To whoever takes the time to read this:
This is not a poem. I like poems about you though. They usually end with us making fabulous love in the back of that old car. Today it is a letter. A letter on how I never meant to fall in love with you. You even told me at the beginning to not love your broken heart, but I couldn't help myself. I saw the beauty in it. It was a slow love, I promise not all at once. It started with a late night under stars, and ended with me drunk begging you to feel the same way. I just miss you. Maybe that is why I wrote this letter. I was thinking if you read it you would know it was about you. Poems don't identify the subject. You are always my subject. And maybe this letter would bring you back to the return address. You would fall in love me the way I love you now. But then again, this will never be sent to you. You will never know the person at the return address. I am sorry I fell in love with your broken heart, because now our hearts look the same.
I will love you always...
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 8:59 AM UTC
I am what I am and I cannot be changed. I am my mother’s wish and my father’s mistake. I am what sent him away and coming back for more. Every boy, guy, man always walks out of my life, but still leaves the light on. I am his punching bag. I am his trophy. I am his rock. I am his. And I am yours. I am a puppet under loves direction. I will care for you like no other. I will worry if a meteor hit you and not anyone else. I will trust you time and time again. I am one to fall in love with you in 8 seconds, but take 8 months to get over you. I like fun trips places, but I also like to lay around and watch movies. I am supportive of big life decisions. I am too emotional about the little stuff. But it matters to me. I won’t give you space because we are together now. I want to spend every moment with you because those are my happiest. I will make assumptions and get my hopes up. I will not be good at distance because I hate being alone. I will always tell you how I feel. I will forgive you when you don’t deserve it. I will give 8 second chances when I didn’t get one. I will love you when you don’t love me anymore. I am what I am and how I love you won’t change. I was molded this way. Can you accept who I am?
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 1:25 PM UTC
Maybe my dad killed himself. Maybe I couldn't tell anyone else exactly how. Maybe I called her. Maybe it had been a few months. Maybe I just wanted to talk. Maybe it was 3 am. Maybe I needed her. Maybe I wanted it to be like old times. Maybe I wanted to wish on a shooting star again. maybe I wanted to fix things. Maybe I picked her up. Maybe I wasn't just me in the car. Maybe it was past her curfew.
It's possible a few drinks were involved. It's possible there was more than a few. It's possible when I kissed her I tasted the Jager like it was my own drink. It's possible those white shorts and crop top made me want her more. It's possible I got her alone. It's possible I told her that I still cared. It's possible that I never said it before. It's possible she cried. It's possible I was too drunk to notice. It's possible that someone else did. It's possible I got jealous. It's possible she just wanted to be held. It's possible he was gentle and did.
Perhaps he offered her a ride home. Perhaps she stayed with me. Perhaps she still loved me. Perhaps I yelled about the boy who cared for her. Perhaps she cried again. Perhaps she went home upset. Perhaps he comforted her again. Perhaps he took her to see fireworks. Perhaps he didn't know she hated them. Perhaps I didn't know she would like them. Perhaps she got closer to him. Perhaps they laughed together. Perhaps they spent all night talking about the dreams and goals I already knew. Perhaps she told him to come back the next day.
It's likely she forgot about me. It's likely she found happiness. It's likely he loved her back. It's likely they went places. It's likely he got her cute gifts. It's likely I liked their pictures on Instagram. It's likely I looked at our pictures. It's likely my sweatshirt is tucked away so he cannot see it. It's likely I was lonely. It's likely that I still want her.
Or do I? Maybe on those lonely nights, when I was feeling down, when drinks blurred everything right, perhaps anything could happen.
But then again, maybe possible, perhaps likely, that I never did need her.
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 8:44 AM UTC
You left me that night for her.
You left me alone.
You left me.
I loved you then.
I love you now.
I love you.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 8:49 AM UTC
Darling, I wasn't asking for ***
Just a kiss to relieve the pain.
I wasn't looking for you to hold me all night long
Just a tight hug to know things will be okay.
I am sorry I came here to talk.
I just wanted a friend.
He broke my heart,
And I will cry on your shoulder.
Go back to your girlfriend in the morning.
Tomorrow when we pass in the hall
You will wink and smile.
I will hurt knowing we were meant for each other.
You know we love each other,
But that won't ever be true.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 9:34 AM UTC
The sun was low in the west one winters day
When I realized you were gone.
A raindrop fell from my eye,
And created a puddle on your t-shirt.
California has never been so cold.
It took your smokey breath away as you exhaled slowly.
So every night I inhale our memories;
Thinking it is keeping you alive.
The first day of spring is tomorrow.
A day of new beginnings.
Maybe I'll buy a ticket to Boston,
And start a new sunrise; instead of watching it set.
Don't worry darling, I won't forget
When the leaves were dying, and so was your heart.
I'll hold onto your whispers in the wind,
And feel your brilliant, shining smile on my summer kissed skin.
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 9:29 PM UTC
A year ago I didn't think I would write our love poem.
A year ago I didn't think I would write our breakup poem.
A year ago I didn't think I would know you.
A year ago I didn't think I would forget you.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:50 PM UTC
I need you.
And if ******* anything gets through, let it be that.
I need you.
I need you on good days and bad ones.
I need you to be here tomorrow and 11 years from now.
And if anything, need me that much.
Make a list of things that are positive in your life.
Live for those things.
If I am the only thing you write down, then live for me.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 11:44 PM UTC
You wrote about piano keys and how you wanted to dance.
Is it really what you want though?
I thought maybe I could give you those things,
But I will never be the great pianist
Or the beautiful ballerina on stage.
I will just be the quiet girl in your writing class.
If that isn't good enough, I understand.
The average girl is nothing compared to her with beauty and talent.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 8:24 PM UTC
2 years ago sounds too short,
But if I counted every minute since that day would be too long.
I have counted the days.
All 730.
I woke up in an all white room with tubes and wires coming from me.
A lot happened up to that moment,
A lot changed after that moment too.
But today is day 730 and I know I will get to 731.
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 11:20 AM UTC