I've been pulling my own mind apart over hypotheticals
Over thinking
OVER thinking
Obsessing on someone who I have no connection with
Dreaming about ending things with someone I do
Is this a life lesson
Have I loved "too" hard in the past and this is my repentance
I'm afraid to be alone because I never have been
I'm afraid of who I am alone
The quiet is scary
If these are my thoughts while content
What will they be when I'm alone.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 6:26 AM UTC
Sometimes I feel more like a caretaker than a partner
Sometimes
I love you unconditionally and completely
But sometimes I'm too tired to know how.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 6:23 AM UTC
Happy
Have I ever been happy?
There are such small moments where the outside world fades away and I think I am
Then it passes and it all comes back into focus and I'm not just unhappy
I'm drowning.
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 6:21 AM UTC
Being fat is hard
Your first bully will always be your mother
Then there will be your peers
And over time you start to break
But food is your comfort, so it's all you can turn to when you're feeling down
You build this personality to make others laugh
So that they dont laugh AT you
You convince yourself that anyone who does want you will only want you for a moment
Then they prove it over and over again
The number of men who've touched my body without even a kiss
Tells me they didn't want me at all
They just wanted to get off
Being fat is hard
All you want is love and acceptance
All you want is to be desired
And all you feel sometimes is snubbed
Whether by society, your loved ones or life
Being fat is hard.
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 5:44 AM UTC
I can't even begin to describe the lust
I look up into your eyes
I look at your strong arms
I watch in confusion and awe
As my body reacts to every moment spent in your presence
I don't understand this craving
I just think it would be delicious to try.
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 5:39 AM UTC
I am the marrow
And you envelop me
It feels like there's a string
From my soul to yours
I've sawed at it for so long
And nothing can cut it
I want you
And you're willing to break yourself
And leave me exposed.
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 5:37 AM UTC
I was born to submit to the universe
Forced to take things I didn't want
Feel things I didn't understand
An empty space where my father should have been
An overflowing space where my mother always has been
I crumbled with my first love
And the chaos that ensued...
Submit to this man
And that one too
Because all I've ever had was my body to give
And they never minded to take without permission
I'd slice myself open
But the worst form of self harm was slicing my heart open after every bed I was in
I was born to submit
The universe has me in it's grip
It's been so long I've started to enjoy the feeling of it around my neck
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 5:37 AM UTC
My love for you is shelved
Like an old book in the library that no one ever checks out
The dust gathers and the edges fray but the words remain
You cannot un-write a story.
Oct 20, 2025
Oct 20, 2025 at 5:39 AM UTC
We have so much history together
Those emotions are burned into my skin
But I don't know what I want more
To remember
Or forget
Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 6:22 AM UTC
Why don't they teach little girls
That your first love will stain your soul
Your husband can scrub and yet the history can never be erased
There will always be moments I think of you
They don't teach little girls how first love feels
And they certainly don't teach what it is to be loved, truly and completely
And I'm so grateful I learned.
Jun 12, 2025
Jun 12, 2025 at 6:00 AM UTC