Plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars
cast lights, at night,
on my bedroom window.
Looking up at them takes me back to when
When, I was awake and I heard you creep in.
You asked if I was still asleep and soon we were looking up at them.
It was just me and you and we sat the whole night through..
Promising me that I won't have to go to sleep
until I see my first with you.
Looking at my window.
if only these plastic stars could shoot across my room
and bring me back to you.
Sitting in those lawn chairs.
I was not prepared
one after another
they passed
making us gasp at how fast they flew
Just me and you.
Just me and you.
The first one passed,
was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I was a little scared that it wouldn't stop but then you whispered in my ear "make a wish"
So I did.
You didn't make me go back to bed, but instead
we just sat in sweet silence looking up at that night sky.
Another after another passed and I was soon out of wishes.
You gave me my kisses and put me back in bed.
Your little sleepy head.
Memory made
that I think of now and again
especially when I look up to the sky,
remembering that night with you,
my favorite guy.
Just you and I
Just you and I.
you and I.
you and I.
and I.
I.
I.
I all alone.
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 2:07 AM UTC
For Alice (Who used to be me)
I have believed in fairy tales
Once I walked in worlds of rosy hue
I lived in Wonderland and Counterpane
dreaming dreams I knew would all come true
Morning turns to noon day to evening all too soon
Oz can turn to ashes in just a day
Princes return as frogs to their lily pads
Wonderlands Alice is a matron growing grey
No one comes to kiss the princess as she sleeps,
Knights in shining armor ride no more.
Tinker bell is dying with no one to believe.
The Mad Hatter is laughing at the door.
The dragon is not slain but lives in glory
Roxanne always marries Christian after all
Cinderella sits forever midst the ashes
Too late for Alice the door is much to small
The Emerald City's walls are bottle glass
And reality has crushed them neath its heel
The yellow brick road leads nowhere very quickly
And Alice knows that lonely is the only thing she'll feel
oh! let alice return to Wonderland again,
Away from the mud and slime outside the looking glass.
Life is much to large without that tiny door,
And she would seek the March Hares party where time will never pass.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 2:51 AM UTC
I think I'm drowning
I'm not really positive.
It sure feels like it.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:38 AM UTC
We army crawl across the dirt and patches of dying grass.
Barely missing us, they passed.
Crawl to one smoldering, watching out for broken glass.
We thoroughly examine it.
The white of the missile contrasts against the dirt.
We hear their cackles.
I hear a familiar click.
I look up toward the deck.
Curiously, I watch a finger press the button of the bic.
From the corner of my eye, I see her mother's fingers flick.
Another missile heading our way.
"Watch out!" my cousin yells to make me alert.
But it was too late.
Why didn't I hear the familiar noise of it hitting the dirt?
I look down and see another cigarette burn a hole through my skirt.
I was too slow.
It was too quick.
Now my skirt is aglow.
Through her half-witted smile, smoke is blown.
I was only six,
They should have known.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:34 AM UTC
When I was just a little girl,
naive as hell,
I was under your spell.
Life was simple, it was fun...
But that was when I was young.
Now I'm older.
Now I realize.
Now I see the pain in your eyes.
I used to think it was normal every night,
when clock struck 5, and I peered in those bloodshot eyes.
Lying in bed with me you'd cry, cry cry.
Do you know the feeling?
You know, the one when someone you love is in pain.
You, yourself , are a helpless child, you can't do a thing.
Now you lay, passed out, snoring a storm, in your own bed.
I.
All.
Alone.
I lay there, observing the wall.
The sweet taste of a tear, creeping between my closed lips.
Her pain is your pain.
Your pain is mine.
This pain can't be contained.
How can you continue this vicious cycle?
Don't you realize that you were once as I?!?
I don't want my life to be a play, please don't be my queue.
At your age I'll know what to do.
I'm determined to beat this cycle of abuse.
My children will prosper, they will love.
They will not smell ***** when I give them hugs.
All I can say is thank you.
Thank you for teaching me what not to do,
I will try harder because of you.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:27 AM UTC
It was a fun day,
childhood memories were being made.
My happiness showing across my face.
