I didn't know and
I couldn't understand
Anything about myself.
I couldn't see through and
Never had tools,
Pitch dark and wandering by stars.
I didn't know and
I couldn't understand
Social rules, quiet cues, or how
Became my "muse".
An island
A shipwreck
Adrift at sea
I didn't know and
I couldn't understand
My forsaken longing for true connection,
Or what you meant
When you said
"Stop painstakingly crafting your prose as if you must earn my attention"
Scouring
Half blind
For the unloved part of me.
I didn't know and
I couldn't understand
My desperate diversity.
Shackles clattered free with every blackout pour
Each line a rush of promises I knew would rot
Filled myself to forget nothing was ever there,
Expanding the hollow before it even had a name.
I didn't know and
I couldn't understand
I was heaving the empty unknowing alone,
An anchor keeping me drowned.
With no practice feeling, I stood
Petrified to appear the fool,
I didn't know and
I couldn't understand.
After numbing for years
I finally learned and finally healed,
This quiet apology is not an excuse
Only late recognition from my old recluse.
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025 at 4:59 PM UTC
It's the unbridled excitement
Joy washing over a little mind, a tiny soul
Fast heart, catching words, losing breath
It's the enthusiasm of listening
Attention held for the sake of being enraptured
Wide eyes, fidgeting hands, innocent eyes
It's the space to try and fail and learning to try again
Steadfast calm; room for mistakes into lessons
Furrowed brow, gentle touch, try again
It's the unregulated volume, big laughs and frivolity
Comfort, ease, natural to take up space together
Clenched stomachs, teary eyes, Relaxed
It was "sit down, be quiet, not right now"
Dismissal of a moment but shattering worth and desire
Tight throat, quivering lip, silent steps
It was "no back talk, always sarcastic, never disrespect"
Enraged pores incite fear into obedience
Neutral stare, shutting down, have no thoughts
It was constant fear, coded footsteps and hypervigilance
Always listening in an attempt to be prepared
Tense muscles, quick movements, don't make a sound
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025 at 9:46 AM UTC
Seems Daunting.
Does it not?
External. Outside. No longer part of You.
The place where All and Nothing Exists.
Seems a tad...Relieving, now doesn't it?
It is Everything You once held True.
Feelings, Actions, Desires, and Conversations never spoken.
These things may not have been shared by two Intellectual Beings.
Some would say this makes them not Real.
In certain circumstances, they may be correct.
Yet, There exists a certain realm where they could have happened.
Had You Acted.
There is but this Time. This single ticking Clock.
Those Feelings,
That Every Desire.
Running through Your Mind.
Is Real.
Once Eclipsed Your Soul.
All is Moving,
Constantly Turning.
Each Action Bares Your Soul.
Is a Decision.
Follow True Hearts Content.
Rise and Be Free.
Exactly as it is Meant to Be.
Chances will Happen Again.
Bound to Come Around.
In passing Time some believe another life.
Exactly how much do we remain the same over these passing years? How far do our memories actually reconnect? How often do You remember childhood laughter; lessons? How many things does our subconscious actually hold on to; Guides us and Retrieves us from acting so wholly?
Each Individual possesses a Bound...
Their Universe.
Their Thoughts.
Their Energy.
Their Lives.
Are thoughts, once spoken
Not Ideas Shared?
Is Energy Not Felt?
Though Almost Incommunicable,
Instincts, Body, knows Truth.
Do Lives Not Collide?
In every passing Stranger.
Is the Chance to Become a Friend.
Each way
Eyes will turn.
Always reminded.
I am Not Alone.
Forever surrounded by other passing lives,
Another ticking clock.
Until the Face is Broken.
Until someone Extends a Favour.
July 9, 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 7:38 AM UTC
This disparaging
Quality of my own
Innocence.
Has been Shrouded,
Burned,
Ashes scattered,
Nary a Hope of
Return.
Though Now
Mine Eyes
Detect a Forward
Purpose.
Glimmering
Whisper of
Further Life
Once Not
Thought Possible.
Once, Never a
Consideration.
Each day Burns
With the
Weary awareness of mine non-actions.
Still aligning Priorities.
From those Ashes,
This Being Has Risen.
Is Striking Back.
Carving Forth.
Turning Words.
Into Every Lived Desire.
