nulll - Hello Poetry

it's hard to have a healthy amount of self love when you do not have a healthy amount of knowledge pertaining to who you happen to be. when I'm nervous I laugh in the most awkward way, like all the things I'm insecure about don't really matter and its not hard for me to find the right way to explain "this isn't okay and i am not okay" i tripped over the loose threads of my mind and now i'm stuck without an idea of how to get up. Looking at loose ends and piecing myself together is much more fun. everything i say is in stutters it is slow and awkward and sounds so unrehearsed even though i ran the lines 800 times. I just wasn't ready for the way the audience would look at me i wasnt ready for how much id care about their opinions. "Im punk rock I do what I want" if you know me I've said that to you. ******** "Im unsure of who I am in my entirety, I'll do what you want me to if youll help me figure myself out. I'll probably do what you want anyways because I like it when you're happy but I don't know how to make anyone happy without first fumbling don't worry you yourself are fine you're wonderful really I'd like to be comfortable around you it's not you it's me I'm a ******* cliche hahaha wouldnt it just be best for us all if i rendered my tongue unable to move yes i think so too shut off the gears in my mind while we are at it sorry sorry sorry sorry" Punk rock is unapologetic. I am anything but. "Atlas, you're so quiet" You'd be too if any time you opened your mouth an inadequate jumble of stststutteradjectiveadjectivenounverb wait no itsitsitsitsidontknow with the subtext (sorryimnotgoodenoughpleasedontrealizeit) fell out.

0

Oct 11, 2016

Oct 11, 2016 at 4:10 PM UTC

I have really green eyes especially when I cry

it's hard to have a healthy amount of self love when you do not have a healthy amount of knowledge pertaining to who you happen to be. when I'm nervous I laugh in the most awkward way, like all the things I'm insecure about don't really matter and its not hard for me to find the right way to explain "this isn't okay and i am not okay" i tripped over the loose threads of my mind and now i'm stuck without an idea of how to get up. Looking at loose ends and piecing myself together is much more fun. everything i say is in stutters it is slow and awkward and sounds so unrehearsed even though i ran the lines 800 times. I just wasn't ready for the way the audience would look at me i wasnt ready for how much id care about their opinions. "Im punk rock I do what I want" if you know me I've said that to you. ******** "Im unsure of who I am in my entirety, I'll do what you want me to if youll help me figure myself out. I'll probably do what you want anyways because I like it when you're happy but I don't know how to make anyone happy without first fumbling don't worry you yourself are fine you're wonderful really I'd like to be comfortable around you it's not you it's me I'm a ******* cliche hahaha wouldnt it just be best for us all if i rendered my tongue unable to move yes i think so too shut off the gears in my mind while we are at it sorry sorry sorry sorry" Punk rock is unapologetic. I am anything but. "Atlas, you're so quiet" You'd be too if any time you opened your mouth an inadequate jumble of stststutteradjectiveadjectivenounverb wait no itsitsitsitsidontknow with the subtext (sorryimnotgoodenoughpleasedontrealizeit) fell out.

11

I envy the stars, For they can go Billions of years Before forgetting how to shine And I could barely go ten. I was that age when, The lights behind my eyes And the lights all around me Seemed to go dim, Never again to mirror the sun.

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May 22, 2015

May 22, 2015 at 10:06 AM UTC

Stars

I envy the stars, For they can go Billions of years Before forgetting how to shine And I could barely go ten. I was that age when, The lights behind my eyes And the lights all around me Seemed to go dim, Never again to mirror the sun.

10

**Dear World, Today is The day I Break down the walls. Today is The day I Breathe it all in. Today is The day I Open my heart. Today is The day I LIVE. For so long I have barricaded myself Behind the thickest of masks, And now it is time For it to fall No longer a Nameless face, A lost human, A waste of space Today is The day I Learn to fly! -Boy** *Boy, Today is The day I Break your heart in two. Today is The day I Let reality suffocate you. Today is The day I Close your mind. Today is The day your aspirations DIE. For I am To harden your heart I will leave you rejected With no hope Of ever belonging. Draw the mask Back over your face This is not a place For being yourself. Today is The day I Permanently break your wings. -World*

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May 20, 2015

May 20, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC

Letters

52

I have a poets soul, I am willing to bleed my heart out Onto blank paper But the prospect Of speaking my mind Leaves me shaking. This soul Is thousands of years old, I have lived a lifetime after lifetime And have died a hundred times over Yet the thought of the grave Shakes me, inside and out.

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May 19, 2015

May 19, 2015 at 5:58 PM UTC

Soul

I have a poets soul, I am willing to bleed my heart out Onto blank paper But the prospect Of speaking my mind Leaves me shaking. This soul Is thousands of years old, I have lived a lifetime after lifetime And have died a hundred times over Yet the thought of the grave Shakes me, inside and out.

12