It's almost midnight
and I'm stuck here
laying on my bed that wraps me so tight
in warmth and comfort
I wish I could stay here forever
where it is safe
where it is soft
but I'd be lying if
I told you
I wouldn't leave my bed
for you
I told myself I had a crush on you
I lied
it was no longer a crush
it was a slight obsession
I told myself I would get over you
I lied
I fell for you
I can't get out of this hell hole
I told myself that I've lost hope
I lied
There was a piece of me
that could not let you go
I told myself you would
never fall for me
but I got a something from the
way you looked at me
I told you I didn't like you
I lied
Please look into my eyes
and see my pain of lying to you
Please just see me
Notice me
Find me
I finally told you in a letter
about my feelings for you
but by now
it would be a lie
because I've given up
to prevent the pain from
eating me alive for these pass months
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 2:57 AM UTC
Most kids blame themselves for
the divorce of their parents
I blame myself for
my parents not getting divorce
They weren't meant to be
They wanted me to not go through
the stress of living in two different households
every other weekend
but they weren't meant to be
Opposite can attract but sometimes
some things are just too different
I rather have the stress of a divorce than
the constant stress of picking a side
and seeing one disappointed parent
I blame myself
I'm the chain that ties
two ticking time bombs together
One day, I won't be home to be that chain anymore
and when that day comes
I will walk into a home I cannot recognize as home
but as an unforgettable war zone
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 12:11 AM UTC
I cough so many times throughout
the course of the week
I feel a 6-pack coming in
This physical pain I feel can't be worst than
the emotional pain
At least this little time with a cold
will distract me for a while from that
mental cold that never seemed to leave my mind
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC
I hate this
I hate to see you
I mean...I LOVE TO SEE YOU
But I hate to see you with someone else
These little emotions grow bigger
as I wish you would just be single
so I can hold you
so I can sing to you
so I can tell you things
so I can stare at you
as you laugh at something I told you
so I can treat you better than her
I hate myself for even wishing something
so heartbreaking on you but
I would risk that
so I can heal you
with my company
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 1:06 AM UTC
I sit at I home trying to get my **** together
I am out in the public trying to show that
I have my **** together
Some days I have my **** together better than others
Some days anxiety floods my brain
with thoughts that
swishes swashes and sway
in random unpredictable directions
These days when my **** isn't together
I walk in public faking the best laugh and smile
Happiness is a decision
but my happy is an empty piggy bank
that broke before it was even used
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 5, 2015 at 1:44 AM UTC
I laugh
I talk
I play
But I gotta to say
*I am Losing*
I listen
I focus
I see
But I can't agree
when people say
I'm Winning
I actually
hide
cower
and stay up for hours
because
I'm not winning
It's like gym class
where Anxiety, Depression, and Insomnia
are on the opposing side
and I'm by myself hiding behind the bleachers
I'm losing
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 11:52 PM UTC
School's most important lessons were not taught
They were shoved into our subconscious thoughts
telling us to put in all this effort
and still see our parents disappointed face
when grades are sent home
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 11:32 PM UTC
Reciting a poem is like singing a song
but you're not judged on what notes you can reach
but on how your message
reach out to people
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
Black fine tip sharpie glides in perfect curve lines
Letting out a pungent smell
The ink stains my healing skin on my left wrist
as my right hand guides the weapon as if it were a razor
It used to be a razor
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 2:20 PM UTC
I write songs
but they don't sound right
I write essays
but it doesn't look right
I write tweets
but they're irrelevant
I write Facebook posts
but people rather cause drama than find ways to reduce the problem
I write on my hands
but they disappear after a shower
I write on walls
but the city covers them up
I write on a foggy glass
but it fades away
I write my name
but I've written it so many times it just looks like a trademark
Then I write poetry
everything seems right...
everything looks right
everything feels right
everything always reassures me no one will cover it up
everything seems to stay for the moment
Poetry is right
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 11:15 PM UTC