Please stop
I do it so you'll notice
Your going to **** yourself
I want to die young
Please don't say that
Why
Because I care for you
Then why don't you even look at me
Because you'll never love me
I'll always love you
Then why aren't we together
Because we never can
I'm reckless and your secure
I'd only keep hurting you
I want the pain....
If it means I can look at you
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 12:19 AM UTC
I don't want him
yet I want to gift him
Lavish him with things
Objects he doesn't want
The exact opposite of what he desires
Or so I hope to believe
From what I knew a year ago
And so it has changed
Most likely anyways
But I will take what I know
And I will give to him anyways
Everything that he doesn't want
Objects
Which is quite different from love
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 12:18 AM UTC
For futures out there
You should do it
Just so you know what it's like
But you'll hate every second
But isn't that the essence of memories
And the purpose of learning
Pain is what reminds us not to repeat certain actions
But without experiencing it
you only know from others
Which makes you want it all the more
Cycle
And we seek love
Closeness
Others who have similar experiences
and pains to share with
and hopefully forget
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 11:05 AM UTC
I don't know what id do without my mother
Without her wise advise
Without her loving arms
Without her sarcastic comments
Without her snide stares
Without her bold statements
Without her encouraging care
I don't know what I'd do without my mother
Because she's the only one who told us it was okay
That things would get better
Even after we were abused
And there was nothing she could do to fix it
But help us leave from that place
And help us cover up what had happened
Because no one should know what went on in that house
Because no one deserves to have those memories
And so we try to forget
And she holds us together
With her encouragement that we will get better
Even after our bruises have healed
To remind us that are scars are beautiful
And we are a new family
Thank you mom
I love you
And all that you've done
I don't know where'd we be without you
Never leave us
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 1:26 AM UTC
Pain comes in many forms
Whether it's physical
And you can't breathe
Or it's emotional
And you can't catch your breath
But the worst part is
We can't choose our pain
It chooses us
And it takes no consideration
For your life's path
And sometimes all you can do
Is let it slap you in the face
Because we are all just chess pieces
In this life
Waiting to be pushed into the direction
We wish not to move to
And wait to experience pain
From our opponent's next move
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 1:10 AM UTC
Sometimes you lay in your bed
And all you can do is cry
For yourself
For others
For humanity
Because what do we live for
Besides to convince ourselves
There is no oblivion
Death is eminent
And life is short
And mine will be cut loose
Sooner than most
So what do I have to lose
Besides believe in lies
Those stories they tell us
To give us hope
To keep us going
But I don't know how much longer I can go
So I just wait
For my time
Because it's coming soon
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
It's just one night of acceptance
Giving it all away for an hour
But things end too soon
With reassurance of reoccurrence
But it meant nothing in the end
And I was okay with that
Until the next day
When I thought of it endlessly
And I started my search
To discover the real him
After all he was so interesting
Falling faster and faster
Down the pit of infatuation
Hoping to receive the call
That was once promised
Because he was good
At giving me what I wanted
Even if it was only for an hour
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 11:14 AM UTC
Sometimes I wonder
If I have any pentinence
But how can I
When I can't even remember
I push my past away
And force myself to forget
Because I fear what I've done
And I fear all regrets
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 12:39 PM UTC
I want to feel
Even if only for a second
I want to change
I want the new
To move away
From my old self
But I miss it all
So I want to change
But still experience the old
Which can never be
Because it's different here
And to receive love
You must put yourself
Out to be taken
And I do it anyway
Just to feel
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 12:38 PM UTC
Sometimes I remember
I think about what it was like
To be afraid
To mock him
But only to hide from myself
My own fear
And i look at them all
And I worry
What if they end up like him
What if I choose wrong
So I better not choose at all
Am I the one
Should I get help
I can't look past
The possibilities
And when I think back
To when I had hope
I remember
Cutting off the love
Because for a second
I saw a similarity
And I was afraid
Of returning to the past
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 12:37 PM UTC