nicole-arbuckle - Hello Poetry

I hate myself. But clearly not enough to fix me. I continue to hate myself everyday, the hate grows bigger. It's not a hate that you can hide either, people know that I don't love myself. My hate attacks my body my mind my relationships My heart. I'm morbidly obese with hatred I'm dying, but I hate myself too much to care.

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Jan 21, 2015

Jan 21, 2015 at 7:02 AM UTC

Heart Attack

I hate myself. But clearly not enough to fix me. I continue to hate myself everyday, the hate grows bigger. It's not a hate that you can hide either, people know that I don't love myself. My hate attacks my body my mind my relationships My heart. I'm morbidly obese with hatred I'm dying, but I hate myself too much to care.

13

The ice kept getting thinner Collapsing underneath Till there was nowhere else to go For you and me. The snow was left Dying to freeze, But Winter bowed out bravely Fighting Bitter Cold When Time came I looked at you 'On the other side of winter' You said. 'Is the endless Summer I will share with you'. I saw it all As Summer Melted the Winter in my heart. And we said goodbye to what was left The snow, The Winter With Hope.

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Jan 4, 2015

Jan 4, 2015 at 2:14 AM UTC

Winter's End

The ice kept getting thinner Collapsing underneath Till there was nowhere else to go For you and me. The snow was left Dying to freeze, But Winter bowed out bravely Fighting Bitter Cold When Time came I looked at you 'On the other side of winter' You said. 'Is the endless Summer I will share with you'. I saw it all As Summer Melted the Winter in my heart. And we said goodbye to what was left The snow, The Winter With Hope.

22

Colours painting skies My eyes are weak with sorrow Dreams washing away. New hope in the air The promise of tomorrow Eyes closed in soft prayer.

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Jan 4, 2015

Jan 4, 2015 at 2:10 AM UTC

Something

Colours painting skies My eyes are weak with sorrow Dreams washing away. New hope in the air The promise of tomorrow Eyes closed in soft prayer.

6

I wont tell you how I feel. Inside where the roses see no light. I know it will make you sad. I'll keep it to myself, hide it among the thorns, twisting vines making me sick and tired. Dry and baron soil unquenchable, the gardener grieves for the seasons last harvest. The tear buds are shaking from wooden stems Drops of rose blood trying to quench the thirst. A sacrificial death, my own cross yet to bare Wild blood seeps until all the hurt is gone Bled from each bloom, soaking the roots, too late. It is time to say goodbye Each rose must be pruned Hearts left rotting on the ground Fertilizing a new day's harvest They will never be the same no rose as sweet as the one before yet promise lingers with Spring's fresh hope That A tiny bud can bring life from death.

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Jan 4, 2015

Jan 4, 2015 at 2:09 AM UTC

All Roses Say Goodbye

I wont tell you how I feel. Inside where the roses see no light. I know it will make you sad. I'll keep it to myself, hide it among the thorns, twisting vines making me sick and tired. Dry and baron soil unquenchable, the gardener grieves for the seasons last harvest. The tear buds are shaking from wooden stems Drops of rose blood trying to quench the thirst. A sacrificial death, my own cross yet to bare Wild blood seeps until all the hurt is gone Bled from each bloom, soaking the roots, too late. It is time to say goodbye Each rose must be pruned Hearts left rotting on the ground Fertilizing a new day's harvest They will never be the same no rose as sweet as the one before yet promise lingers with Spring's fresh hope That A tiny bud can bring life from death.

21

I would have been your girl If you had simply called me a gift. I remember every word Everything you said: 'The latest of my mistakes, Great for keeping me warm'. You were a domineering bard With lyrical power My young mind tricked by your words crushing me down But now I see that your words Were always lies. You played me like a word game Your truth hurt But it hurt more to know you lied. So I waited, with satisfaction That you would run out of words.

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Jan 4, 2015

Jan 4, 2015 at 2:07 AM UTC

Words

I would have been your girl If you had simply called me a gift. I remember every word Everything you said: 'The latest of my mistakes, Great for keeping me warm'. You were a domineering bard With lyrical power My young mind tricked by your words crushing me down But now I see that your words Were always lies. You played me like a word game Your truth hurt But it hurt more to know you lied. So I waited, with satisfaction That you would run out of words.

18

The first moment I saw you I fell The second time I fell Deeper Deeper Deeper Just by looking at you. You were beautful, your hair, your eyes, your tiny hands I fell Just by looking at you. I saw you, My whole world stopped. Nothing existed, but Me and you. Just me looking at you. Nothing else, No sounds No cares, No time No place Just me looking at you.

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Jan 3, 2015

Jan 3, 2015 at 7:21 AM UTC

On Seeing you

The first moment I saw you I fell The second time I fell Deeper Deeper Deeper Just by looking at you. You were beautful, your hair, your eyes, your tiny hands I fell Just by looking at you. I saw you, My whole world stopped. Nothing existed, but Me and you. Just me looking at you. Nothing else, No sounds No cares, No time No place Just me looking at you.