July 6th-ish 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 7:07 AM UTC
Yes.
You are the
Center of Your
Universe.
Look Around and
Realize the Constants.
The People,
The Situations,
Activities and
Passions.
Which Cause
Your Smile to
Shine so
Brightly,
So Easily.
Then Decide to Keep Them.
Now,
Take a
Step
Back
To Realize all that
You Want.
Thoughts course
Daily.
"I wish I could do This,
Had Time for This,
Wish I could be This
Kind of Person. Or
Live This
Kind of Life".
Well,
My un-wilting Flower.
There is Nothing
To Stop You.
From Having Everything and More
You Never Thought Possible.
The simple requirement is
The Decision to
Work For.
Only Self
Know True Desires.
Now,
Surround Yourself with
Longing Hearts Priorities
Instead of
Waiting...
To Find
You.
You Are the
Center Magnet.
You must Open Yourself
To be Able
To Attract
Such Yearnings.
Not closed off,
Shrouded,
Hidden.
So Nothing
Can Feel your
Pull.
June 23, 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 7:01 AM UTC
Be Kind.
Such an easy Task.
How clouded
Our Memories
Our Souls.
Our Hearts
Desires.
Be Kind.
It is Your
Choice.
Each pulse
Beats
As Mine,
As Yours.
Together.
We are
Here.
All is
One.
Be Kind.
So Lost from
Us.
So created.
Through each Action
and every
Selfish Inaction.
How did we progress
This Far?
Trust Instincts.
Could this ever
Change?
Hope.
May 15, 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 6:39 AM UTC
Interesting.
Such a simple prompt.
Yet such an important question.
Today.
I am Happy.
An odd mix of
Simple Nothings...
Yet.
Longing For More.
Organizing Goals.
Finally So.
Few kept this Soul
Around.
Now the sound
Gorgeously Echoes my Soul.
I Reverberate.
Wonder what will Happen.
Yet still scared.
Won't Go Searching.
Sit Alone.
But for the First Time
can Stand Taller.
Wake Earlier.
Fighting for Something.
"Education" may differ.
Not been Told, Encouraged, Supported.
To Succeed.
Confidence often Falters.
Today.
I can say I have come an
Incredibly long
Way.
Fought through a
lot
Changed
a
lot
Gave up
a
lot.
Today I can say
There is More to travel.
I do not know what the
Future Holds.
Today,
I see my Actions
Design it.
Less things seem so
Important.
More things seem to
Matter.
Tomorrow...
I Can Wake.
May 15, 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 6:34 AM UTC
How could you Think,
Believe,
Dream,
That you do not
Matter?
It is
All
You are made of.
Reversion of Nature
Causing
Pluralities
Where none of us are
'Enough'.
Where do these stipulations come from?
What 'is' Enough?
What is Ethnicity?
What about the Asian woman with a
Jamaican Accent?
Born and Raised.
How is she Stereotyped?
Why this need to Classify?
Sort?
De-fine.
STOP.
You.
Were born.
Enough.
Choose what your
Ears are Privy too.
It is Known.
Who you Are.
Why Hide?
Why Change?
Do Not
Blindly Follow.
Turn Around.
Give your
Soul
F L I G H T.
A beaming
Shadow.
Not soon
Forgotten.
Matter is
Nothing
Until Observed.
Observe Self First.
Decide the Definition of
'You Matter'.
Do not
Cower.
Express...
All have
Reasons.
You.
Were Not.
An
Accident.
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 9:23 PM UTC
Why does Pure
Silence.
Cause Human
Madness?
Extreme
Discomfort?
Pack Animals
Of the most
Ferocious
Variety.
The most dangerous
Species
Known to this
Planet.
Destructive.
Par None.
The
Silence
So deafening...
Allows witness to this
Disease.
Our selfish motives,
Almost every action.
Is it the
Silence?
Or
Is it being
Alone?
Which causes
Insanity.
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 9:07 PM UTC
Heed who grew up
In a personally constructed Bubble.
Did not want to Deal.
Mindless Matters.
At every
Lonesome Turn.
There are Seekers
Such as
You.
Who have etched a
Similar Path.
Find those who
Function as
You.
Create Together.
Burst the Bubble.
Before it is no longer
Transparent.
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 8:57 PM UTC