1
the way my body responds to your touch
shivering and arching
makes me believe that you have magic
pulsating through your fingertips
when i hear your heartbeat
i know i am alive
our breath synced together
made everything fit
laying next you, intertwined
i have never been more content
your touch
your words
your presence and laughter
2
you made me lose myself
i made me lose everything to you
love is a fickle fiend
a ruthless *****
she comes and goes and pretends to stay
she makes you trick yourself
until you forget whats real and true
until you forget who you really are
until you forget who you want to be
3
i can't
i can't write letters to you
i can't answer your questions
i can't be sensitive and kind
i can't tell you everything
or anything at all.
i do not love you
4
i am happy without your love
because i love myself
i hope you are happy too
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 2:51 PM UTC
i claim my space.
i am allowed to be here.
i have the same right as any of you.
i will stay
until i want to leave.
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 1:13 PM UTC
she's come with a vengeance for being forgotten
how could you have forgotten your temptress
your Queen
your shadow
your own mind?
she formed you
she's all you have
how could you have forgotten her vacuous depths?
no defining end, devouring everything in her path
she knows no bounds
back home in her claws
wholly fixated on what you can see
solely her
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 3:22 PM UTC
love is our fickle beast
that we long to fight together
to conquer that which torments us
but this beasty will always live among us
inside at least one of us
and we must learn to work along together, despite him
not in spite of him
love is our tormenting foe
who, in the end
might be a friend after all
despite his doomed predictions and presumptions
it could be that he is not completely evil
perhaps it is possible
to live alongside a monster
yet have him be our motivation
Mar 29, 2020
Mar 29, 2020 at 10:54 PM UTC
how can you expect to find peace without your feet on the ground?
find even without odd, find silence without sound?
how will you find honest pleasure without feeling genuine pain?
there is no winning without playing the game.
you can have no identity without giving yourself a name
dark and light, left and right, the balance is the same
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 8:06 PM UTC
as things sink deeper into my bones, solidifying and creating holes
the holes begin to burn and twist into cavernous depths,
i want to SHRIEK let me be free!
please, let go of my poor old aching bones
release the iron grip of reality,
stop the unbearable agony
that i caused for myself,
my own pain sinking deeper into itself
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 8:01 PM UTC
when that's just it
that's all you got
and that's all you will ever have
it is your core
and for forever always
it will be in your middle, sticking you together
thank god for that
the glue in the middle
forever and always
it will never abandon you
or leave you for dead
it is yourself
for forever and always
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 7:44 PM UTC
PAST
She needed to be reminded of who she was. She needed assurances from long-lost strangers. She needed to be told she was right and that she could fly. She needed to be tucked in at night and impassioned with light. She needed something from them that they could not give. She needed what she could not have. She needed to not be sad. She needed for a change to inspire. She needed to be told of her truth and her fight.
PRESENT
She needed too much from other people, and that was her downfall. One day a part of her died, the part that needed constant reassurance and love. It was brutally murdered by her own hands, in a fit of passion. And she was happy, far better off, without the weight of others within her.
FUTURE
She needs to remind herself of who she was, is and will be. She needs to push herself and keep moving f o r w a r d. She will always need something from herself that she can give, and will no longer waste on other people. She will be strong, and loved, and happy!
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 7:42 PM UTC
my friends and i
keep it in the air
together, forever, keep it flying
working as one
having the most fun
keep it in the air
together, forever, in memory
and love
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 7:36 PM UTC
i used to be a slave to the words that were all i could hear, that consumed my only clear thoughts and ideas. i used to be obsessed with capturing them and wrangling them into exactly what i meant them to be. and that proved too hard, because i am weak and words are fickle.
i used to stare at everything in my sight as hard as i could to get the exact picture i wanted to capture. i used to wonder about who and what and when and where. the permanence of the captured picture brought me back in time, into memories and old sights and places. i took a camera with me everywhere so i could capture all of my thoughts, all of my feelings and memories. and that proved too hard, as pictures develop into nothing unique, nothing clear.
i used to draw and shade and mold and touch. my fingers needed to create, needed to explode. i created what was easiest, what flowed out with no second thought. i used to try and let it take over me. and that proved too hard, as my hand seized up and i gave up. because of talent. because of pain. because nothing came rushing through my fingertips.
i used to think myself into different lands, different lives and different ideologies. i used to get lost within nothing, easily distracted by the cycles in my head, the cycles of life and love and death and pain. that proved too hard, because i am weak and only wanted numbness, darkness, thoughtlessness.
the thoughts and words and pictures and ideas dulled into the ordinary. everything has the same release that nothing does. how exhausting, when i only need a little bit of release. i have dulled myself into oblivion while looking for adrenaline. and now it looks like i'm out of chances, because i gave up. because i am so weak.
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 7:33 PM UTC