I wish you’ve never heard me laugh,
I wish you’ve never seen me cry.
I hate how without even looking, you can tell I’m upset,
I hate when you can tell I’m lying.
I want every night to be like November,
I want you to race back to my house and spend two hours with me in the driveway.
I want to be your biggest fan.
I love how you say you’ll call,
I love the tattoo on your right shoulder that you never posted,
I love how irritated you get when I say ‘never mind’
I love to imagine I mean something to you, maybe just a fraction of a thought.
I want to yell at you and pick fights,
I want to tell you you’re insane when you swerve on the road to avoid the potholes,
I want to be the best friend you thought you didn’t need,
I want to hold your hand.
I know you’re leaving me in the rubble,
I know you’re driving far, far away,
I know why you’re leaving too.
I want to know your heart like how you’ve come to live in mine,
I want to know you like how you’ve come to know me.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 4:57 PM UTC
I hope when you leave,
You don’t think about leaving me.
I hope we stay friends,
I hope we still have the 2 a.m talks.
I love the way you told me goodbye,
I love that you knew from day one.
I think you know me too well,
I think you see me too clearly
You’re my friend and I wish I could disappear with you.
I’m never sure if you’re smiling at me or looking just over my shoulder.
I hope you come back in April,
I hope we go on that road trip in May.
I wish I could say the things I’m too stressed to say.
I’m missing you like hell, although I’ll smile when you drive away.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 4:56 PM UTC
Maybe in May we’ll drive to New York,
Maybe in May you’ll say we could work.
I’ve loved you since January,
On my 17th birthday,
When another boy’s arm was around me but I wanted it to be yours.
When I looked around and saw you first.
I want to drive away with you,
But I can never be with you,
I’ll always just be a faint smell from the passenger seat,
Smelling like a candle that’s been blown out,
I hope my name never is meaningless in your mouth,
I love your wood-grain heart,
I think I’ll see you soon. Four months will change a man.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 4:55 PM UTC
I do not like the way you touched me.
The way you touched me when you thought I was asleep.
The way you wanted to touch me when I was awake.
The way I would never let you touch me when I was awake.
I do not like how you pushed my hair back,
almost as an act of love, protective, sweet, tender,
you were tender and sweet,
but when I laid with you,
on the pull out couch,
you made moves and I was trying to sleep.
All I wanted to do was sleep.
I didnt do what you wanted so you pushed me off,
saying how I should leave a mark on you for once,
saying how you're always doing all the work,
while you were physical, i needed emotional,
I needed you to care enough,
and now as we are broken up,
and you call me another one of your ****** ex girlfriends,
I dont understand why,
why you wasted your three o'clock moves,
on me,
since I am so ****** according to you
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 26, 2016 at 6:48 PM UTC
I broke up with him,
I broke off that tie,
I have no friends,
and I want to die.
Not one second of my day feels good,
not one second feels alright.
I am alone, I am a mistake.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 6:13 PM UTC
I cant go to bed the same way I used to,
it used to take me hours to drift asleep,
but now it takes only a second,
I'm so tired.
I cant cry the same way I used to,
it used to take a lot to cause me to break,
but now it takes only a second,
I'm so sad.
I dont socialize the say way,
it used to be a second nature,
but now I no longer try,
I'm so lonely.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 6:09 PM UTC
Anything you say,
Nothing you could've done
Damning my soul to hell
Reaching the deepest chamber of me,
Every minute my thoughts are of you.
Whenever the time is right, I hope you see.
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 10:59 PM UTC
I hope I scare you so much that you just go,
so I won't have to push you away myself.
I hope I scare you so badly you stay away,
just because you know who I am.
The scariest part about me is that I'm you,
I'm mirroring every action and every word.
I hope I scare you half of fright
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015 at 10:55 PM UTC
You were never loved,
Not by me at least,
So dont worry it wasn't anyone important
You've still got everything under control
And I'm stabbing into my skin pleading for,
For maybe just an ounce of self love
So dont worry, not like you would anyways
I'm as irrelevant as always, isn't that right.
Alone is how I'm supposed to be.
Dead is how I'm supposed to be.
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015 at 10:48 PM UTC
I realized you no longer want me,
Because every time I say "I miss u"
You pull farther away
You DONT love me.
You never did, isnt that right?
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 12:13 AM UTC