It felt like a storm hit me.
It took everything and left me empty.
We lived a life that drained us.
I cried everyday. He got quieter everyday.
We lived in denial.
I'm sure we wondered..
How can we make a home,
if we can't make home out of anything but ourselves?
It could have worked..
We've been with each other since high school.
Five years.
Been waking up next to each other for the past three years.
I know him like I know myself.
He knows me like he knows himself.
He is my best friend.
I always say in my heart every time I wake up next to him:
"I love & appreciate our friendship more than anything".
But..
We're both broken..
We're busy building each other..
For ourselves individually and for us.
Still building a strong foundation..
Still growing.
Still learning to love unconditionally and unapologetic.
I believe, we are love.
But this letter is to tell you that..
It was out of love.
Everything done by us is out of love.
We're both searching for closure..
The only thing that consoles us is,
you have a better home now.
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 2:20 PM UTC
My solace...
I can spend a lifetime in your arms,
crying, laughing, sleeping in your embrace.
I spend most of my days lost in your charms.
You feel like a summer night in December.
Long chats & slow strokes. You remember?
You taste like my favourite wine..
Coffee, grapes, cherries; oh so fine.
You feel like home.
You smell like home.
You taste like home.
You are my home.
The view from the top completes me.
I hear you breathing, you're grabbing; consume me.
The pounding reminds me of heaven,
a place I've never been to but I'm sure its like you Kevin.
I'm in love with a god, I'm floating.
I wrote this poem in my head while he was stroking.
You let me write while I was on a ride,
because you know this is all for you.
An adventure, I'm in the sky.
I could go on forever about everything you do.
You feel like home.
You smell like home.
You taste like home.
You are my home.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 9:11 AM UTC
My heart is not enough.
My ears are not enough.
My words are not enough.
My efforts are not enough.
The home I gave you is not enough.
My love is not enough.
Jun 2, 2017
Jun 2, 2017 at 6:33 PM UTC
I am not free.
I cannot wear what I want,
because I'm going to get attention.
I am not free.
They keep on ********** me with their eyes.
I wear a skirt; they stare.
I wear a dress; it gives them a right to touch me because I "asked" for it.
I wear jeans: they're too revealing.
I am horribly limited!
I have to look over my shoulder everyday,
because I am not safe.
I am not safe at home.
I am not safe at school.
I am not safe at a mall.
I am not safe anywhere.
My first thought in the morning is:
"This could be my last day alive",
because I could get abducted and have my organs harvested.
Nobody cares about my life.
We as women are belittled.
Our existence is not valued.
We are treated like we are nothing.
They beat us.
They **** us.
They **** us.
I am a South African woman.
The system has failed us.
I am not protected.
I am not safe.
I am not free.
May 20, 2017
May 20, 2017 at 6:45 AM UTC
Rehab
I love the head rush.
And the two minutes of peace.
I love inhaling...
Exhaling the demons.
I love you.
I hate you.
You are killing me slowly.
Sadly I keep coming back to you.
Suffocating me every night
Help me let go of you Niccie
My airways are dark and smoky.
Heartbeat escalates every time we kiss.
I love the way you make me feel.
Maybe I'm in love with the idea of you lying in between my opening.
I'm in love with you Niccie.
But I have to let go.
May 17, 2017
May 17, 2017 at 12:09 AM UTC
I am a woman.
I breath life into everything I touch.
I am love and hope.
My body carries stories of heartache , pleasure and sweet nights with him.
I am happiness.
I am power.
I am the deep , blue ocean.
I am a woman.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 18, 2016 at 6:24 PM UTC
I started living at sixteen
and I think he met happiness at nineteen .
He came and he saved me
I was never ready
He introduced me to life
and brought back the light.
We spent our days clamped onto each other
Our hearts kissed,we were always together
And then... Distance came
and our souls were once again tamed
Distance decided to give us a hug
None of us realized that Mr distance was a ****
What is death?
Is he really a myth?
Is he really strong,
or am I just wrong?
Death is pulling your lover out because you have to part .
Death is the word "goodbye".
Some people say that death is art ,
but they've never fell in love with the sky
Life is seeing your lover after ninety days
Life is running into his arms and thanking God for him
Life is falling asleep in his arms
Life is looking into Kevin's eyes with a smile
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 3:59 PM UTC
Dear Neo ..
I'm writing this to you, hoping you will still be here tomorrow.
I'm hoping that you will be released from all the sorrow.
I know that you cry every night.
I know that it seems like you will never see the light.
I know the last thing you want to do is fight,
but hold on tight, because everything will be alright.
I pray that one day you'll be able to " kiss the sky " ,
dry the tears in your eyes
and look back to all the times
where you were begging to die,
when pain made you dry,
and no matter how much you tried,
you never saw yourself fly.
You never saw yourself smile.
I know you will win this battle.
I know you'll be able to run around care free.
I know you will smile, because I don't know anyone as strong as you are.
Dear Neo..
I don't believe in anything like I believe in you.
Jul 23, 2015
Jul 23, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
I am out at sea.
I am alone and I am lost.
I am scared and so my whole being starts to drown.
I see nothing but darkness,
as I start to fall deep into the ocean.
I hear his voice.
Wait! I hear my lovers voice,
but I can't see him.
He is pulling me out.
He is helping me fight this storm.
He tells me all will be well.
I make it, and my head is above water.
I am able to breath and move.
I smile, hoping to see him by my side, but he is not there.
I realise that my lovers words are my hope.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 4:13 PM UTC