So many questions I had,
so many I asked.
I see pink.
Another fun-filled day.
Dad made my favorite dinner.
My excitement was bubbling.
I guess to them it was troubling.
I see pink.
Today was rainy.
I went outside.
I think I'm in trouble.
She yells "Get inside!"
She had almost gotten my hair dried.
I can tell she is annoyed.
I see pink.
They didn't care about the smile on my little face.
I guess they couldn't keep up with my pace.
I see pink.
I want it now.
I barely even begin to ask,
she is headed to the cabinet.
Plastic shot glass.
Two tablespoons later,
I see pink.
Dream, dream, dream.
Off to sleep.
Thanks for the pink.
A three year old girl who gets a thrill from fairytales.
They say I have to much energy for someone so little.
All they want is for me to sit still.
So they pour me some more Benadryl.
I see pink.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
I miss the pain of your beard as you rubbed against my face.
I miss your red skin.
I miss the smell of your neck.
I miss your stinky feet.
I miss your thick hair.
I miss your eyes.
I miss your raspy voice.
I didn't think I would miss you this much.
I miss you saying, "good-morning sunshine!" as I woke.
I miss your smile and crooked teeth that accompanied it.
I miss every. little. thing.
Why did you leave?
I want you back.
I want to tell you everything.
I am older and I want to ask you questions I didn't think to ask before.
Your death makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for you.
I want to hug you.
Let's go crazy one more time.
Please.
Months before you died I bought a pair of socks, they said "daddy's girl"
I wanted you to see them.
I thought you would.
You played wolf… I didn't think you were going to die this time.
I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you.
Why did this happen?
Please come back daddy.
I really miss you.
I love you.
please.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:12 AM UTC
There you are, floating man.
pale face against my window.
Are you standing on my bed or hanging from my ceiling?
You are facing my window, but are you peering out?
Your eyes seem closed.
My eyes are barely open.
You are wearing a red stripped shirt that pops off your pale skin.
Your wrinkles are deep. Everything about you is deep.
You seem like you are dead or dying.
It is the morning, and here you are.
just floating over my bed.
I don't know you, who are you?…
An illusion?
A dream?
A ghost?
I fall back asleep and dream about you.
I told myself you were nice and I happened upon a rare moment...
You didn't know I had woke.
You didn't know that I saw you hanging there.
You were just passing by and decided to bask in the morning rays of sun that burst through my window.
Unbeknownst to you, I was watching...
I was scared to open my eyes.
Are you still there?
Why the hell am I so calm?!?
I wake to find you feet from me and I decide to write a poem…
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:09 AM UTC
Army crawl through dirt
We are dodging the missiles
Oh no! I've been hit!
Cigarette burns, hole in my
skirt. Oh what a childhood!
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:06 AM UTC
It creeps in the night, a drag in its step.
It looks at me, those blood shot eyes.
It is something I have started to despise.
A small but strong foe.
I hoped it wasn't so as I walked in.
I could feel the heaviness in the air.
Beware. I wont be scared.
I will be fine. I'll confront it, it will then deny.
It doesn't matter though, I'll try.
That blank look peers into my soul.
Selfish, out to destroy me.
The troops wont be deployed.
With my brain it has toyed.
Beware, I need to be prepared.
A step at a time inching toward this beast that awaits.
Then it sees me……
It lunges forward, toward my heart.
It starts to tear me apart.
I crumble to the floor, looking to the door that the beasts is walking toward.
I lay there, now looking at the ceiling, overcome with this sad feeling.
Was this really my meaning?
Breaths getting shorter, it's harder to breathe.
In my final seconds my eyes start to close.
The beast is at ease.
It is now pleased, standing in the doorway watching me drift away.
The beast then walks away, off to bed.
It rests it head on the pillow getting ready for work tomorrow.
I wake alone in bed.
I walk around the empty house.
It is quiet, it is cold.
I know the story isn't done being told.
When it comes home, I start to have the feeling again.
With all my fright I walk into the room just to make sure the beast isn't out to play.
I hold it tight, then I look up to see its bloodshot eyes.
It's been a short day, It will be a long arduous night.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 2:54 AM UTC