My heart is bruised, beaten, and caged....fix it
My skin is marked with a million tracks of footprints from the past.....fix it
My eyes no longer shine, tainted by what has been seen.....fix them
My spirit is tormented, release the bonds...fix it
I am broken.......fix me
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 5, 2011 at 10:45 AM UTC
I look out to the horizon, search for a sign of you
only a rough dusty landscape lays all around for miles
But I feel it in my heart that somewhere out there is you.
My boots drag through dirt and mud, my body is tired
But still I feel a warmth keeping me alive inside
A smell of sulfur in the air draws me on, i know you are near
As the night darkness spreads across the sky
a distant flickering light awakens my senses
my pace quickens, my hunger for you growing stronger
A fiery spiral emerges and ascends from the earth
each beacon of fire is an obstacle to where is most sacred
and there it is, the sign, you are here, your fiery heart shines bright
I run to find you, drawn to the heart of the Universe
black, ***** and dusty you appear,
we become entwined as one, your fiery heart has brought us together
you are my fire, within my Universe
Sep 26, 2011
Sep 26, 2011 at 7:06 PM UTC
I have shed my clothes of bureaucracy
those which had stained my skin
i am no longer tainted to my core
i am free now to be born again.
I am no longer the vehicle to transport from left to right
shuffling papers, seeing only dawn then night.
No longer do i watch the clock,tock tick, tick tock
or lie to be listened to, or to listen to a lie.
Today is the day i burst into life to breathe hard and deep
for a moment i hold that breath and listen to my heart beat
like a drum it beats, but now i will dance to the beat of my own tune
i will follow only the passion that stems from my soul.
I will just be.
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 18, 2011 at 4:48 PM UTC
The lump in my throat has returned once again
stemmed from familiar stirrings in the pit of my stomach
just when I think I've locked them in their black box for eternity
they break loose and begin the ascent
like long twisting fingers groping the vines of my heart
tightening, squeezing, forcing me to feel emotion
like a partner in crime-memories show up
and dance around me, tapping me, tripping me
hugging me, loving me, until one stands alone
there you are, standing, waiting, twenty years have passed
the warm embrace, the joyful reunion,
but life's cruel twist of fate would not allow it
you were taken from me, so many things left unsaid
so many moments left unshared, questions left unanswered
Oh Daddy dear, one day we'll meet again.
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 14, 2011 at 2:52 PM UTC
For too long I thought about your strong stature
that presence that quickened my breath
the closer we became, your scent intoxicated me
your inquiring mind attracted me, to discover
your mischievous eyes distracted me
your lips that parted so softly with each spoken word
I was lost in the world of you...and the possibility of us
Chance, risk, bravery took hold of me one night
Spurned on with thoughts of a finite life
I closed my eyes, and jumped
and landed with a thud on the plain of rejection
The feeling engulfed me, swirled through me like drafts through the rafters
but valiance shone through, relief overcame pity
the voice of fate whispered he's not for you
grasping at that, I soldiered on and recovered from the
sickness of love, or lust, or longing
And now someone else has you,
aesthetically pleasing to quote your phrase
to share in the laughter, and the joys of life
So here's to ye both, my love, and my best friend
may ye find out what ye are really like
Jun 12, 2011
Jun 12, 2011 at 2:56 PM UTC
I practice my penetrative stare,
the one that will ignite an explosion of fear from within your core
the anger inside me is preparing for battle
hot blood is rushing through my veins
adrenalin pulsing faster, harder
I open my mouth to breathe fire onto your fear filled face
And then you say sorry
Instant deflation, dissipation
The Armour retracts, and I am bordering on the conclusion
To err is human, to forgive is divine
which am I for I feel neither
Jun 12, 2011
Jun 12, 2011 at 2:26 PM UTC
There we are, our depiction is a funhouse mirror reflection
you are the baby plant that is watered and fed daily
you are cared for and cherished, as your buds begin to grow
you are put in sunlight for your stem to grow,
your leaves to flourish and your buds to blossom
you are replanted in a special place for all to see
you are given room for your branches to stretch out and up
you were lovingly pruned and preened, held in highest esteem
you are protected from the wind and rain, from the frosty pain
And there I was at times in your shadow, where I fought for the light
I was fed and nourished just like you,
I was cared for and cherished just like you
but somehow things changed, and I became easily forgotten
no regular feeding, no sunlight to grow, no buds to blossom
one by one my leaves withered and died,and fell silently to the floor
starved of love, starved of affection, such a pathetic reflection
but the miracle of life touched me one day
and the spark of nature encouraged the green from the grey
I have grown strong and mighty, for many to lean on
I protect and encourage, and love with joyful abandon
Today the reflection in the mirror has changed
But the memories are still deeply engraved in the bark
Nov 5, 2010
Nov 5, 2010 at 2:10 PM UTC
I'm Bored......I'm Lonely.......What will I do?
