and know the feeling isn't the same. My chest is empty and all I can do is shed a tear for what will never be. Even so I keep hoping but I know That she's not ready and I respect that Life has a path for us all and I'm just glad ours crossed.

13

I've been having dreams Where all I do is cry All I can remember is the overwhelming sadness making my face into rivers The strangest thing is I'm not unhappy when I'm awake But it leads me to believe I Am hiding something From myself

0

Sep 17, 2020

Sep 17, 2020 at 11:50 PM UTC

Untitled

I've been having dreams Where all I do is cry All I can remember is the overwhelming sadness making my face into rivers The strangest thing is I'm not unhappy when I'm awake But it leads me to believe I Am hiding something From myself

8

ive last felt so low and i don't remember that time, but i do sure recall the heavy feeling of all the dirt on top of my metaphorcal grave and this heart burn won't be helped by the liquor but i guess this is how i hurt myself now

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Apr 14, 2018

Apr 14, 2018 at 10:20 PM UTC

i havent written to a blank page since..

ive last felt so low and i don't remember that time, but i do sure recall the heavy feeling of all the dirt on top of my metaphorcal grave and this heart burn won't be helped by the liquor but i guess this is how i hurt myself now

6

It's been a week of you here, the week I get off of school. I had a week of vacation with you, but now I feel like a I need a week of vacation with me. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you, and I got to do that all this week. I just get tired and worn out being around people all the time. So I need some me time, some Kathleen time.

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Mar 17, 2017

Mar 17, 2017 at 3:24 PM UTC

Alone time, me time, Kathleen time

It's been a week of you here, the week I get off of school. I had a week of vacation with you, but now I feel like a I need a week of vacation with me. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you, and I got to do that all this week. I just get tired and worn out being around people all the time. So I need some me time, some Kathleen time.

5

Sometimes I wonder why I try to please anyone, but then I remember the things you do. I remember that relationships are a give and take, a push and pull of emotions. I just want to be loved, and often I wonder if you do. And that's why I get tired of loving you. Do you hate me because I tell you what you do wrong? Do you resent me because I am here? Do you think I don't love you? Do you know when I'm feeling like this? It's funny that it makes me feel almost nothing anymore, I am getting used to the pain and it's not good. It's not something I want, it's a sting in my throat, a sting like boiling heartburn. But my heart is freezing, and you are the cold. It's not burning, I wish you would...I wish you would do something. I wish it could be better, I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could leave and not regret it. It seems that the ones we love shouldn't hurt us, but it's them that hurt us the most. And here I sit in continued silence, and here I sit wondering what to do, what to say, and how to say it. And here I sit, wondering if I should be the bigger person, or if I should go low and be myself. Here I sit wondering if I should ice you out until you thaw me out, it seems to always come back to me wondering what I have to do to get attention.

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Feb 27, 2017

Feb 27, 2017 at 9:34 PM UTC

Sometimes I get tired of loving you.

Sometimes I wonder why I try to please anyone, but then I remember the things you do. I remember that relationships are a give and take, a push and pull of emotions. I just want to be loved, and often I wonder if you do. And that's why I get tired of loving you. Do you hate me because I tell you what you do wrong? Do you resent me because I am here? Do you think I don't love you? Do you know when I'm feeling like this? It's funny that it makes me feel almost nothing anymore, I am getting used to the pain and it's not good. It's not something I want, it's a sting in my throat, a sting like boiling heartburn. But my heart is freezing, and you are the cold. It's not burning, I wish you would...I wish you would do something. I wish it could be better, I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could leave and not regret it. It seems that the ones we love shouldn't hurt us, but it's them that hurt us the most. And here I sit in continued silence, and here I sit wondering what to do, what to say, and how to say it. And here I sit, wondering if I should be the bigger person, or if I should go low and be myself. Here I sit wondering if I should ice you out until you thaw me out, it seems to always come back to me wondering what I have to do to get attention.

3

I know you're there and I'm here Length and distance is the same thing, but space is different. The space between us is nil, but the distance seems smothering. I wish you lived on the other side of my bed, and I could wake you up to take a late night ride with me. Kisses could be your wake up call everyday. Our children could be my feathery babies. I'd go to school and you could do your crazy binary math. But that's not the reality of it And we have to do these things on our own time, far away from one another But the circles of metal around our fingers and the love between us keep us close.

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Dec 29, 2016

Dec 29, 2016 at 8:43 PM UTC

I say I miss you, and tell you I want to kiss you.

I know you're there and I'm here Length and distance is the same thing, but space is different. The space between us is nil, but the distance seems smothering. I wish you lived on the other side of my bed, and I could wake you up to take a late night ride with me. Kisses could be your wake up call everyday. Our children could be my feathery babies. I'd go to school and you could do your crazy binary math. But that's not the reality of it And we have to do these things on our own time, far away from one another But the circles of metal around our fingers and the love between us keep us close.

10

You text me after dinner telling me you feel terrible, and I think it's food poisoning but it's something you don't identify as anxiety yet. It worries me because all you want to do is watch a movie and be left alone. You tell me nothing of your troubles and leave. One hour later I ask how you're doing and you say you're going to bed before formation. I haven't talked to you since last night, and now I'm worried sick. You don't need me when you're upset and since you left I don't know how to talk to you. I don't think we will make it if you keep doing this. I can't see your face, I can't hear your voice, and I can't read your mind.

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Dec 16, 2016

Dec 16, 2016 at 9:25 PM UTC

When you're upset you don't need me

You text me after dinner telling me you feel terrible, and I think it's food poisoning but it's something you don't identify as anxiety yet. It worries me because all you want to do is watch a movie and be left alone. You tell me nothing of your troubles and leave. One hour later I ask how you're doing and you say you're going to bed before formation. I haven't talked to you since last night, and now I'm worried sick. You don't need me when you're upset and since you left I don't know how to talk to you. I don't think we will make it if you keep doing this. I can't see your face, I can't hear your voice, and I can't read your mind.

5

I forget my capsules of bliss, and a tablet of calm while caught up in the happy I take for granted. For this I lose two days to the sadness. And then it seems like the sadness always wins. The pills make my life flow, they make me function like rolling wheels on a smooth slope, climbing to reach something better always. Will I ever be satisfied? I am numb, I am numb. Blood yearns to be set free, mind begs to sleep. Dependency has made me happier, but am I better off? I don't want to feel a thing anymore.

0

May 22, 2016

May 22, 2016 at 5:53 PM UTC

A day without meds. is worth two in the head.

I forget my capsules of bliss, and a tablet of calm while caught up in the happy I take for granted. For this I lose two days to the sadness. And then it seems like the sadness always wins. The pills make my life flow, they make me function like rolling wheels on a smooth slope, climbing to reach something better always. Will I ever be satisfied? I am numb, I am numb. Blood yearns to be set free, mind begs to sleep. Dependency has made me happier, but am I better off? I don't want to feel a thing anymore.

4