We were never a love story...
We were more a story of love
But-
You were a title and I merely a chapter
We grew no choice but to digress
To go back to being best friends, two peas in a pod who stared at each other a second too long.
Jul 23, 2021
Jul 23, 2021 at 2:48 AM UTC
The weight of an unrequited love
it feels so heavy-
It's probably the heaviest weight of all
I wonder if that's why my heart is so strong
Apr 23, 2021
Apr 23, 2021 at 4:31 PM UTC
You appeared in my intuition before you appeared before my eyes.
I could sense that we were wandering close enough to cross paths for a short amount of time.
But-
What I could not sense was how your presence would bring my heart to full capacity and for a few mere moments I would be drowning in my love for you instead of simply treading.
I could not see that the moment you walked out of the door, and looked at me one to many times, that the vacancy sign in my mind would flip on while my heart continued to deny anyone from checking in.
My intuition tried to prepare me but I suppose no one can ever be ready to see the one person that left them alone walk away once more.
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 6:51 PM UTC
I saw you at a party and from across the room you smiled at me and I was only able to smile back by reminding myself of how I felt before you left me for someone that you felt was better than me.
You passed by me and laughed at my joke as though the last thing you said to me didn't make me choke.
You waved goodbye to me and did a double take as though I was the one that left you and as if this was my choice to make.
I saw you at a party and I really wish I hadn't because now I question if you miss me too after months without seeing you.
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 6:35 PM UTC
So sometimes when I think of you my throat gets tight.
Sometimes my body twitches on it's own the way it would have if you touched it.
Sometimes I miss you.
But-
I must remember that you only loved me for the way my skin shined in the sun and never for the way my soul shimmered in the moonlight.
Sometimes that reason is why I can think of you and feel nothing at all.
So although sometimes I cry at my memories with you, other times I am glad I left you too.
Jan 9, 2021
Jan 9, 2021 at 7:17 PM UTC
The walls of my room have secrets that even my closest friends do not know.
They have seen me toss and turn restless night after restless night or watched me play dead as I sleep away my exhaustion.
The passing time within these walls have been painted with the sound of my cries and cleaned with pools of my tears as I constantly wonder why I am never good enough.
They hold the moans of men that are enticed ever so long to make their mark and then leave.
The walls hear the conversations about men that didn't matter but still managed to make me feel like I did.
They hold the snores of others as they rest peacefully after finding pleasure as I lay still wondering why I still feel nothing.
The walls hold in everything.
They have heard every intrusive thought and every "I hate you" that has managed to escape from my lips towards my own reflection.
They have heard my anxious whispers-
my whimpers of pain.
Yet, they do not judge.
They simply lock away everything I can never find the courage to say.
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020 at 9:55 PM UTC
Sometimes it’s like a dream in broad daylight
A realization of the blessing I’ve been given in my life
A magical feeling surrounds me- they call it love
Feels like an ecstasy I can never escape
A feeling I tried to escape until I realized I could not find peace with it.
Drowning in devotion, almost as though he has become my religion
A heaven sent energy
I’d let him take slice of my heart if it meant keeping him fed with love and support.
A piece of heaven brought into a living hell
He calls me an angel- little does he know that he’s the reason for my wings
He is everything I haves prayed for and more.
A love everlasting that brings peace to a chaotic mind, a man worthy of forgiveness, acceptance and so much more- a man I’ve been granted the opportunity to call mine.
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 5:10 PM UTC
Today my mind is clouded and my heart is heavy
Although even with all this weight I carry from my thoughts to my feelings
My body feels as though I am floating between the earth an the sky with nowhere to go
Oct 23, 2020
Oct 23, 2020 at 7:12 PM UTC
I wonder if your heart becomes as heavy as mine
If thoughts of me ever flood your mind.
Do you also feel like it is hard to breathe?
As though you cannot receive enough oxygen no matter how deep the breaths you take may be?
I wonder if your throat tightens like mine does when I start to wonder where everything went wrong.
Because I can't seem to find an answer I just know that we fell off.
Do you ever wonder about why we never ended up together even though the love on both ends was so strong?
Because I wonder often- even though I know I shouldn't
...I stay wondering if you're wondering too.
Oct 23, 2020
Oct 23, 2020 at 7:10 PM UTC
I always find myself thinking about you.
Even on days where I am busy-
My thoughts still find their way to you.
I can't seem to shake the feeling of a string that keeps us tied together while we are on our own separate journeys.
Although your absence still burns- I know I am better off.
I wish you could see me now...
To see what the pain of losing you created as I learned to love myself because I had no other place to pour my love.
I am so powerful without you and maybe you were the upside down fool in my deck of cards and now you are upright and do not deserve to see what you have helped to create.
Yet, there is still that feeling that we are connected in our souls and I cannot seem to find scissors strong enough to cut it.
My logic knows you never belonged to me but my heart questions whether or not you ever will.
A battle within myself that even at my highest point I cannot shake because maybe right now I am my own fool.
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 1:20 PM UTC