netanya - Hello Poetry

I fell in love with the sound of the wind as it brushed past my ears And I spoke to the breeze under my breath. I let the sun illuminate the darkest shadows within me And I felt them wither and burn into light. I kissed the edge of the sky as it reached for my skin And I closed my eyes so it could cover me entirely. The emptiness that consumed me began to subside Replaced by an overwhelming warmth. I used to scream into my fists and pray for an escape Until the moment your hand grazed mine.

0

Sep 23, 2021

Sep 23, 2021 at 12:38 AM UTC

wake up

I fell in love with the sound of the wind as it brushed past my ears And I spoke to the breeze under my breath. I let the sun illuminate the darkest shadows within me And I felt them wither and burn into light. I kissed the edge of the sky as it reached for my skin And I closed my eyes so it could cover me entirely. The emptiness that consumed me began to subside Replaced by an overwhelming warmth. I used to scream into my fists and pray for an escape Until the moment your hand grazed mine.

10

sometimes the words you want to say get stuck behind your eyes or in your throat if they even get that far at all sometimes i lay on the floor and wonder why i can't detach as easily as others yet i still keep my emotions to myself most of the time i guess that's what happens when you've been hurt so many times or maybe that's what happens when you fully expect to be hurt i've always seen the sun rise on the horizon and locked myself indoors to watch from behind the glass when i should have stepped beneath the rays to feel the warmth of the light on my skin instead it's been seven months since i said i wanted to die and i felt that truth vibrate within my soul i'm learning how to feel the sun again and dance alone and when the dark comes again i'll let it pass right through

0

Jun 21, 2021

Jun 21, 2021 at 7:44 PM UTC

yellow

sometimes the words you want to say get stuck behind your eyes or in your throat if they even get that far at all sometimes i lay on the floor and wonder why i can't detach as easily as others yet i still keep my emotions to myself most of the time i guess that's what happens when you've been hurt so many times or maybe that's what happens when you fully expect to be hurt i've always seen the sun rise on the horizon and locked myself indoors to watch from behind the glass when i should have stepped beneath the rays to feel the warmth of the light on my skin instead it's been seven months since i said i wanted to die and i felt that truth vibrate within my soul i'm learning how to feel the sun again and dance alone and when the dark comes again i'll let it pass right through

12

An art store with only one aisle Shelves stark white and covered with art supplies White tile lines the floor Linoleum beneath my feet and a stench of vaseline She’s standing there waiting for me Staring at me She begins to bang her head against a white shelf The inventory shakes and rattles and falls to the ground THIS IS WHAT WE COULD BECOME The short-haired blonde woman points towards a row of steel compartments Cages Prison cells She continues to bang her head against the shelving Curiosity overcomes me and I turn my head to look Cold, dark, grey metal cells I try to look into all of them but my vision is limited There’s a window scratched and clawed at There’s a woman’s body But there is no woman left The agony she has experienced in this cell is more than the woman in the art store can bare She sees her body Alive, but lifeless Blood running blue through her veins She has nothing left to give Nothing left to cry out for Nothing left to help her A woman’s body lays within the solitary cell She’s given up and she’s barely human anymore As she turns to look at me through the small, dark window that allows a small amount of blue light into the cell A claw reaches from behind the cell I can’t see where it came from What it belongs to It reaches deep into the breast of the blue-ish woman that’s given up all hope Slowly Carefully And with such precision The claw tears out her heart A red, sad, ****** mess And she doesn’t fight back Doesn’t even move

0

Feb 5, 2021

Feb 5, 2021 at 11:38 AM UTC

night terrors

An art store with only one aisle Shelves stark white and covered with art supplies White tile lines the floor Linoleum beneath my feet and a stench of vaseline She’s standing there waiting for me Staring at me She begins to bang her head against a white shelf The inventory shakes and rattles and falls to the ground THIS IS WHAT WE COULD BECOME The short-haired blonde woman points towards a row of steel compartments Cages Prison cells She continues to bang her head against the shelving Curiosity overcomes me and I turn my head to look Cold, dark, grey metal cells I try to look into all of them but my vision is limited There’s a window scratched and clawed at There’s a woman’s body But there is no woman left The agony she has experienced in this cell is more than the woman in the art store can bare She sees her body Alive, but lifeless Blood running blue through her veins She has nothing left to give Nothing left to cry out for Nothing left to help her A woman’s body lays within the solitary cell She’s given up and she’s barely human anymore As she turns to look at me through the small, dark window that allows a small amount of blue light into the cell A claw reaches from behind the cell I can’t see where it came from What it belongs to It reaches deep into the breast of the blue-ish woman that’s given up all hope Slowly Carefully And with such precision The claw tears out her heart A red, sad, ****** mess And she doesn’t fight back Doesn’t even move

40

there exists a portion of my being that refuses to erase your memory impossible, it seems to forget what you mean, what you meant, or what you're becoming. you don't materialize into a wild hallucination or hold me in my dreams when i'm dreaming of love. i don't hear your voice in my mind no laughter, no humming. but when i'm falling in love again and again for someone new so unlike you i'll never feel the same pain as i did the same anguish the same starvation as the day when it all made sense to me when you broke me apart you never let me back in

0

Feb 4, 2021

Feb 4, 2021 at 7:59 PM UTC

Untitled

there exists a portion of my being that refuses to erase your memory impossible, it seems to forget what you mean, what you meant, or what you're becoming. you don't materialize into a wild hallucination or hold me in my dreams when i'm dreaming of love. i don't hear your voice in my mind no laughter, no humming. but when i'm falling in love again and again for someone new so unlike you i'll never feel the same pain as i did the same anguish the same starvation as the day when it all made sense to me when you broke me apart you never let me back in

21

I split my skull to see your memory projected in pools of blood on the kitchen floor. The knives were never enough to keep you alive. I dug a ditch in the garden 6-feet deep to bury my soul with yours and I couldn't breathe without hyperventilating every other moment. Tear me apart and put the pieces in boxes of grey and white. Never did they fit into those square pegs and square holes. I found my blood boiled at every misdirection. Even though we argued all the time the garden took control and the weeds and flowers outgrew us. The knives we placed bloomed and blossomed.