26

Let us acknowledge The last time we will ever play this song The keys are Slowly Breaking. I thought I loved you, Naive When I spoke, it was not me I heard. You tore me apart Key by Key And yet, I held the pieces I dare not let them go. You can't play the muse When you broke the keys I play upon. I can't lie anymore Pretending to be happy, Like when we were little We're just playing house in our ruins. How can I give you any more in maturity I find myself loving you less? Nothing remains unbroken but...naivety. Here comes the next one, The next 'grown up' Stay as young as you can Naivety makes you 'strong' Even when you're told you're wrong, And love, it hasn't touched you yet. So Keep playing while your keys still resonate Magic.

0

Jan 3, 2015

Jan 3, 2015 at 7:20 AM UTC

While naivety plays

Let us acknowledge The last time we will ever play this song The keys are Slowly Breaking. I thought I loved you, Naive When I spoke, it was not me I heard. You tore me apart Key by Key And yet, I held the pieces I dare not let them go. You can't play the muse When you broke the keys I play upon. I can't lie anymore Pretending to be happy, Like when we were little We're just playing house in our ruins. How can I give you any more in maturity I find myself loving you less? Nothing remains unbroken but...naivety. Here comes the next one, The next 'grown up' Stay as young as you can Naivety makes you 'strong' Even when you're told you're wrong, And love, it hasn't touched you yet. So Keep playing while your keys still resonate Magic.

35

I Born into a broken world Sent to fight their war Darkness clothes the sky My enemy has no name. Striking burnt fields Ducking to the ground Swallow pain Survive. Mud sloshing in boots Fire brightens ***** faces, Sweaty animals My comrades. Shots fired, reverie ends Screams echo in foreign land I mind your warning ‘Come home alive son’ And I will father Just in time to fight again. II Husband’s at war Keeping others safe I turn up the music And wait. Neighbours got a visit Army came to say Son died A noble death Doesn’t stop their tears. III You only need one good shot To play a round of God We’re in control Of life out here A gun can seal your fate. My wife’s at home Waiting I write her everyday I pray I make it Keep my family safe. IV What type of noble death Is supposed to make it right? All that’s left is a flag Keeping bodies warm In cold stone graves. Trumpets sound honour Shots remember death Tears shed In memory of soldiers Marching on. War around us Life stopped in time. V When I look around We’re all the same We each play our part Small acts unkind Paid forward to another. One day a man is killed The next his son’s a soldier. The war inside hearts Spoken in hate Leaving us broken, Seething, Hunting for just cause. War may take families Terrorists; sons, but We are all victims. No one wins a war Casualties can’t win a fight. VI Proud new days In an old war Change has come Political history Declaring: ‘Yes We Can!’ Can we take it back? Soldiers marching to their graves Does change mean Past can be rewritten? The memories robbed From families, Children. Does change mean My brother will never fight? For someone else’s cause While the world waits For Our children to become Collateral damage.

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Jan 3, 2015

Jan 3, 2015 at 7:07 AM UTC

Collateral Damage

I Born into a broken world Sent to fight their war Darkness clothes the sky My enemy has no name. Striking burnt fields Ducking to the ground Swallow pain Survive. Mud sloshing in boots Fire brightens ***** faces, Sweaty animals My comrades. Shots fired, reverie ends Screams echo in foreign land I mind your warning ‘Come home alive son’ And I will father Just in time to fight again. II Husband’s at war Keeping others safe I turn up the music And wait. Neighbours got a visit Army came to say Son died A noble death Doesn’t stop their tears. III You only need one good shot To play a round of God We’re in control Of life out here A gun can seal your fate. My wife’s at home Waiting I write her everyday I pray I make it Keep my family safe. IV What type of noble death Is supposed to make it right? All that’s left is a flag Keeping bodies warm In cold stone graves. Trumpets sound honour Shots remember death Tears shed In memory of soldiers Marching on. War around us Life stopped in time. V When I look around We’re all the same We each play our part Small acts unkind Paid forward to another. One day a man is killed The next his son’s a soldier. The war inside hearts Spoken in hate Leaving us broken, Seething, Hunting for just cause. War may take families Terrorists; sons, but We are all victims. No one wins a war Casualties can’t win a fight. VI Proud new days In an old war Change has come Political history Declaring: ‘Yes We Can!’ Can we take it back? Soldiers marching to their graves Does change mean Past can be rewritten? The memories robbed From families, Children. Does change mean My brother will never fight? For someone else’s cause While the world waits For Our children to become Collateral damage.

117

It never meant as much to you As it always will to me. I stand and watch you walk away Tail between your legs. Too weak to fight for us, Too small to set it straight. I thought you were a better man The kind to measure all others. Now I know you have no more courage than the love you have for me. It hurts to know you are aware I expected more I got far less. You came up short, Left me Disappointed, The word the started it all.

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Jan 3, 2015

Jan 3, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC

Coming Up Short

It never meant as much to you As it always will to me. I stand and watch you walk away Tail between your legs. Too weak to fight for us, Too small to set it straight. I thought you were a better man The kind to measure all others. Now I know you have no more courage than the love you have for me. It hurts to know you are aware I expected more I got far less. You came up short, Left me Disappointed, The word the started it all.

20