I think of some stupid excuse to call you
I act nonchalant, and pretend I could not care less
When I ask if you want to come over and watch me undress
You say "be ready, I'll be over in ten"
And again I'm left waiting, again and again
I curse and spit, and swear it's the last time
I put myself out there to fall, hook, sinker and line
Then four hours later, I hear the car in the drive
I jump to my feet, and wipe the tears from my eyes
In the doorway you stand, not a boy, not a man
Just a terrible liar, who gets away with what he can
I nod and listen to your feeble excuse
And I wonder how I take this hurtful abuse?
I answer my question when you throw your arms round me
It's to feel that someone in this life still loves me
But it's not love, it's not even true feeling
I'm just another cog in the wheel of your wheeling and dealing
So I go through the motions, and fake all the pleasure
And pray to God that you realise that i'm a treasure
But this prayer is not one that is heard tonight
And it's not long again before you are gone out of sight
And all that is left is your scent on my bed
And the painful feelings in my heart and my head
Sep 12, 2010
Sep 12, 2010 at 3:29 PM UTC
I'll never forget the first time I saw your cherries
Who'd have thought I would be so attracted to some berries
As I wandered aimlessly from scene to scene
from the weird to the wonderful, to the grossly obscene.
Then I happened upon this beautiful sight
Suddenly all around me was so still and so quiet
Never before had I had such a feeling
from a piece of art that was more than appealing
What seemed like a thousand cherries, here before my eyes
lovingly depicted by an artist more than wise
A painting of fruit had taken on a new dimension
One that could easily remove all tension
Each tiny little sphere, with a life of their own
had come to live in this new little home
some with shadows, some with shine,
once fresh and growing wild, now were mine.
I wanted to dive right in, to be in the midst of all sin
Enveloped in a strange sensation, would bring much elation
To hide beneath all this red, or to lay on top of this bed
and close my eyes and take a deep breath
I would die happy, if this last breath, brought death
Sep 11, 2010
Sep 11, 2010 at 3:17 PM UTC
Aint it funny when you think, that you're all alone,
in a room so empty, there's nobody home.
But in a place close by, there's a deafening tone
Coz inside your head there's a war going on.
Running over conversations, some that i've had,
others i've made up, that are driving me mad,
where once they were good, my head turns them bad.
All the people, places and things, i can't control,
a voice tells me otherwise, it's destroying my soul.
Like the father, the son and the holy ghost,
there are three of us now,which one should i listen to most?
Just like the image on the big picture screen,
the good and bad on the sides, and me in between.
I want them stop, all the shouting and noise,
to cease all the chaos hiding deep behind my eyes.
Just for once, couldn't they just all agree,
and with some peace, just leave me be.
But it's a request that's easier said than done,
for these relentless voices in my head is their home.
Asking them to hush or even to leave,
seems to me an incredible impossibility.
Then one day all of a sudden, something became apparent,
A friend looked at me, as if my head were transparent.
Described all the madness that inside was going on,
as if they had lived here too all along.
At last in the world i didn't feel so alone,
And slowly but surely a little peace came to my home.
In the house where lived not only me,
but the many voices that spoke horrendously.
Of this prison with invisible walls, i was set free.
No longer would i argue with him, her and me.
Is this a miracle? i asked of my new friend,
Because this fight is one, i thought would never end.
She said maybe so, you can call it what you like,
but one thing i know, you will sleep good tonight.
So many questions i have for her now,
Of why this has stopped, i beg tell me how.
She said just relax, just let it be,
you've heard of sleeping dogs, they lie beside me.
And i dare not disturb, i tread easily.
But i know any minute, that they could awake.
And again once inside, the battle could break,
into a full scale war, like it was once before,
so again just leave it be, don't open the door.
Don't even hover around it, or peek through the keyhole,
because what's behind this door will terrify your soul.
Just know that's it there, but you don't need it now,
this is only answer to your question of how.
She also reminded me that i shouldn't forget,
what hasn't happened now, could still happen yet.
And to remember what invited, those scary voices in
but keeping the door locked, won’t let it happen again.
Although they remain the father, son, and the holy ghost.
Today, for one day, I have a higher power i listen to most.
And the feeling of complete loneliness is gone,
and it's thanks to my friend, i am happy at home.
Both outside and in, the torture has ceased
and all of the gifts in my life, have so increased
because now inside, the fight, battle and war are deceased.
Sep 11, 2010
Sep 11, 2010 at 10:27 AM UTC