There's always going to be moments
Where people ask if you are ok
It doesn't matter if they know you're not
They will still ask and expect
One reply
The one reply that completely betrays
Your own thoughts
And you who is already exhausted
For having too much to deal with
Decides to play along
With this little role play everyone experiences
So you merely read off the script
Shared between you and everyone else
And say that you're fine
Truthfully, you do believe it
You just have a different definition of
F.I.N.E.
In your head you are thinking
About your definition of it
Over and over again
Repeating it constantly
Because all you think and feel is that
****
I'm
Never
Enough!
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 2:46 AM UTC
I am dying
Everyone just walks past
I finally let my self give up
Silently calling
And for one of the few times
I actually reach out to the same by-passers
The pain I'm trying to escape from
Deepens as they look into my glazed eyes
And sneer at me
Disgust fills theirs faces at my pathetic attempt
In my head I'm doing that to my self
The only thing is that
The by-passers are nice enough
To not say anything to me
And just leave me alone
In the dark pit
The voices in my head
Are so much more cruel
They love how they can clench
My heart and destroy my spirit
Time and time again.
I'm getting tired of being half awake now
Thoughts of finally being able to sleep
Fills my head
And the voices find much to rejoice in them
They love it and encourage it.
Acts that would bring me closer to my finally resting sleep
Are being advertised so often
I'm feeling sleepy
I want to rest
I really do
I want to leave the voices, the pain, the exhaustion - everything behind
I'm tired if constantly fighting
I'm no hero
There's not much reason for me to stay much longer
But then again
I don't want to be associated as a coward
Even if I am one
I don't want to be thought if as that.
It's confusing all these thoughts
I think I might try a little taste
Of what it might take for me to rest
Just a little.
Others have done it before
It's not going to be a big deal
And they aren't even asleep yet!
This little taste might be just what I need.
What I need to get me back on track
To step away from finally resting
I'm in so much pain right now.
I just want a break
I promise a small one will do
I'm tired of falling into pretending
To feel and fighting
To feel again.
There's only so much anyone can take
My limit and stamina is just fleeting me.
It's alright
It had to happen at some point in time, right?
I really just hope the small break
Will be enough
And that I won't run away from it again today.
Cause I'm tired
I'm too tired
My body has already given up on me
So long ago.
My head is tired of fighting only to achieve failure,
I'm tired of being a failure
That spends so much time
Making myself look like a big success
Bet you didn't know that,
Now did you?
And you claim you know me!
You don't know anything about me
Except maybe the angelic image
That I want you to see.
The almost angel on earth
Aside from her uncontrollable minor breakdowns that everyone ignores
It's no big deal
She's not perfect either!
A little breakdown that's out of her character
Won't **** anyone
Well, I guess not.
Except when you go through it so often
All alone
Stranded by yourself
With your thoughts
That haunt you
Jul 4, 2014
Jul 4, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
Miracles are unreliable,
In this unfair world
But chances are always given
You just have to
Spot it and take it
Before time runs out...
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC
Sanity is basically the society's way
Of telling you that you are accepted
And that you most likely are
Like everyone else...
Different levels of insanity
May not always be true
Its just not as widely accepted
As sanity and all that mainstream stuff
But it doesn't mean that you
Truly do fall under that category
Of complete and utter voodoo.
Majority of the times,
It just means you're staying true
To the person you are
That is not defined by the regular border-lines
It just means that you are different
And that's not as bad as they
Make it sound like
It's just different opinions that's all.
One day the world
Will come to understand from your eyes
It always does take time to understand
The geniuses of the world.
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 10:43 AM UTC