0

Feb 4, 2021

Feb 4, 2021 at 10:18 AM UTC

Your Memoir

I split my skull to see your memory projected in pools of blood on the kitchen floor. The knives were never enough to keep you alive. I dug a ditch in the garden 6-feet deep to bury my soul with yours and I couldn't breathe without hyperventilating every other moment. Tear me apart and put the pieces in boxes of grey and white. Never did they fit into those square pegs and square holes. I found my blood boiled at every misdirection. Even though we argued all the time the garden took control and the weeds and flowers outgrew us. The knives we placed bloomed and blossomed.

4

i gathered every knife from the kitchen stuck them into the soil in the backyard i made a garden of blades in the lawn so you would have something to look at i kissed you on the mouth on your cheek on your neck so you wouldn't forget my breath on your skin if you had stayed i'd probably be a lot stronger now i probably wouldn't cry myself to sleep anymore but i fell in love with a man who was emotionally absent i then fell in love with a man who was physically absent but he loved me more than anything even still i am alone i am alone

0

Jul 10, 2017

Jul 10, 2017 at 12:01 AM UTC

forget me not

i gathered every knife from the kitchen stuck them into the soil in the backyard i made a garden of blades in the lawn so you would have something to look at i kissed you on the mouth on your cheek on your neck so you wouldn't forget my breath on your skin if you had stayed i'd probably be a lot stronger now i probably wouldn't cry myself to sleep anymore but i fell in love with a man who was emotionally absent i then fell in love with a man who was physically absent but he loved me more than anything even still i am alone i am alone

22

i've washed the sheets and slept for days since you left home i thought you'd be right back i thought the last time we ****** wasn't going to be the last i wish i were sober enough to remember it all i'm calling from a prepaid phone to reach you on your prepaid line i'm sleeping on a futon that hasn't been pulled out since you disappeared idk if you still even care i fall in love and never leave just tell me you're done and we can figure it out when are you coming home to me i've been so alone i can't hardly breathe i'll get my **** together when you call i'll get my **** together when you don't

0

Feb 14, 2017

Feb 14, 2017 at 11:58 PM UTC

i'll get over it somehow

i've washed the sheets and slept for days since you left home i thought you'd be right back i thought the last time we ****** wasn't going to be the last i wish i were sober enough to remember it all i'm calling from a prepaid phone to reach you on your prepaid line i'm sleeping on a futon that hasn't been pulled out since you disappeared idk if you still even care i fall in love and never leave just tell me you're done and we can figure it out when are you coming home to me i've been so alone i can't hardly breathe i'll get my **** together when you call i'll get my **** together when you don't

17

You're everything to me, I mean that more and more each time I breathe it out. And I'm unfolding from my skin, each time she fills your lungs. The hopes I held onto with concrete fists, were never enough to keep you here. So why do I try so hard to paint you in shades of grey, when I know you could care less? I want to tear apart my skull so you can take the pieces, so you'd keep the parts of me that'd last forever. The gears inside me stopped turning and my skin's been getting cold. I took a knife to see my insides but I couldn't reach the bone.

0

Nov 24, 2016

Nov 24, 2016 at 1:02 PM UTC

for you

You're everything to me, I mean that more and more each time I breathe it out. And I'm unfolding from my skin, each time she fills your lungs. The hopes I held onto with concrete fists, were never enough to keep you here. So why do I try so hard to paint you in shades of grey, when I know you could care less? I want to tear apart my skull so you can take the pieces, so you'd keep the parts of me that'd last forever. The gears inside me stopped turning and my skin's been getting cold. I took a knife to see my insides but I couldn't reach the bone.

7

I spilled open my heart Dug a blade through bone to find you Blood and fury spilled out and I screamed your name into the dark Brassy glow of the light in the next room Reflected off the burgundy Pooling around my toes I splashed it aside Searched for your name But the thick hot mess Started to disappear Vision blurred And finally I saw your name But it wasn't within me And frankly It never was I spilled for you and now I'm through No goodbye Just empty and alone

0

Apr 28, 2015

Apr 28, 2015 at 7:34 PM UTC

A note to everyone and no one

I spilled open my heart Dug a blade through bone to find you Blood and fury spilled out and I screamed your name into the dark Brassy glow of the light in the next room Reflected off the burgundy Pooling around my toes I splashed it aside Searched for your name But the thick hot mess Started to disappear Vision blurred And finally I saw your name But it wasn't within me And frankly It never was I spilled for you and now I'm through No goodbye Just empty and alone

19

there's a hole inside my head it's been there since day one and i'd hoped you'd help me fill the void even though that's not enough i'd hate for us to be apart but i know you hate my touch i buried myself underground so the dirt would fill me up

0

Apr 16, 2015

Apr 16, 2015 at 6:21 PM UTC

i must've died that night

there's a hole inside my head it's been there since day one and i'd hoped you'd help me fill the void even though that's not enough i'd hate for us to be apart but i know you hate my touch i buried myself underground so the dirt would fill me up

8