The night you left, I slept for 3 hours and 21 minutes
Which was no use
Every hour, I woke up
Praying that it was a bad dream
Hoping that you were still there
Shutting my eyes
Accepting again and again
That you were never coming back
There was some sort of comfort in that
I wouldn't have known what to do
If we ever crossed paths
6 months have passed, and I’m still stuck
With the deafening silence you left behind
With the meaningless words you said
With the heavy secrets I swore not to tell
With the thought of who I thought you were
With the truth of who you really turned out to be
Stuck with you
You’re 1,769 miles away and yet
I can still feel you everywhere I go
A ghost trailing me, watching my every step
Waiting for me to break down
Waiting to whisper “You still need me”
-
I used to check my phone every 5 minutes
Glimpsing to see if you left me a message
Not out of concern, but out of habit
And old habits die hard
Now I only check my phone to look at the time
Someone once told me that time heals all wounds
They obviously haven’t met you
Because no matter how long it’s been
Time will never be able to heal the wound
That you left behind after you said goodbye
To me, to us
9 months, 20 days, and 1,769 miles ago
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
Fireworks never frightened me
When I was younger, I used to reach up to the sky
Hoping that I could somehow catch them
I guess it worked somehow
The sparks made their way into my veins
Igniting everything they touched
I soon embodied fire
It spewed out of me during arguments
Burned down all my bridges
It was my armor, my protection
Until it engulfed the people I loved
In flames not even I could extinguish
One by one they left
And for the first time in history
Fire transformed into water
Now, instead of an inferno
There is a flood
Instead of sparks
There is rain
Instead of burns
Everyone is drowning
I will never be the person they want me to be
I am either too much
Or never enough
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 1:29 AM UTC
Every story has a beginning, middle, and end
Not particularly in that order
I found our end somewhere in the middle
But I chose to ignore the danger signs
Now I'm left on the road, bruised and scarred
All because you didn't know which way to go
And I didn't bother to ask for directions
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 4:22 AM UTC
Sometimes I like to believe that all the pain is gone
That what happened was just a paper cut
That everything would go back to normal
That I'm okay
That I'm over it
Then there are mornings like today
When I still have a bitter aftertaste in my mouth
For a long time I thought it was my coffee
But my coffee isn't as bitter
As the words you had led me to say
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 7:19 AM UTC