nicole-benson
grew up in NYC--faster than I wanted / no boyfriend and thats the way its staying for a long time / I'm not putting my picture there because then guys stop using their brains after that--my dad died when I was 12 and my mother was a jerk while he was alive so ---can't wait to go away to college-----mom i hope you read this--i could never tell you to your face--i guess this sounds a little angry--just feel a little robbed i guess--miss my dad--he was the man for sure---smarter than everyone else only i didn't know it until i went through all the garbage on my own----I like writing, art, fashion and designing stuff --but maybe i'll add something business to it so I can have the money to do it all. Oh, I have a sixth sense, people keep telling me--can't explain it--like a mind reading type thing but its scary--sometimes i wish i couldn't do it. People i have met in my life haven't always been so nice. only found like 2.
They looked at the shoes but never walked in in them
they decided how they felt but never tried them on
they experienced the color but never on them
they decided they knew how they would feel but never moved in them
they had better shoes
they had to decide to prove they were better
they had to know to judge something that wasn't what they had
they could feel as they could feel because they absolutely knew what they could not feel
Yet they never walked in those shoes
and the pain kept coming
and they didn't know
and they said it was behind me when this very second i got shot again
and they knew but they didn't
and everything you trusted betrayed you
but they knew all about it
and everyone you would have stuck by forever turned on you
to not only stay neutral but rally with strangers against you
and the will continued
all i left is the will
and they all know but they don't
no one who cared really cares
no one who judges really knows
no one can ever walk in these shoes
they act like they know to make up for all they truly dont
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 12, 2012 at 6:03 PM UTC
I'm allowed to care here
the tears aren't ******
emotions can live here without any fears
no one categorizes everyone forgives
I'm allowed to care here
without being restrained
i am still breathing and i can touch you here
i can feel your pain and your passion
i can go beneath what you show the world and see the
deep down true you, the precious you, the emotional you
no filters, no judgements, no damnations
I'm allowed to care here
I'm allowed to feel you here
I'm allowed to be human here
thank you for meeting me here
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 1:26 PM UTC
In the presence of another things go awry
the banter, the timing, the world collide
The feelings become the words
where all gaps begin
when all communications go into a spin
where quiet had a cool, calm, mutual respect
talking seems to take on a neglect
the ego says that I must defend
when the attacker wins there is the end
in our silence love can prevail
so many talking heads make it stale
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 12:48 PM UTC
how can all my caring get so abused?
how could it all not mean anything?
how could i feel so much when nobody else does?
how can the superficial mean more than the truest meanings?
how can what everyone else tells me mean more than what I feel?
how can the most important things in the whole world get ****** by others?
How can we let it?
How can friends,school,religion and even parents so misguide us away from our greatest treasures,our self, our loves, our passion, our music, our art, who we really are?
how can the truth you've spoken get so twisted and turned into something else?
how can 1000's of precious times get wiped out by a few rough ones?
How can the greatest loves a person can have be smahed down by those who don't know love, who don't know what's precious, who don't know what truly means something in this world?
Apr 20, 2012
Apr 20, 2012 at 1:00 PM UTC
Oh its parents and all they believe and then their not better than my opinion
Oh and then its school and all their beliefs but there not better than me
then its friends and all their beliefs but their not better than me
and its television and media and all its beliefs but I liked my original feelings better
then its religion and like oh shit you gotta give it up for that and that's like total bs
after you really dig deep
then its the next employer and like oh god they have to be right but not
they're not better than me I keep being smarter than them
Nothing is better than me so why am I looking in the first place----did I somehow believe that I wasn't good enough to simply love me for me
who sold that lie to me and why was I stupid enough to believe it
anything better than me is BS
Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012 at 3:35 PM UTC
I believed that a person was a birthday wish and they robbed me
I believed a person was a saint and they be-deviled me
I believed a person was intelligent and they acted as a fool
I believed that a person knew all the answers and they now look like a tool
I believed a person was my guiding light and into darkness i was thrown
I believed that a belief was more than me
I believe its not
Only me without beliefs especially not in anything or anyone more than me
I believe in me
me is only the belief without the I
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012 at 4:22 PM UTC
Nobody's opinion makes mine
i am forever in my own light
so strong that no other light can affect mine
i look to no other to see
for mine is the brightest light
and it only dims when i believe i need anothers to see
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012 at 4:10 PM UTC