Tonight
Cold and warm all at once tonight it's easy.
Moments like staring at stars or singing or yelling at the top of our lungs.
You make it feel so easy.
Tonight
I could say it.
I could say those words make my heart jump out of my chest and into your arms.
I could say that word that causes everything to feel infinite.
Tonight
I could change this. I could shift everything we've become.
But I won't say it...
at least not
Tonight
Dec 18, 2023
Dec 18, 2023 at 8:05 PM UTC
Empty spaces are the bane of my existence.
I watch through a glass screen fixated with LED lights and wiring so I can see her face when she's 15 minutes away but 10 if she's driving.
I leave a space in my bed and sit with my hand pressed against my temple and my arm draped over me and holding my side.
I leave an empty space where her body would fit perfectly.
where her arms would wrap around me where her shoulder would replace my hand and comfort my temple but instead I watch her unknowingly leave a space for me.
her arm played over empty spaces and her hand resting on a pillow where my head should be instead its nothing but empty spaces.
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 13, 2019 at 1:52 AM UTC
I can't write today
I've erased and rewritten
I've erased and rewritten
I've erased and rewritt
you get my point
this poem has sat in the drafts box for years
every time its opened the name changes
it goes from Hate to routine
from routine to Ashley
from Ashley to lonely
from lonely to older
from older to poly
from poly to...thats new
that button at the bottom of my screen
that button that's yelling at me
that button that could save me
Delete This Poem
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 5:14 PM UTC
I'm sitting on the floor of a friend of a friends house
I been here for some time and had some time to rewind when suddenly the friend of a friend said something I didn't like.
"It's more than her period making her a *****
Intoxicated me wanted to laugh
sober me wanted to scoff
Wow, a period joke as if my menstrual cycle is something to be laughed at
As if the blood flowing out of me don't make me the definition of a wonder woman.
Yet instead its a joke, instead its your answer for when I question your misogynistic values.
"Get a sense of humor" they yell when its more than my period making me a *****
making me the female dog
Well this ***** does a lot more then bark
I bite
MY body is not your joke
MY womanhood is not your bag of wisecracks
PERIOD.
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 11:37 AM UTC
Focus
she reads
her crazy showing more than usual
"I'll **** him"
she says
her jersey accent strong like my morning coffee
"I'm joking"
she laughs
her presence making it hard for me to
Focus
her voice makes my mind think of lazy Sundays
blankets above us like canopy's
awnings that hold nothing but past memories
a glance in a tenth grade math class
suddenly fourteen year old me couldn't
Focus
no she was not perfect
her mind a bit to wild
her eyes a sliver to beautiful
her laugh a tad to intoxicating
her voice a pinch to sweet
her a bit to
Focus
I fell in love with the
artistic, the crazy,
the jersey girl who with her extensive collection of art supplies
sketched
drew
and painted my world.
every color a pastel oil
every shape a charcoal sketch
everything she touched
vibrant like neon signs and now that shes gone i cant
Focus
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:27 AM UTC
This is is an ode to my past partners
To those I let climb inside my body
To the women I loved
Your hands roamed my body and skin
Your lips like those of a voyagers
with every whisper and caress was a new world
On every new island was a new feeling
a new sensation
a new part of me I had yet to know
To the men I loved
You plucked my rose from the earth
you turned me into a beautiful bouquet of flowers
and with every flower was a new thought
a new emotion
a new reality
To those I loved
I did not love you for no reason
I did not waste my time in the classrooms you called relationships
because in each of these was a new lover
a new me
a new heartbreak
yet because of you I became stronger and greater than before.
To those I have yet to know
I will not always be happy
I will not always have the answer
but I will always have my humor
To those I have yet to love
you are not ready for the new things we will endure
but I promise it will all be worth it
worth it to find the new
smiles
the new friendships
the new eachother
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:17 AM UTC
A single kiss
A single kiss can send my mind into a world of bliss
A world of bliss
A world of bliss that is wrapped around your body
Around your body
Around your body so much so that my limbs become tangled in yours
Tangled in yours
Tangled in yours so my arms drape over your chest and yours wrapped around me the best way you know how.
How
How can a single kiss leave me full of static
Static
Static like light flicking off attic walls leaving me full of loneliness
Full of loneliness
Full of loneliness and longing for the closeness we had only moments before
Moments before
Moments before that left my heart racing and my senses tingling
Tingling
Tingling as if to say please show me more
More
More of the beautiful world you call your mind.
Your Mind
Your mind that twists and turns like roots that lead to the tallest tree
The tallest tree
The tallest tree that if I ask to climb it and you agree I would then ask could you meet me
Meet me
Meet me at the top of your tree
with a single kiss.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 10:08 AM UTC
Surrounded by those you care about most only to feel incredibly alone in the midst of it all
Take a bite of the magic food and feel your body relax
Feel your mind fuse with the THC that is now in use
You are the you that you always wanted to be and all it took was a little hit of ****
Take a puff and feel the smoke bite at your lungs
As you inhale what you consider to be sweet freedom you exhale the blissful self medication of narcotic release
You 'll laugh and join in a crowd to feel alive.
Now ask yourself this
Are you proud
Proud of how you have to use smoke clouds to enjoy the beautiful world around you
Alone
the thing I hate to be the most
now look at me
sober
lonely
broken
The person I want to be is gone
Now all I want to feel is the chemical melodies of the song that is my high
I want to tell those I love goodbye and not feel guilty that I want to die
Tell them that when I get high I feel as close to death as ever
Tell them to let me be
tell them I set myself free.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 9:56 AM UTC
In that one moment everything changed
she went from innocence to cliche
Just turned sixteen and it was claimed
the path she chose now changed
leaving the broken remains
and a girl who knows to much
Who knows how to ****
who knows what it means to ****
who knows how it feels to moan out in ecstasy when she is touched
In that one moment everything changed
she went from cliche to ****
Just wanted to be loved but instead got ******
rumors flew of what was growing in her gut
the poor boy couldn't keep his mouth shut
she hadn't bled in over a month
with blood drawn she knew he didn't ***
negative results from tests taken
knowing everything's price isn't worth payin
In that one moment everything changed
she went from **** to *****
she got tired of trying to scratch that itch
no longer wanting to be the ****
tired of her name being passed around
knowing now that she had to fix
knowing how she now had to stitch her life together.
now she was bit by something he kept secret
she laid down with that dog and got up with a disease
it's so sad i thought he really loved me
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 2:55 PM UTC
Mama I'm lost
I can't find my way back
You said stay on the side walk
As always I didn't listen now I'm lost
Mama I'm lost
I ended up hurt again
You said don't play with boys
As always I thought i knew better now I'm lost
Mama I'm lost
I don't know who I am
You said always be true to yourself
As always I tried to be what others wanted now I'm lost
Mama I'm lost
I can't find my way back
I ended up hurt again
I don't know who I am
I'm lost
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 3:55 PM UTC